


Here in Spirit

by m3la



Category: Death Note
Genre: Alternate Universe, Assholes being assholes to eachother, Hallucinations, High School, M/M, Mild Gore, Mild gore in some chapters, Mystery, Mythological References, Psychic Abilities, School Clubs, Shinigami, Supernatural Elements, That's it that's the plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-19 18:38:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 52,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4756850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m3la/pseuds/m3la
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remembered that one manga panel where there's a newspaper that calls Kira a psychic killer, took the idea and ran with it. AU where Kira is indeed a psychic killer, and L is an amateur paranormal investigator with a different background.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Opening Credits

Ennui would be the death of him.

Or, as he commonly found himself wondering at times like this, perhaps it already had been.

Huddled in a ball on a seat in the dark, the glow radiating from the network of monitors that illuminated the ghost of a figure hunched under a blanket was the only thing that made his slight form visible to the world. Each screen scrolled endlessly with new information; new posts and inquiries, but not one, it seemed, was able to catch the interest of the dull eyes that tirelessly scoured them.

He reflected, chewing fruitlessly at a long-bare lolly stick, that being selective about his 'cases' wasn't much of a tip in his favour when it came to getting anything done. Despite his rather infamous reputation among the community as _L_ , an amateur so-called paranormal investigator, it only meant that more and more reports would be fabricated, each more over-the-top than the last, in an attempt to grab his attention.

Not that such a line of work was much of a profitable one, anyway – the cold winter draft that seeped in infectiously from the thin walls of the once-abandoned apartment he'd taken residence in, despite the windows being closed, was a constant reminder.

But it didn't matter.

Because, as someone who understood a great deal about a great many things, it seemed natural to be drawn eventually towards what he, and the rest of the world, did _not_ understand – what could not be explained. It was the only challenge his brain could find for itself, and so it had worked away quietly and tirelessly, ever since a certain encounter that had shaken his beliefs forever.

The only challenge, at least... until that ubiquitous _other_ conundrum inevitably reared its head: understanding human stupidity.

L sighed as he scrolled down page after page of forums, each topic calling for help with a different paranormal problem. While it was usually easy to weed out the lies from the truth, the most interesting ones naturally had the highest percentages of being fake. He imagined them as he pored over each one –

_Debatable, but unlikely. Seventy-nine percent._

_Possible. Twenty percent._

Discarding his soggy, chewed-up lolly stick for any other brightly wrapped sweet his shivering cold fingers could find from the pile strewn about the desk, he glanced at one of many topic headings, displayed on the rightmost screen that had a Japanese board pulled up, by chance.

_Oh, no, absolute bullshit. Ninety-nine percent._

The white face illuminated by the screens grinned in amusement. Sometimes it was fun to read something so obviously silly and fabricated, like the one he'd come across just now. The post, made by someone from Tokyo under the online handle ' **M-ko** ', was titled:

**Help. When I get angry, I imagine people near to me dying, and then it really happens! Am I some kind of messed-up ESPer?**

Just from the contents of her post, it was easy to deduce that the girl was merely experiencing realistic hallucinations triggered by her emotions, and needed a mental professional's help, not a supernatural investigator's. Naturally, far too many people replying on the board were eager to believe her story and respond in kind, some even demanding that she kill people they personally hate. One particularly disturbing response declared that she should start killing all the bad people in the world, and become a hero. It was a childish idea, but many people on these boards really were just children, after all.  
Placing numb fingers on the keyboard, the blanket over them doing little good, L began typing up his response, hoping it would set this girl straight. Perhaps he didn't quite understand the supernatural yet, but fear and delusion were another matter.

Having finished typing up his reply, he submitted it, and sat there for a few seconds in silence, feeling very disoriented all of a sudden. It was never nice to know you had forgotten something, but were presently unable to think of what it could possibly be.

Dark eyes darted downwards, and spidery fingers picked up the unwrapped strawberry daifuku that it seemed had been neglected when he'd begun writing.


	2. Secret Circles

Ennui had been the death of him.

Crushing, despairing boredom. For all its contents, his mind was useless – a cluttered, dust-clogged library left untouched for God knows how long, collecting mould and rotting away.  
The world was the same. It was rotting away too, but nothing could be done to save it. Nothing could be done, and least of all, by himself. As weary eyes fixed on the screen where a news report was showing, irritation bubbled to the surface.

If only something could be done. If only _he_ could do something, right now.

If only people like that would just _drop dead_.

His head dizzied, vision becoming out of focus. _A migraine, a sudden headache?_ Spots of light were dancing in front of his eyes as behind them, a sudden burning sensation stabbed through, spreading over nerves like a forest fire, sharpening thoughts into points and reaching out –

Everything was foggy as the abrupt headache slowly dissipated, senses returning, sight clearing. His ears prickled as they became alert once again to the sound blaring from the television.

_The hostages are coming out!_

With those words, the dust lifted.

**-**

**I think the Killer's out for revenge!**

Lightless eyes caught on the topic title, displayed on the leftmost screen.

Ever since the recent mysterious strain of heart attacks killing off criminals all around the world, it was only natural that the boards would become crowded with musings and ravings considering the deaths as a supernatural phenomenon – everything from the work of God or _a_ god, to some kind of malignant spirit or curse. L found himself discounting only the former two.

It was ironic, then, that his prayers had been answered – his boredom had been cured – by the appearance of this new case. Wrapped up in his own thoughts and theories, L had abstained from contributing much to the discussions that were taking over the supernatural boards by storm, and as a result, many users were starting to wonder loudly if he was going to announce an interest in it.

Clicking on the topic, the thread soon loaded and filled the screen.

 **[Haru7]  
** **Posted: 03/09/10**

**First, I'm going to call whoever or whatever is responsible for the killings [Kira], for the sake of this post.**

**It's obvious that Kira is trying to send us a message. Kira must want evil people to disappear, right? There's no other explanation for why only criminals would be targeted. I think Kira must be a god, and I'm scared, because I always worry that I'm going to be a horrible person one day.**

**Kira will not be satisfied until there is no evil in the world. Therefore, Kira will never go away.**

_In other words_ , thought L, _you think this Kira is trying to punish people, like everyone else on this discussion board._ _But Kira is no god._

There was no way that 'evil' could be destroyed in the way Kira operates. If there was any culprit behind such a crime as this, he had already decided that without a doubt, it had to be a human. A deluded human with a childish idea of justice.

The picture the idea painted was certainly an interesting one, and to L, it had felt like a piece of the puzzle that was this case had suddenly clicked. It fit, and it fit far too well.

**[An32]**

**'kira' like killer? lol**

**I think kira-san is here to bring pain. kira-san, can you punish my ex girlfriend?**

Reply after reply was coming in, now, and it seemed the original poster's name of 'Kira' had stuck, and fast.

**[K-chan]**

**I think Kira-san is like that girl who said people died when she got angry! Wait, what if they're the same person? Has anybody heard from M-ko recently? Kira-san could definitely be an ESP killer.  
** **-  
** **[34MIYO]**

**But L shut her down, right? She was just faking!  
** **-  
** **[milkyplanet]**

**Kira is real. Can't you see that for yourself? That girl and Kira are no coincidence! I think they're connected too!  
** **-  
** **[34MIYO]**

**L was wrong?  
** -  
**[xxx0]**

**He's full of shit.**

While the disrespect to his name was of little worry to L, the thought of M-ko – _One-percent girl_ , he reminded himself sourly – having some possible link to this situation was interesting. Not only did her ravings bear an uncanny resemblance to the killings, but she was located in Kanto, Japan – since finding out the definite location of this _Kira_ to be Japan, narrowed down to that specific region, even, L had started exclusively paying attention to the Japanese board. He decided to have a look into her recent post history, only to find that M-ko had deactivated her account, rendering the history inaccessible. Now that was curious. Interest now sparked, L searched across the boards, making use of each screen in order to locate topics that the girl had posted in.

The search had turned up nothing for the most part. A couple of hours later, he hadn't found anything from her, and was about to give up, until finally he hit upon it – a topic titled _**I want to meet him**_. It had been made quite a while ago – the date, L noted, coincided with the news report that hypothesized a person, or group of people, being behind the mysterious deaths. Hypothesizing that there was a _killer_.

 **[M-ko]  
** **Posted: 03/09/01**

**I knew it. I knew there had to be someone like me out there! I want to meet him, I want to meet him so much. At least, I started imagining it was a guy. I wonder if he's cute? I'm going to meet him.**

**I know none of you here believe me any more because of what that L guy said about me, so I'm deleting. It doesn't matter anyway.**

Interesting indeed. If there was any truth to the girl's post, then it would seem that she and Kira were entirely separate. There was no way that M-ko, talking about wanting to meet Kira and being excited over learning of their existence, could be the killer herself, unless she had indeed somehow met with Kira as was her intention and was now cooperating with them. But that thought was more-or-less irrelevant, at least for now.

So as for the culprit, he was back at square one – mostly. But more and more pieces were joining together, and they were forming the foundations of a plan.

It was time to put the first step into motion.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note: all dates in this fic are Year/Month/Day, which is the order used in Japan/China/etc. Also, the canon timeline has been pushed back for plot reasons.  
> Also... all chapter titles are Hybrid tracks because reasons .v. (the entire thing is currently finished so chapters will be uploaded quickly)


	3. Original Sin

_Killer._

The name they'd given him – it wasn't a graceful one. It wasn't a noble one. It was a crude description of his cause.

_But_ , he thought to himself as he sat at his desk, eyes lit up as they raked over webpage after webpage dedicated to this name, _it was an acknowledgement in the hearts of those who needed him.  
_ It was the acknowledgement he wanted. An acknowledgement from those who believed in his justice. Those who believed he had truly been chosen for this task. Why else would it be him to receive such a gift and nobody else?

The webpage suddenly froze. Light was unable to move his mouse or click on anything. He was about to try and force the page to close before the previously-black background and information were replaced.. His irritation dissipated, quickly becoming confusion as a series of pictures appeared.

They were photographs of criminals, lined up, some with their names printed nearby and some without.

**Kira, there are many criminals who even you cannot find.**

The page displayed these words at the top.

**I've decided that I want to help you, but because I didn't know how I could reach you, I've placed this message on every Kira website that I knew. I hope that you see this.**

**I will have more information for you on 03/09/12 at 9:45 P.M. The page will be displayed for five minutes. I hope that you will be able to see it.**

**-**

It worked.

Throwing a piece of bubblegum into his mouth and savouring the sour apple filling as it burst when he bit down, L was grinning rakishly to himself in a manner quite certain to startle young children.

He was beside himself with glee.

It was absolutely horrifying.

But aside from that, he was quite certain he felt more alive than he had in years. Not even being forced to eat tofu could possibly dampen his mood at the moment.  
Having checked the records of the death-row criminals that he had specifically chosen, it seemed that two were now gone – recently deleted. The convicts' date of death had been two days from now, so there was no doubt that Kira had seen his page and killed them like L had expected.  
He'd also gained a possible hint. Out of the four convicts that had been shown on that list, two of them had been shown with a picture and a name. Another had only a photo, and the last had only a name. The latter two were still alive according to their records. Judging from this, it was possible that Kira needed both a name and a face to kill.  
Additionally, while the page had been up, L had been monitoring the IPs of the visitors to the sites – he'd only used Japanese Kira fansites – and took note of their locations and when they stopped viewing. Most dropped away as soon as they saw the page, but some stayed. A certain IP from Kanto had stayed a very long time on one of the sites, but it wasn't enough proof. L needed to see if that person would return next time.

Next time indeed.

 


	4. True to Form

**03/09/12, 9:45 P.M**

With some slight apprehension, he watched as the webpage slowly loaded.

Expecting to see more photos, Light stared in confusion as the blank page appeared, displaying nothing but a large calligraphic letter in the center, stark black on white.

_**I hope you could make it, Kira.** _

The distorted voice jumped out of the speakers, and Light flinched in response. This was undoubtedly the same person – had last time been some kind of setup?

_**I had some doubts about you at first, but now it's clear. You are a single, deluded individual with a childish view of justice, somehow killing masses of people.** _

What was this? Light drew a sharp breath, gazing furiously at the screen. He'd been played...?

_**You can call me** _ **L.** **_As someone interested in mysteries that can't be explained, whether supernatural or not, more than anything I want to explain_ you _, Kira_ .  _I'm going to expose you._ **

He snorted indignantly.  _And you want to explain me so much that you were fine with using lives as pawns to prove your theories. This guy is a disgusting hypocrite._ It seemed this L guy saw this as a game – and he'd simply tried to find the best strategy for getting ahead in it. He wasn't interested at all in any personal ideas of justice of his own. It was interesting, at the very least.

And by  _interesting_ , Light supposed he meant  _I'd only stop to criticize his personal hygiene before I make him drop dead right into a waiting casket, cocky little shit_ .

_**My previous message to you was only put up on Japanese Kira supporting websites. The name 'Otoharada Kurou' should be familiar to you, right?** _

Light grit his teeth. How...? This random guy on the internet was really obsessed enough to have figured that out? What were the odds of that happening? Even the international police hadn't cottoned on yet. Heh. Sacrificing this guy was almost going to feel like a waste.

_**With his death broadcast only in the Kanto region of Japan, it should be fairly obvious how I managed to narrow down your location. Between it and your second killing, there was a fairly large gap of time.  
** _ _**Your first murder was, more or less, an accident. Then, with each subsequent string, the number of victims went up. Two, at first, perhaps as a test. Then six – testing your limits - then down to four, staying consistent for the next three attempts, until finally, you got bolder again, killing more and more people each time.** _

It was certain. He was going to _kill_ this 'L' and cheerfully step dance on his grave.

Even though Light didn't actually know how to step dance.

In which case, he was going to kill L, sign up for step-dancing classes, learn how to step dance to a passable skill level, and _then_ cheerfully step dance on his grave. It was very important to be _good_ at it before he went tapping around mausoleums willy-nilly, because an egotistical asshole of _this_ caliber only deserved the best. This would, of course, be all a little time-consuming but Light had been needing to take up a new hobby after he lost interest in tennis.

_**This means two things: First, your ability to kill people came unexpectedly. Second, it has a limit of some sort.** _

Who _was_ this guy? He needed to know – he needed to rip away that stupid alias and pull out this hiding anonymous bastard from behind the cracks, let his mind tear _his_ apart and show him how smart he really was for trying to play with things he didn't understand.

_**I want to find that limit. How about you try and kill me, Kira?** _

He realised the point of that little trap L had set two days ago. It had been meaning to test his limits, to see how he killed. Wary that if the news or police got ahold of what had happened they could use it to piece together more about him, Light had deliberately only killed the people with both names and faces showing in order to make any potential onlookers think that Kira was more limited than he really was. And, amazingly, he realised L would have had no choice but to fall for it too.

As for his _actual_ limits, perhaps it _was_ time to test them. Yes - Light would let L find them out, right now. He grinned, focusing on the letter obnoxiously dominating the center of the screen, staring as if taking in the swirls and edges could somehow piece together a face inside his mind.

_**Aren't you going to do it? Don't pity me, now. Kill me!** _

Light attempted to envision whoever was behind this, whoever _L_ was, and felt the familiar burning behind his eyes, sending his brain's signals into form - but they couldn't latch on.

_**Humour me a little. At least try.** _

Frustrated, Light concentrated harder, frantically gripping the edges of the monitor, close enough that his face was nearly pressed against the screen. If looks could kill, that letter sitting so innocently on the screen would be dead six times over.  
Luckily, they _could_. And if Light had any luck, they w _ould have done_ by now.

His head had stopped aching, and it hurt too much to continue trying. Gasping from exertion and hoping it had somehow worked, Light let his hands drop down, resting his head on top of his arms on the desk, trying to regain his energy.

There was a pause.

_**It seems you can't. Don't get down over yourself – remember, everyone's a winner if they try. I'll give you a gold star for effort.** _

Light just about popped a blood vessel. For a moment, he double-checked to make sure he had indeed just heard that, and it wasn't some ridiculous hallucination brought on by his mental exhaustion.  
Sure enough, the voice soon continued on as nonchalantly as ever, and as he seethed violently, Light wondered if that bastard would sound victoriously smug if his voice wasn't disguised.

_**I am going to find you, and most importantly, I am going to find out how you kill. That's what I'm interested in.** _

It took just about every ounce of self control within his body in that moment to stop himself from screaming in frustration.

_**It was nice talking to you. I hope we can meet each other soon.** _

With that, the blank page refreshed, and the website returned to normal. All Light could hear was his pulse racing through his ears, blood boiling furiously. He slammed the desk, shaking with rage and growling.  
When L wanted to find his limit, it seemed Light had found it too. He'd never tried to kill somebody he couldn't see an image of before, and this had proven that it was impossible to do so.  
One thing was for sure, Light told himself, laughing wildly as he realised it – and it was that whoever that L guy was, he sure was an idiot - no matter how smart he was to have found out so much about him so far.

After all, what else could you call somebody who thought it was a good idea to try and become Kira's opponent?

 


	5. Altitude

The soft static shushing of rain that hadn't let up since the early morning sounded from above, pattering on the roof of the underpass.  
Dull footsteps echoed, swallowed up by the sound of the downpour outside. It had been raining for so long that it'd gotten to that point where everything smelled like wet dog, and it wasn't doing much to help Light's ever-present nausea any.  
Going through too many people always took a lot out of him, and he'd been exhausted all day. It was hard enough not appearing tired at home in order to avoid raising suspicion, but it was even harder to not fall asleep in class, especially when he was already so bored in them all the time. He'd find himself unconsciously letting his head fall into his waiting hand, eyes drooping closed when the teacher wasn't looking, stealing a few precious moments of sleep.

Rubbing at a temple tiredly, Light found his eyelids threatening to close themselves yet again as he walked. The static had become a heavy torrent of white noise now, filtered through the shell of the underpass like a glass door.  
It was just as well, with the rain swallowing up everything and his dizzy head leaving him unfocused, that he didn't notice that someone had been following him until too late.

A hand grabbed Light's shoulder and he spun, glimpsed his assailant, a flash of steel headed for his chest -

And the world shook.

For a moment, everything blanked, and all that could register to his mind was searing pain, a fizzle that burst into a full-blown firework, as if it was possible to explode from the inside – his head was knocked out of commission, white light bursting in front of his eyes.  
Aching all over, Light fell to his knees, clutching his pounding head as it slowly, slowly steadied. The static of the rain outside was drowned by a feverish ringing from his ears, pinpricks of pain needling inside them in time with his racing pulse. He brought one shaking finger to the inside of his ear and then in front of his face, eyes managing to open despite the continuing dull ache of pain.

Red coating the tip from where it had touched.

There was nothing but red, red splattered everywhere. Where his assailant had once stood, a thick coating of blood now lay, staining the ground, staining the walls, staining -

It dripped into his vision, dripping from his hair like the rain outside, running down his face like tears.

His stomach lurched.

With its contents soon emptied out on the ground, shakily Light managed to stand, eyes still wide with horror.

Somehow, he'd done that with his subconscious. An instant reaction to being threatened... He'd have time to think on that later – right now, it was time to get out.

_Get out, get out, get out of here_. He had to repeat it like a mantra inside his head just to get his legs to move again, breaking into a sprint and running towards the exit of the underpass into the downpour outside.

-

Upon arriving home, there was no word that could describe how quickly Light bolted upstairs after getting rid of his shoes. He locked himself inside the bathroom and threw off his blood-stained clothes, making sure to place them down on the sides that were still clean, before stepping into the shower and slowly calming down, now finally allowed to breathe after all the panic of before.

The hot water was almost scalding, and that was how he needed it to be.  
First things first, he'd have to to dispose of that uniform. He could say that he fell in a puddle on the way home and it got so muddy and damaged that he had to throw it out (read: _burn it_ ).  
Second, Light needed to make up an excuse that would cover up his involvement. He could claim that he walked home a different way today, and didn't go through the underpass. It might be difficult, but he'd get out of it. People were sure to believe him – Light made that certain.

They always did.

They always had to.

At the very least, there was little chance of the murder being linked to Kira. The news of Kira being in Japan had quickly spread from a certain source on the Internet and had become impossible to ignore, _naming no names here_. (Quite literally, as Light was always _extremely_ loath to remind himself when he tried to think about killing the bastard for the fortieth time that week.) But if Light handled this properly, this event shouldn't draw any suspicion towards him, because as far as the world knew, and as far as _he himself_ had known until today, Kira could only kill via heart attacks and brain failure.

It was hardly possible to think any more with his head still aching like it was, so Light decided to get it to agree to shut up for now.

It had already given him enough trouble.

 


	6. I Know

“Everyone, we have a new student joining us today.”

Groaning inwardly, Light pried his heavy eyelids open and craned his neck to look at the front of the class. Today, he just couldn't be bothered to compose himself properly, and besides, everyone else's attention had drifted in that direction too.

Confused noises soon exchanged around the room.

“Er, that is... I'm not sure where he is, in fact.” Their homeroom teacher looked side to side, searching around the room. “Ryuta-kun? I think that was his name, anyway...”

A long pause, and then...

“Oh, sorry. I'm over here.”

Everybody turned their heads wildly, trying to spot the source of the flat voice that had suddenly spoken out. For a moment, Light wondered why everybody was looking his way, until he realised the student must be sitting right behind him, and turned around.

His reaction, it seemed, was similar to most people's: blinking oddly and staring. But one look at the guy was enough to tell you that it wouldn't really be a good idea to try and start a staring contest with him, given his marble-like, unblinking black eyes. There was some unsettling quality, something that clawed subconsciously at the pit of Light's stomach until he eventually placed it – the illogical, inexplicable, complete lack of any sort of reflection inside them.  
The rest of the new student was an unruly mess of angles, with dark hair that couldn't have seen a hairbrush for a year against sickly skin that couldn't have seen the sun for even longer. His uniform was wrinkled, and either he'd never worn a tie before in his life or just really, really didn't care, and Light couldn't decide which was more likely.  
And to top it all off, he was sitting curled in his seat strangely, folded up in a ball with the kind of hunch that looked like it could only come from living packed in a cupboard for most of your life.

Had this freaky-looking guy really been sitting behind him the entire time? Light had never noticed him walk in.

“Ah, my apologies, er...” Their teacher glanced at the paper in his hand, pausing. “Oh, Ryuga-kun, that's it. Ryuga Hideki-kun.”

There was a collective sort of Mexican Wave of disgust among the female student population, in which they all jumped in their seats in unison at the announcement of the name.  
That disgust was just about palpable, and unfortunately it had to come with an audio accompaniment as about seven different 'EEEEEH?!'s filled the room, conveniently reminding Yagami Light why he didn't really care for said female student population.

“No way!” one girl cried out, and more soon followed after her.

“Ju-On-kun over there has the same name as _him_?!”

“Hey, he really does look like a ghost, doesn't he?”

“I think his parents finally got him to leave his room and go back to school...”

And, awkwardly, in a hushed voice from someone in the back...

“I think he's kind of cute...”

Ryuga, for his part, merely stared into space amidst the barrage of comments, which seemed to be going in one ear and out the other. When the teacher finally got everybody to shut up, he blinked, still holding that wide-eyed, unfocused gaze, and announced with obvious faux-enthusiasm, “It's nice to meet you all. I hope I can work hard.”

Everybody, more or less, awkwardly turned away from him at last, and started whispering amongst themselves. Light was about to do the same, before he saw Ryuga's far-away stare change.  
Those black eyes were undoubtedly now locked on him, and the polite smile he'd been wearing previously as a mask was shattered just the same as it had been seen through by them. It was an unnerving feeling, and Light fought to suppress another shiver, narrowing his own eyes slightly.  
And then, slowly, a wide, disturbing grin spread from ear to ear on the other's face. His unblinking gaze didn't waver for even a second. Perhaps it wasn't the grin itself that was disturbing, but the fact that it was on _that particular_ face. For all Light knew, the boy could've been trying to be friendly, but the fact of the matter was that it did _not_ belong there.

And those bottomless eyes said that they knew it. No, there was _no_ way Ryuga wasn't doing this intentionally just to creep him out.

“Yagami-kun?”

 _Shit,_ Light suddenly realised as their teacher's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Gritting his teeth as inconspicuously as possible, he stood up and sweetly replied, “Yes?”

He already knew what this was going to be about, and he was already dreading it. To keep his good reputation up, he'd always make a point of making friends with new students and holding the duty of showing them around, to the point where all his teachers just knew to ask him automatically by now. Light was _not_ in the mood to put up with this choice asshole right now, and that was an understatement.

But of course, he would have to bear it and be polite. Ah yes, that dreaded word, with all its obligations.

“You know the drill by now. It would be nice if you could show Ryuta-kun around. I understand he's just moved in from very far away. It will probably take some time for him to get used to how things work here.”

“I understand.”

Light gave his best nauseating infomercial smile to the other sitting at the desk behind his and motioned for him to follow.

–

As they both walked down one of the main hallways, Light pointed out the various rooms and storage areas, but the other never seemed to so much as turn to look at them. In fact, Ryuga gave no signs at all that he was even listening when Light was talking. He was on his own planet, most likely, where nobody slept, brushed their hair, or lived outside of broom cupboards.

“It's nice to meet you, Yagami-kun,” Ryuga said abruptly, apparently having disconnected his frequency with Pluto. “I hope that we can be friends.” He'd finally turned to look at Light while walking next to him, hands placed in his pockets, still hunched over. It made him seem shorter than he was, as Light could tell Ryuga would be about the same height as him if he was standing normally.

Infomercial smile went on again, though this time straining slightly as Light fought to keep his composure. “If you want, I'll certainly be your friend, Ryuga,” he replied pleasantly.

Ryuga placed his thumb against his mouth, gaze discerning as if he was attempting to zoom in on Light and analyze him on the molecular level. It was a kind of look that gave you the idea he'd probably notice if you wore one non-ribbed sock that day and silently judge you knowingly. “Then I'm glad – after all, you seem very friendly. I was just wondering, are you planning to advertise toothpaste in the future?”

Infomercial smile no longer strained _slightly_. “Oh, no. I plan to go into law enforcement.”

Ryuga frowned theatrically. “A crying shame indeed, Yagami-kun.”

“Perhaps for the advertising industry.” Light sweetened his smile, making sure to get those amicable crinkles round his eyes, tilted his head, and then decided to twist the knife. “May I ask what _you_ plan on doing in the future, Ryuga?”

Ryuga smiled in return in a manner that his brain had probably told to be 'friendly' and his face interpreted as 'dubious'. “I'm going to be an ice cream man.”

Infomercial smile had not been prepared for this, and simply became _strained_ _smile_.

“It's important to have a dream, I suppose,” Light replied, fully aware and willing that the hint of acid edging his words behind the warm tone would be easily picked up by the other.

For a second, he imagined an older, balding Ryuga in an ice cream van, smiling at small children, and just about choked in disbelief.

“But it's interesting that you are going into law enforcement, Yagami-kun, since one of the options I considered was becoming a detective.”

“That's unexpected, Ryuga.”

_Understatement._

Ryuga looked away from Light and tilted his head slightly, tapping his fingers against his mouth. “Of the supernatural, though. A supernatural detective. Yes, that was what I wanted to do, I think. So it's a bit different. It sounds kind of cool, right?”

Ah yes, right back to weirdness. That comment, though, registered a strange flag in Light's mind for a second, but he couldn't quite place it.

“But instead I suppose you decided your talents were put to better use selling 99p Flakes.”

Ryuga looked at him again, expression and tone both deadly serious. “Yes.”

They'd reached the end of the main hallways by now, and there was nothing left for Light to show the new student. Besides, he knew the other had never been listening to him from the start, and he had therefore just stopped pointing out the various locations.

“This is the end of the tour, right?”

“Right.”

 _And thank God. I'd just about break out into fucking dance right here if I didn't have self control so strong it can deal with_ you _right now._

“Then we'll be going back to class.”

_And have you unfortunately sitting behind me, you weird creeper._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friends insisted I should space out updates even though the whole thing is done and I just want to put it all up, so I'll go back to adding more tomorrow and see how things go .u.  
> How does a Japanese person know what 99p Flakes are? Well, I suppose if he can have every work of Shakespeare memorized front to back in German in most other fanfiction, he can know random trivia about ice cream vans in the UK. (maybe it would be a problem if I was writing seriously, lololol.)


	7. Know Your Enemy

“Yagami-kun?”

He turned to see a short girl with cropped black hair and glasses standing by his desk. Light recognised the girl, Kaji Kyoko, as she was in his year.  
And after he'd gone out of his way to find a mostly-empty classroom to sit in and attempt to get some sleep this breaktime. _Sigh._

“What is it?” Light asked her, quickly trying to look awake.

Kyoko smiled sheepishly, looking at the ground with her hands together, fingers fiddling. Well, it was obvious that she wanted something, and he'd seen her staring a little more than was healthy in class at that freaky new kid for the past few days. At least for once, Light wasn't going to be the one getting asked out.

“So I was wondering, about Ryuga-kun...” Kyoko started.

It was easy to put two and two together.

“You're his friend now, right?” She asked.

_I suppose I am, but you don't have to remind me._

“Right,” he replied. Infomercial smile, canned laugh.

Kyoko then looked straight at Light, smiling earnestly. Her face was slightly red. “I was wondering if you could maybe... Maybe, uh...”

 _Sigh_. “Talk to him for you?” Light finished for her.

She nodded, and then bowed. “I-If you could, please... I'd be really thankful, Yagami-kun. Because, you see... I hear he's set up a club now, and I want to join, so... If you could tell Ryuga-kun that...”

“I'll... Pass it on.”

“Oh, what a coincidence, Yagami-kun.”

 _When did_ he _get here_?

Ryuga was standing by the doorway casually, and decided to invite himself to walk nearer to Light, taking no notice of Kyoko, who apparently thought it was a good time to start practicing an impression of choking on a peanut.

“I was just about to come and tell you about my club, actually,” he said, perching on top of a nearby desk like some kind of insomniac gargoyle and looking down at him from it.

Light instinctively shuffled his chair back slightly, catching Kyoko having what appeared to be a miniature nervous breakdown out of the corner of his eye. Sure, he was glad that she wasn't into _him_ instead like most girls, but... just what did she see in that guy?

Maybe it didn't really bear contemplation.

“That's great, Ryuga, but I'm already in a club.”

Light supposed he was a fool for expecting that to deter his newly-coerced friend, because Ryuga just continued talking. “Perhaps if you find it interesting, you'll want to join, Yagami-kun,” he explained, placing a hand to his mouth and tilting his head.

Kyoko spluttered, trying to speak up all of a sudden. Managing to dislodge the invisible peanut from her throat at last, she stammered out shyly, “The Paranormal Investigation Club, right? T-that's what you decided to call it, right, Ryuga-kun...?” Smiling, her eyes seemed to gleam with enthusiasm at this.

Ryuga nodded at Kyoko with a small smile of his own. “That's right,” he confirmed, then turned to look at Light again. “You see, I've always found myself interested the most in mysteries of any kind. Things that can't be explained, whether supernatural or not.”

_**As someone interested in mysteries that can't be explained, whether supernatural or not...** _

Light clenched his hands into fists under the desk and squeezed them tightly, schooling his features into indifference, mind screaming at them not to reveal a single thing.

**_More than anything I want to explain_ you _, Kira_. _I'm going to expose you._**

No. This could _not_ be happening.

_**You can call me L.** _

Ryuga Hideki, undoubtedly not his real name, had just about said those words outright.

**_I hope we can meet eachother soon_.**

_**I understand he's just moved in from very far away...** _

He knew. Somehow, he knew. Why else would he be insisting that Light join his club? He knew, he knew, he _knew_.

And not only that, but he knew that Light would have to join his club, naturally wanting to keep tabs on his behaviour.

Fine, then. If this was how the game had been set up, then it was time for Light to start playing. Things were getting interesting now, to say the least, and perhaps, he realised, he didn't mind it. This could be fun, if his opponent proved to -

...Opponent?

 _What_ opponent?

Light suddenly felt like laughing. All he had to do was find the best time to kill L! He was right here, wasn't he? This was amazing – L was an idiot after all. He might have somehow figured out he was Kira, but he'd had the good manners to come and show his face in person! Maybe if he hadn't just blown his identity in front of Light's face like that he would have stood a chance. Maybe then it could have been fun.

_How frustrating._

Looks like it would be time to sign up for step-dancing lessons soon.

“I'll consider it, Ryuga, but I don't think I'm that interested.”

The bell rang, signalling the start of lessons again, and Light rose from the desk he was sitting at to leave the room, smiling to himself triumphantly once his face was out of that discerning gaze.

_Goodbye, L. It was fun while it lasted. Everyone's a winner if they try._

–

“Hey, Ryuga.”

Spotting the terrible posture and spiky mop of hair despite the distance, Light called out to the new student from across the school grounds. As he expected, the other soon stopped and turned to look his way.

“Yagami-kun?” Ryuga – _L,_ Light reminded himself again, with both disappointment and triumph – responded, tilting his head.

“I was hoping to talk with you a little more. Is it okay if I walk by you for a little?

–

_Smack._

_Pop!_

_Smack._

_Pop!_

As they had started walking down the street together, Ryuga had taken some bubblegum out of his pocket and started chewing it rather obnoxiously, and the only thing stopping Light from pulling it out every time the other blew out a bubble was the knowledge that very soon, he would be making that irritating sound stop permanently.

Reaching the end of the pavement, Light followed as Ryuga took a turn onto another street, bustling with even more people. Well, wasn't this just perfect? It was almost going to be so easy that the idiot almost had to be doing this on _purpose_.

“You know what, Ryuga?” Light said, smiling and beginning to focus. That familiar burning sensation began, now a thrilling rush of adrenaline that made his skin prickle.

“Yes, Yagami-kun?”

_Pop._

“I think I want to join your club after all.”

Now, it was time for his thoughts to sharpen, to form blades and dig into the chain of commands that was the other's mind; dismantle them and replace them with his own instructions – _Choke. Become mindless and choke –_

He'd make Ryuga choke on the same gum he was chewing right now, blocking his breathing, until he died. This way, his death would never be suspected as a murder, least of all by Kira. It would be humiliating, it would be perfect, just like that asshole deserved.

All that was left was to wait until he heard that tell-tale sound.

_It's been fun, I suppose. Goodbye, then, L, goodbye, goodbye -_

_-_

“Yagami-kun, are you okay?”

_Goodbye. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye! Damn it, how many times do I have to say it until you – WHY are you still alive?!_

He couldn't kill L?

It didn't matter if he didn't know the other's name, he knew that an image; an accurate appearance of the person was all it took to kill, and with that person in the same vicinity with him, it should be even easier to connect. So, then, why – _WHY_ was Ryuga, why was _L,_ still standing and still breathing and _still_ being an insufferable piece of shit right in front of him?!

Light didn't know.

For some reason, some _infuriating_ reason, he couldn't do it.

L wouldn't die, no matter how hard he thought about it. And he had thought _very_ hard.

And now, he'd have to deal with the fine mess he'd just so lovingly arranged for himself.

Light grasped at his knees, panting from the exertion. “I'm sorry, I just – all of a sudden, my head started hurting,” he quickly lied. “I've been having a lot of headaches recently, I... think it has to be exam stress, or something like that. I remembered to bring some aspirin with me, though, so I...”

Light reached into his bag and took out a foil packet of pills, along with some water and quickly took two of them. _Fuck_ , it was hurting worse than he expected. He'd overexerted himself terribly, and all for nothing.

“So, about joining the Paranormal Investigation Club, Yagami-kun?”

_Shit._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case anyone doesn't remember, Kyoko is actually in the series (and has like 2 panels, but she's there)  
> Also holy shit FML I somehow got her name mixed up. I apologize to anybody who read this before I edited it but I originally wrote her name as Touko... so I'm going back and fixing it all now .-.


	8. Dogstar

“If's good fo see we're in full attendanf,” Ryuga announced with his mouth full, perched on a computer chair in the small club room. Holding a bag of sour gummy worms loosely by one hand, he surveyed his membership of two people.

Light winced at the worm heads sticking out of the other's mouth that twitched disturbingly with every nibble. Lectures on table manners from his parents as a child were running through his head at full speed. Luckily, Ryuga decided to finally swallow his mouthful before continuing to speak.

“The Paranormal Investigation Club exists for the purposes of researching, observing, and explaining significantly inexplicable mysteries of the supernatural variety. As of now, it should be no secret as to the mystery most known in the public eye.”

Kyoko, sitting on the floor beside Light, tensed slightly, covering her mouth with a hand. “You don't mean... _Kira?_ ”

Ryuga fished a sugary yellow-blue worm out of the bag and held it between two fingers, dangling it by the head, in front of his face. “That's right,” he said. “Currently, that is the case the club will be dedicated to solving.”

Kyoko's eyes lit up, and she leaned forward slightly. “Hey, I've heard all sorts of stuff about him, you know! Like he can read minds too, and there was this one person who said they'd met him and he said -”

“Rumours won't get us very far, Kaji-san,” Ryuga interrupted. “Besides, I'm all too familiar with most of them myself. Speculation on the nature of Kira's abilities is fine, but it must be founded from something.”

Kyoko frowned and backed down, discouraged. “Ah, I'm sorry, Ryuga-kun...”

Ryuga then turned to look at his other club member, who was clearly trying to mask his fury with indifference. “Does Yagami-kun have anything to contribute to this discussion?”

Light stopped slouching and sat up a little straighter. “All we're going to do in this club is sit and talk?”

Ryuga tilted his head quizzically. “Well, we can eat, too. Would you like a gummy worm, Yagami-kun?”

“I think I'll pa -” “- _I_ want one, Ryuga-kun!”

Ryuga procured a green-pink gummy worm and dropped it into Kyoko's waiting hand with a pleasant smile. She grinned down at it like it was a slip of paper with his phone number written down, and proceeded to squeeze it between her fingers oddly for the continued duration of the briefing instead of eating it.

Light got the idea that she'd probably try and preserve it in a shrine next to blurry creepshot photos and her used tampons later or something.

“I'll make a note,” Ryuga announced suddenly, taking a bright orange notebook patterned with various fruits and sweets wearing cute smiley faces from his bag and flipping it open, then pulling a pen from his pocket and pressing it to paper, scribbling as he spoke. “It's important for there to be a full stock of refreshments next time.”

“More important than making any progress on catching Kira, Ryuga?” Light pointed out, irritated.

“I'm currently working on a document of sorts to gather our current information, and from there we will start. And, by the way, you shouldn't call me Ryuga any more.”

Light blinked in confusion.

“We should decide on code names,” Ryuga explained, biting off the head of the gummy worm he had just been holding rather sadistically.

“Are you serious...?”

Ryuga stared firmly. “Yes, of course. It's important that Kira does not know our identities, after all.”

“Ryuga -”

“ _Ryuzaki_ , please. Furthermore, I'll call you _Light-kun_.”

“But that's my _name_.”

“Would Kira suspect that?”

Light... had no words. “Well -”

“Would _anyone_ suspect that of being _anybody's_ actual name, Japanese or no? Let's be honest with each other here.” Ryuga picked out a new gummy worm and started licking the sugar off.

“Ooh, ooh, Ryuzaki-kun! Can I be _Kayako_? Like Ju-On?” Kyoko cried out, raising her hand sharply.

“Sure.”

“ _She_ gets to choose her name?” Light complained.

Ryuzaki tilted his head. “Is Light-kun upset about that?”

“Well, it's not exactly fair.”

“Alright. Light-kun can choose his codename, but in return, he will have to call me _Sukiyaki_ instead.”

Light tensed, eyes narrowing indignantly. “That's ridiculous, Ryuga.”

“ _Sukiyaki,_ Light-kun. Kira could be with us right at this very moment.”

“I'm not calling you _Sukiyaki!_ ”

“Does Light-kun perhaps not like sukiyaki?” Ryuzaki questioned.

“I like it just fine, I -”

“Are there traumatic childhood experiences involving the dish that I should know about?”

“ _No!_ ”

“Then Light-kun should not have any issue with calling me Sukiyaki.”

“You heard what I said!”

Ryuga gave him a small frown of consolation. “Then It looks like Light-kun shall not be coming up with his own codename.”

“This is just a huge waste of time!”

“Light-kun, you should respect what Sukiyaki-kun has to say. It's important we hide our identities from Kira. He can read minds.”

Light rolled his eyes at Kyoko. “We both know _you're_ only here to try and get in his pants, so don't you even -”

She spluttered, face flushing. “Y-Yagami-kun, don't say something like - “

“Well, if Light-kun isn't happy with being in the club, he could always leave.”

Silence.

Those eyes bored into him, seeing his weakness.

“All I'm saying, _Ryuzaki,_ is that I feel we should be doing something a little more productive.”

“Does Light-kun have any suggestions?”

“Well, for starters, we could be doing like you said earlier and gathering our information on Kira. Why don't we note down a possible profile right now?”

Kyoko's hand shot up. “Ryuzaki-kun! I have an idea!” Adjusting her glasses, the girl dug around inside her school bag and pulled out a large, flat board marked with letters. “We can communicate with Kira's victims, and ask them how he killed them,” she announced, eyes gleaming.

Ryuzaki blinked oddly, and then shook his head. “That's not a good idea, Kayako-san. Rather, I think I'll go with Light-kun's idea for now. As it happens, I have a prospective profile of Kira written down in my notebook right here.” He flipped the pages to somewhere in the middle, and turned the notebook around so that everybody could see it.

The handwriting was a terrible, messy scrawl that took a double-take or two to recognise as actual words.

_**Kira** _

_**Male.** _

_**Possibly Swedish.** _

_**Most likely overweight.** _

_**Age anywhere from 50 upwards.** _

_**Psychic. Perhaps bald.**_

_**Evil. Likes coffee cake.**_

“Oh, I apologize, I should have written it a little clearer.”

Light sighed inwardly.

 


	9. Empire

“Alright, time to take the register.”

Light felt the usual irritation bubbling in his head just hearing that familiar drone. It hadn't taken long to get sick of this after two days. He was finding that imagining Ryuzaki jumping off a cliff every time he opened his mouth was turning out to be rather therapeutic, however.

“Kayako-san.”

“Here!”

Ryuzaki ticked off each name in his notebook as their owners responded.

“Light-kun.”

“Here.” _Unfortunately._

“I believe I myself am here too, although sometimes I do have doubts. Alright, well, I'll count my presence this time, but I can't guarantee its continued remaining.” He made the third and final tick. “And now, it looks like we can begin our investigation once m-”

The door started rattling, hushed shrieks and whispered questions buzzing around from behind it. It soon opened to reveal a group of about fifteen girls from various years, seeming as a whole somewhere between bewildered and purposeful.

“This is the, uh... Paranormal Investigation Club, right?” One of them came forward to ask, but quickly stopped in her place upon spotting Ryuzaki.

It took some egging on from her friends for her to make it any further to continue her question.

-

“So we'd all like to, well... join.”

The crowd of girls had arranged themselves on the floor, suddenly making the small room feel quite claustrophobic. Most were sitting close to Light, several sneaking glances at him every few seconds.

Well, it wasn't hard to guess why they might have made this decision in the first place.

“Alright. I'll have to add your names to our membership list. May I ask what has interested all of you lovely ladies so suddenly?” Ryuzaki asked, surveying the crowd from his perch.

Blank and vaguely repelled faces stared back at him.

“Uh...”

“Well, I guess I kind of like occult stuff...”

“I was bored with my current club.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Various excuses came from the group of girls, and Light mentally kicked himself.

Ryuzaki hummed in vague approval. “Well, I suppose it's time to resume taking the register. I'll have to write all your names down.”

“Won't they need code names too?” Kyoko pointed out.

“That's right, Kayako-san. You see, for the purpose of protecting our identities from Kira, I decided that we all choose codenames.”

“That makes no sense,” a girl with a plait, sitting near the back, complained.

“Au contraire, Charlotte-san.”

“What? You decided what my name is going to be already? That's not fair.”

“Are you from America, Ryuga-kun?” A different girl, wearing purple-rimmed glasses, asked.

“That information is classified, Madeleine-san.”

“Hey, this is stupid. It's not like Kira is in the school.” Another girl, with dyed red hair, grumbled.

“Thinking like that is what shall get you killed, Cherry Bakewell-san.”

“Cherry... What?”

Ryuzaki prodded at his lip. “Well, I was going for a cake theming, but I ran out of ones that sounded like names.”

“I don't want to be a cake. Can I be Jigglypuff?” The shortest girl in the group interrupted.

Madeleine gawked. “You're taking this seriously, Tomoe-chan?!”

“What? I just don't want to be a cake.”

“What's wrong with cake, Jigglypuff-san?” Ryuzaki looked heartbroken.

“If we're all being cake, then I want to be Victoria Sponge.” Another girl said.

“Oh! I want to be... Wait, I don't know any names. Uh... Vanilla...?”

“I want to be Strawberry.”

“Ice cream!”

“Bagel.” One girl said determinedly.

“Bagel? Why do you want to be called Bagel, Yuri...?”

“Well, I was just trying to remember our English food vocab lists... What does it mean again?”

Ryuzaki had long given up on trying to write down all the new names and was simply staring into space. His gaze met with Light's for a second across the room, and in that moment, they shared a mutual look of pain.

-

“So, Light, I heard you joined a new club at school. How is it? Are you all working hard?”

Looking at his father from across the dinner table, Light just about choked on his food.

 

 


	10. Dreaming Your Dreams

“Charlotte-san.”

Ryuzaki, perched on his usual chair, orange patterned notebook in hand, had removed his shoes and was sitting barefoot, earning the disgusted glares of some of the girls in the audience. That is, when they bothered to look at him and not Light.

“Here.”

“Madeleine-san.”

“Here...”

“Victoria-san.”

“Here!”

“Cherry Bakewell-san.”

There was a pause. Ryuzaki raised an eyebrow and sharpened his gaze towards the sulking girl in the corner. “ _Cherry Bakewell-san_.”

“ _Here._ ”

There was another small pause as Ryuzaki blinked at the paper for a second, tapping his pen against his mouth. “Jigglypuff-san appears to be absent today. I hear she is ill.” He then continued, “Alright, Ice cream-san, Strawberry-san, Vanilla-san, Bagel-san.”

There was a resounding “Here!”

“Jelly-san, Cream-san, Pudding-san, and Toffee-san.”

“Here!”

“Kayako-san.”

“Here, Ryuzaki-kun!”

“Light-kun.”

“Here.”

“Alright, that's everybody. And with that out of the way...”

Ryuzaki reached for his school bag and fished around inside. He procured a biscuit tin and placed it down on the table. “I didn't forget the note I made in our first meeting,” he explained, opening up the tin. “Bring a full supply of refreshments, right?”

Everybody crowded around the table and peered over. Inside were a batch of delicately iced fairy cakes, each with a glacé cherry positioned on top.

“Ryuzaki-kun, did you make these?” Kyoko asked, taking one. “I didn't know you could bake. That's so cool!”

Some of the other girls took their own, while one or two glanced at Ryuzaki dubiously before their stomachs got the better of them.

“This one is for Cherry Bakewell-san,” Ryuzaki said, picking out the lone different cake from the batch and handing it to the girl. It was, well... A cherry bakewell.

She seethed at him, and he smiled sweetly, before looking back into the tin. “Oh dear. I'm sorry, Light-kun. It seems I didn't make enough. There aren't any left for you.”

“That's... Alright, Ryuzaki,” Light replied, still sitting awkwardly at the back of the room while everybody else was busy crowded round the desk.

But then...

“Yagami-kun! You can have my cake!”

“No, take mine! I ate a lot for lunch!”

“Have mine! Keiko-chan licked hers, don't listen to her!”

“Take mine, Yagami-kun!”

“No, mine! Please!”

The girls all crowded around Light.

L wanted to expose Kira?  _More like he wanted to torture him_ , Light thought acidly as he caught Ryuzaki's knowing, amused eyes on him through the sea of girls.

“Wait, Light-kun,” he said suddenly, and took out another container from his bag.

Ryuzaki walked over towards Light, holding another cupcake. The girls were reluctant to part so he could get through, but soon succumbed to disgust. “Here,” he announced, and handed Light a cupcake with orange icing, sprinkles, and not one, but two cherries sitting on top. “I felt bad for leaving Light-kun out, so I've decided he can have _my_ cake.”

Never before had Light seen so many people so completely ready to commit first-degree murder gathered together in a single room at once.

It was enough to scare _him._

-

 _So, just how am I going to dispose of L_ , Light wondered as the other 'members' of the Yagami Light Investigation Club, as he'd mentally dubbed it, packed once again into the room for another useless session the following day.

_Is this guy even L? He's far too much of an idiot. I suppose he claimed he wanted to figure out how I worked. Maybe that's what he's trying to do, though it turns out he's learning more about what lengths desperate girls will go to in order to have a chance with me._

_But honestly, what if I was wrong?_

_No, there's no mistaking it... He quoted himself almost word-for-word. He indirectly called me Kira._

_Yes, then it's more-or-less confirmed._

_L wants nothing more than to torture me._

“If's nice to see you're all here foday,” Ryuzaki announced, mouth full with something as usual. “I feel like we are making reaf profress fowards the apfrehendinf of the criminal knowfn as Kira.”

A chunk or two flew out of his mouth and hit a girl sitting in the front row, who made an exaggerated noise of disgust and quickly shuffled back.

“Yagami-kun...”

Light felt Victoria Sponge nudge him as Ryuzaki went on, her voice hushed. “Why did you even join this club? Are you just taking pity on him?”

Another girl, Jelly, was also sitting nearby and caught in on their conversation. “I was wondering that too. Ryuga-kun is _really_ weird. Are you seriously his friend?”

“Yeah. Why did you leave your old club? I missed coming in and seeing you every day, you know...” Vanilla whispered.

“Doesn't mean he missed _you_ , Yumi.”

Vanilla shot up to her feet indignantly. “Hey! As if Yagami-kun would even spare a second glance towards _you_ , Kana!”

The girls quickly dissolved into argument, leaving Kyoko awkwardly sitting in the corner. By now, Ryuzaki had stopped talking, and was staring at the scene before him with fascination.

“Yagami-kun, you'd never go out with Keiko, right?” Strawberry grabbed onto Light, who was still sitting down, hands pressed to his temples. He was suffering quite the migraine as a result of all this.

“I'm sorry,” he tried to console them with a small laugh, playing up his pain. “My head's kind of hurting a little right now, so I can't think.”

“I'd like it if you could all stop arguing over Light-kun.”

The noise dissipated at Ryuzaki's words as he began to move in through the crowd towards Light. The girls noticeably backed off as he neared each one of them as if he had the plague, making disgusted faces.

“It's rather annoying, after all, that you haven't already noticed.” Ryuzaki bent down to Light's level beside him.

He was too close, far too close, and getting even closer. Oh god, _why_? Hadn't this guy heard of personal space? Light tried to calm himself, putting on a polite smile and sending it to the girls who were staring at him by now, wondering what the hell was going on.

Until he felt a hand brush the side of his face and cup it softly, turning it away from the crowd of girls.

_Wait, shit, when did he get that close? Wait, why – oh god, no, he couldn't possibly be -_

There was an unholy shriek from all the girls in the room as right in front of them, they saw Ryuzaki pull the other's face towards his in order to briefly brush their lips together.

For a moment, everything was uncomfortably still and silent.

Ryuzaki soon pulled away from a thoroughly traumatized Light. “He's with me.”

The room finally exploded.

“WHAT?” Jelly cried out.

“Yagami-kun, are you really...?”

“You like HIM?”

“You can't be serious!”

“I DID think it was weird why you suddenly joined this club! I knew it!”

The exasperated, shocked comments just kept on coming, and Light sat in the middle of all of them, flopping about helplessly like a fish out of water.

“You all noticed how I got him that cupcake with two cherries on top. If you can't recognise true love when you see it, then I don't know what to say,” Ryuzaki told them, as if he was commenting on the weather.

Light remembered how he had thrown it in the bin the second he'd left the club room. Small victories, he supposed.

Or perhaps just spite.

_Yes. Definitely spite._

“I... I can't believe it... I'm leaving.”

Victoria Sponge headed for the exit.

Awkwardly looking at Light, then to Ryuzaki, Charlotte and Jigglypuff soon followed. One by one, the girls piled out of the room, leaving only Kyoko, who was standing there alone, eyes wide. Her arms were wrapped around herself and she shook, the beginnings of tears stinging at her face. “I... I'm sorry for not noticing earlier, Ryuga-kun, I...”

She slowly picked up her bag, still shaking. “I'm sorry for bothering you!” Kyoko cried out at last, and ran towards the exit of the room.

The slam of the door resounded around the room as she left, but Ryuga didn't so much as look back. Calmly, he sauntered back over to his chair and sat down. “Well, looks like that got rid of them.”

“Ryuga, what the hell?!” Light got up from where he had been sitting.

“ _Ryuzaki,_ Light-kun.” He'd turned to his laptop, placed on the desk near to his computer chair, and was already tapping at the keys.

“Enough with that already!”

“Have we hit the first bump in our relationship?”

“You were _serious_?”

“God, no.”

A _huge_ weight lifted off of Light's chest.

“I don't care if you just used that as a tactic to get rid of them, the fact is, they're going to tell everyone, and who knows how long it will take me to get them to forget about it! _Do you understand?_ ”

“Hmm.”

“ _Do_ you, Ryuga?”

“Yes. I understand, but I don't particularly care. Have fun reversing the coming-out story.”

That was about all it took.

Light grabbed the back of the chair and spun it round wildly, taking in that deliciously shocked look plastered suddenly all over the other's normally-stoic face, and proceeded to punch it in.

As Ryuzaki clattered off the chair in a very satisfying manner, Light stood over him, leaning down to grab at the front of his shirt.

“How about now?” He spat.

The other's skinny body trembled for a second, and Ryuzaki tilted his head, an odd expression that was almost a smile now on his face. “That hurt, you know,” he said, raising a hand to his now-bloody nose with fascination.

Light's fist clenched. “I didn't aim to disappoint.”

“Well, in that case, Light-kun...”

Ryuzaki twisted.

Blinding pain struck Light in the face as the other swung his body into the air and slammed into him. Colours tore across his field of vision as he flew across the room, head hitting the ground with a thud.  
Light quickly rolled and sat up to see Ryuzaki already standing there in front of him, looking down with that unblinking stare.

“An eye for an eye.”

Light shuffled, growling, and prepared to get to his feet and strike back, but the bell rang, dissipating his thoughts. By the time he'd got up, the other was already gone.

 


	11. Blackout

The next day, Light entered the club room to find nobody there. After looking around carefully behind the desk and at the ceiling just to make sure Ryuzaki wasn't secretly the Grudge, he decided to dig around the place just in case he'd find anything belonging to the other that he could use to his advantage. He found a sheet of paper inside the drawers at the desk. It was rather crumpled, with a few cake crumbs stuck to the corner. At the top, in Ryuzaki's messy scrawl made with a black pen, was the title _Kira Suspicion Levels._

As Light unfurled the page, a terrible, unmistakable stench hit him in the face.

The black ink the note had been written in was, in fact, black liquorice-scented gel pen.  
Ugh. Nobody liked those! Either Ryuzaki had written in it on purpose to gross out anybody who would find the note, or he was in the world's miniscule population of people who actually _did_ like it.  
In which case, it would seem Light's theory that L had been put on this planet for the sole purpose of pissing him off had another point to its credibility.

Light placed a hand over his nose as he smoothed the page out with the other one and read it. On it was written the names of everybody who had ever been in the club, along with various comments. He picked out some of them as he skim-read the list.

_**Kayako-san – Likelihood of being Kira: 5%** _

_**Madeleine-san – Inquired about my nationality. Likelihood of being accomplice of Kira is roughly 30%.** _

_**Jelly-san – Likelihood of being Kira: 84%. She likes coffee cake. I saw her eat it for lunch the other day. Cannot be a coincidence.** _

_**Cherry Bakewell-san – Likelihood of being Kira: 40%. I don't trust her.** _

_**Light-kun – Likelihood of being Kira: 1%. No chance whatsoever.** _

_**An additional 99% goes to anybody found to have read this note without my knowledge.** _

_Funny, L. Funny,_ Light thought to himself as he crumpled up the note and tossed back where it came from.

-

When preparing to leave and start walking home later that day, Light glimpsed a familiar mop of black hair heading round the corner of the school building a good distance across from him. Curious, Light decided to follow and see what was going on.

Standing by the wall, voices could be heard from behind it.

“You... wanted to talk to me about something, Ryuga-kun?”

It was Kyoko.

“I already know that you and Yagami-kun are -”

“Kaji-san,” Ryuga cut her off. “we're not together. I only did that so those girls would leave the club. They were bothering him a lot. And me too, to be completely honest.”

“You're... You mean it, Ryuga-kun?”

There was a rustling as Ryuzaki took something from his bag and presented it to her. It was something wrapped in a strawberry-printed pink napkin.

“This is for you.”

It was a fairy cake with wings on top, iced carefully around the edges with silver balls and stars decorating it.

“R-Ryuga-kun...! I-I...”

“I hope that Kaji-san won't be sad anymore.”

“T-Then... does this perhaps mean that Ryuga-kun....”

“I, uh...” Ryuzaki turned around, spotting Light, and instantly looked noticeably relieved. “Oh, hello there, Light-kun.”

Kyoko went bright red. “He was just standing there this entire time?! Y-Yagami-kun, I was about to ask Ryuga-kun something _important!_ ”

“Ah, I apologise for that, Kaji-san,” Light said, putting on a sheepish face. “I was just looking for Ryuga, because I was wondering why club was cancelled,” he lied.

“Sorry about that, Yagami-kun. I know how important apprehending Kira is to you, after all,” Ryuzaki apologized, then turned to Kyoko. “I promise to talk to you tomorrow, Kaji-san.”

She held onto the cupcake with a suspicious frown as the two of them walked off together.

-

“It's nice that you did that for her, Ryuzaki.”

The autumn sky was already dark as they left school and headed down the pavement outside.

“Hmm,” replied Ryuzaki, not really paying attention. He seemed more interested in watching the cars passing by on the road beside them.

The two of them soon approached the crossing, and he stopped in place. “Light-kun, I want to cross the road. There's a new sweet shop there that's just opened.”

Standing at the crossing side by side, cars were still zooming by. The scent of damp from the rain earlier in the day clung to the ground and hung in the air pervasively. Light glanced at the other standing beside him as they waited for the signal to change, noticing him staring at the brownish slush of fallen leaves chewed up by people walking, spread out on the nearby pavement and the road.

The glow of the traffic lights illuminated Ryuzaki's pale face, but did not reflect inside his eyes.

“How do you think Kira kills, Light-kun?” Ryuzaki looked up from the ground and turned to face him.

Light averted his gaze and closed his eyes. “I wouldn't know. You can't listen to what all the rumours say. It remains a mystery, doesn't it?”

“That's true. It's always tempting to believe in those kinds of things. But it's interesting, don't you think?”

A bright blue car came speeding down the road.

Light opened his eyes and turned to Ryuzaki in order to reply to him, but the other was no longer standing there. Confused, Light started to turn around.

Hands shoved him from behind, hard, and the green of the traffic lights streaked across his eyes as he flew into the road, only barely catching sight of the blue car speeding towards him and the driver inside it.

Light's mind burst into blaze. Pain spread from his head, through every nerve, vision dizzying and registering nothing but red, _red_ splattered against a car window.

The vehicle skidded with its driver gone, and there was the shriek of brakes as other cars stopped behind it.

The last thing that registered to Light before his consciousness lost to the excruciating pain burning up his entire body was his head slamming down onto the concrete.

 


	12. Steal You Away

**Mysterious death of Tokyo killer.**

**Death of killer, body still not found.**

_That had been all he needed._

_That IP had returned for the second round._

_And with that case making the headlines – a known murderer killed mysteriously, no body found –_ intact, _anyway - nothing else but a knife supposed to have been in his possession at the time on the scene.  
__It was hard to shake the idea that Kira had been assaulted by the murderer when walking alone, was attacked unexpectedly, and somehow lashed out. The directions of the blood-splatters had made it seem like the man had exploded internally somehow. The chunks of his body were not cut up with any blade._

_The location of that murder, combined with the location L had found when analysing that particular IP...._

_With a good amount of inelegant Google Street View stalking later, as well as considering information on when the event was supposed to have taken place... It all pointed towards the picture that Kira, whom he had already decided must be a student, had been walking home when he was assaulted._

_It had been satisfying to finally have a name and face to put to the anonymous image of Kira._

_Yagami Light._

_And once he'd found him, all there would be left to do would be to confirm his theory on Kira's abilities with a little use of the scientific method._

_A repeat simulation test._

-

_**Kira caught on camera? Traffic cameras show disturbing death!** _

_**Man explodes in car mysteriously!** _

_**Could Kira really be this young high-school student from Tokyo?** _

_**Kira, psychic killer, seen in action at last! Mysterious death of former serial killer solved?** _

Huddled in a ball on a seat in the dark, the glow radiating from the network of monitors that illuminated the ghost of a figure curled oddly on top of the computer chair was the only thing that made his slight form visible to the world.  
Each screen displayed a different recent news article, each more sensationalized than the last.

Reaching into the box of _extremely special_ limited edition Sweet Pumpkin pocky next to the keyboard, it occurred to him, as it seemed to tend to at a time like this, that he was forgetting something.

There was a faint jingle, and L turned around in his chair slowly.

L watched as the other in the corner of the room slowly came to, groaning and raising a hand to his undoubtedly-aching head. His dulled brown eyes were slowly opening, slowly taking in their surroundings. They flickered to the metal ring locked in place around his wrist, and widened.  
There was another, fiercer jingle as Light pulled his arm forward, discovering that the cuff was attached to a long chain, which in turn was attached by the other cuff to the freezing radiator he was positioned against.  
He cried out in surprise, quickly looking up to the source of the glow that shone out in the dark room. “ _You_ -”

“Me."

“Ugh...”

It seemed that that minor angry outburst was enough to deplete all his energy, because Light quickly grasped at his head again, eyes shut tightly. The sheen of sweat shining on his face was highlighted by the haze of the monitors' glow from where it reached him in the corner of the room.  
After a few minutes, his eyes slowly opened again, this time looking at the floor. They noticed a small something that had been sitting there in front of him since he had been relocated there. It was a pastry in a foil cup topped with white icing and a single glacé cherry positioned in the middle, staring up at him against the white like a freaky red eyeball.

“Kira-kun, eat your cherry bakewell.”

Light's face whipped up, glaring indignantly.

L tilted his head for a moment and placed a hand against his mouth, making himself appear as if he was deep in thought. “Well, I know that _I'm_ always rather hungry after being shoved into moving traffic.”

There was another wild jangle of the chain as Light burst with anger again at that, trying to get up, but quickly fell back down with a wince of pain.

“No, I know that your brain must be quite tired now after that. Am I correct?”

There was a hiss from the corner of the room, a sharpened gaze.

“It looks like I am. Now, eat your cherry bakewell.”

“ _L._ ”

There was a crunch as L tried to eat two pumpkin pocky sticks at once. Chewing ensued, as well as some awkward brushing away of crumbs from the baggy plain white shirt that he was now wearing. Having to wear a school uniform, with all its rough creases and tie (which he'd quickly given up on after a few days) had been rather uncomfortable, and he was more than glad to be back in his usual clothes.  
After a little while, he finally looked back over at the corner, blinking a little. Light was looking at him with vague confusion, and had been ever since L opened his mouth. While pretending to be a high-school student, L had made his voice sound younger intentionally, and had now gone back to his regular one. “Wait, where were we again? Ah yes, you were declaring the twelfth letter of the English alphabet quite menacingly.”

Light growled.

“By the way,” L added, absentmindedly chomping on another stick of pocky, “There are painkillers inside of it.”

Light ate his cherry bakewell.

He sat slumped there for quite a while after that, eyes shut tight again, breaths deep and laboured. It seemed like it was taking a lot out of him just to stay conscious. L waited, watching, taking note of every minuscule motion the other made. Eventually, as the painkillers finally set in, Light forced himself to sit up and opened his eyes again, glaring daggers.

_If looks could kill, and he most likely wants them to right now._

“Where am I?” Light was quick to demand.

L tapped a pocky stick against his mouth, looking up at the ceiling. “Oh yes, here comes the first big W. _Where._ Well, I'll answer you, Kira-kun, as fully as possible. You are inside an abandoned flat of my residence since some five years ago when I came here to observe a haunting case. Lovely place, as you can see. I do hope it's not too chilly. You can't exactly call it a holiday home.”

Light was about to open his mouth again, but was interrupted.

“And now for your _Why,_ the second big W.” Holding four pocky sticks between both hands, L had arranged them into a makeshift letter W, but was soon unable to resist the temptation of biting the top off one of them.

Light didn't quite appear to be seeing the funny side.

“As looking at any of these articles here can tell you, Kira-kun,” L continued, popping one of the sticks in his mouth, “Your identity is out to the public. The entire country, no, the entire _world_ is currently out there searching for you.”

The other's eyes narrowed, and there was a pause before he replied. “So you've achieved one of your goals now.”

“But not the other yet. Kira-kun catches on fast.” The next two sticks quickly vanished.

Light grimaced.

“Yes, you're correct,” L added, “I still intend to figure out how you work. So, I suppose you'll be enjoying temporary cohabitation with me until then.”

“That's an awfully nice way to say _kidnapping_.”

“Nobody's perfect, Kira-kun.” The last stick went out with a _crunch._

“And how exactly do you plan on going about figuring me out, _L?_ ” Light asked with a scoff.

“I suppose it would be... Observation, hypothesis, and testing. It's all part of science, Kira-kun.”

“Including being handcuffed to a radiator?”

“Science,” insisted L.

“You made me kill an innocent person.”

“You intended to kill an innocent person.”

Light gave a dramaticized pause. “Oh. You were talking about _yourself._ ”

“The lack of sanitary furniture is making Kira-kun testy.”

“I suppose you might have a point with doing this, though,” Light mused, lifting up his cuffed hand and jingling the chain. “After all, I _am_ partial to the idea of attempting to kill you with my bare hands right now.”

“I'm very glad that we've become such good friends with each other, Kira-kun.”

“Stop it.”

L tilted his head. “Stop what, Kira-kun?”

“Calling me that!”

L paused.

Slowly, he got down from his chair, feeling Light's seething gaze on him as he walked closer to the corner of the room where the other was sitting. L crouched down in front of him, placing a thumb to his mouth, and leaned in slightly.

“I remember it quite well, you know.” He saw Light's breath catch in his chest, his throat quiver as he tried to move backwards, but there was no more space to do so. “You trying to kill me, _Kira_ -kun.”

Sharp eyes flashed, incensed, and L could see the other straining, undoubtedly trying to kill him again. A gasp of pain soon followed, and Light gripped onto his head again tightly with a growl.

“You know, Kira-kun, there's something I'm going to let myself admit right now.” L paused for a moment. “I made a mistake in judgement.”

Light looked back up at him again, now paying full attention.

“You should have been able to do it. Isn't that right?”

The other's eyes narrowed indignantly.

“If that hadn't been the case, you wouldn't have even attempted it. You wouldn't have revealed the nature of your ability to me so openly. You wouldn't have asked to join the club so suddenly,” L continued. “I thought that you wouldn't be able to kill me. And you knew I made that mistake. I underestimated you, Kira.”

Silence hung between the two of them for a moment, before L went on again.

“Not only that, but you tried again, just now. And you couldn't do it. You looked confused, just like back then.”

L lowered his raised knees in order to kneel down, drawing in even nearer, close enough to see the other's expression tremble. “Why couldn't you do it, Kira?”

“You're asking me like I _know_.”

“Hmm. I wasn't really asking you. I was asking myself. Because that's what I need to find out. It's the next step into understanding how you work.”

“And it's also because you're mad that you fell for my bluff, L.”

L paused, pressing his lips together, gripping his knee a little harder. “Yet here I am, still alive, still unable to be killed by you. How unfortunate for Kira-kun indeed,” he returned frostily.

“Believe me,” Light spat, “I'd love to know the reason why too.”

“I'm sure you would.” L leaned a little further back. “But you might want to hold off on your attempts at killing me at least for now, because those were the last tablets of aspirin in your packet that I just gave you.”

He then got up, turning around and leaving Light, heading over to the exit of the room where a rack was standing. There was an old winter coat and a ratty, moth-eaten scarf hanging from it, which he took down and started to put on. L made sure to pull up the hood of his coat and wrap the scarf around the lower half of his face. “I'm just popping out to the shop now,” he announced to the far corner of the room. “I've run out of special Halloween edition pumpkin pocky. Oh, and I suppose mass murderers need to eat too.”

“There's no way you can have any money,” scoffed Light. “You're stealing all this stuff.”

L tilted his head whimsically, slipping on some shoes with a grimace. “I'm the one who's supposed to be pondering the mysteries here.”

“I thought you were supposed to be selling ice cream.”

“Don't be ridiculous. I would probably drink the entire squeezy bottle of strawberry sauce and throw up on some unsuspecting child.”

L approached the door, then turned to Light for a moment. “You might have noticed the rusty butter knife sitting on the window sill behind you. The key to your handcuffs is embedded between your lower ribs,” L said calmly, taking out a scalpel from his pocket, to Light's horror, “so if you feel like trying to make an escape then by all means have a stab at it.”

Staring at Light's shocked and speechless face, (though in all fairness it was probably the pun) L grinned and added, “I was just messing with you. Anyway, I'll be going now.”

He heard a groan behind him as he closed the door and stepped outside the apartment.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance for the halfassed and most likely inaccurate explanations for anything involving IP tracing, lol. :P
> 
> How To Make Friends: a guide by L (pretending to be jigsaw is the most important part)


	13. Choke

Dizziness met Light as he slowly awoke, uncomfortably warm, to a faint noise humming in his ears. Dimly, he found himself able to recollect becoming tired due to his headache and falling asleep.

 

_Let's eat some strawberries..._

_With parfait, cakes and daifuku._

_You'll be happy if you eat them all!_

 

The noise grew more clear. It sounded like somebody... singing, perhaps? But, there was only one person who it could possibly be.

Ryuzaki?

 

_Or a bunch of other fruits..._

_Kiwis, sweets, and peaches!_

_I love fruit the most!_

 

Light shuffled his body, and found that it was pressed in on all sides by something vaguely warm and very suffocating. He was lying flat. He opened his eyes slowly, head still pounding.

 

_Or cold ice cream..._

_Put it in the freezer to harden,_

_Top it with sauce later!_

_I like all of these..._

 

Darkness was what met him once he did, but he managed to spot a slice of light out of the corner of his eye, in the corner of his vision. Bringing his fingers up towards it, he found a zipper.

 

_I'm a little irresolute,_

_But that's okay, because I'm cute!_

_Just being very sweet..._

_Would leave something to be desired..._

_Put on your favourite topping,_

_If you don't have it, then go shopping!_

 

Pulling it all the way down, Light breathed in deeply as he finally freed himself from the sleeping bag, sitting upright and turning his head in the direction of the desk.

 

_I want something really crunchy,_

_Something sweet and sour would be good too!_

_I'm always hungry for dessert..._

_Let's eat as much as we want!_

 

Ryuzaki was sitting in front of the computer, where Tokyo Mew Mew Episode 12 was playing, currently at the ending song.

He had just been singing along.

_Rather well._

And was frozen just about as still as ice cream right now, with the video paused.

Mew Mint, Mew Zakuro, Mew Lettuce, and Mew Pudding were in the middle of chasing Mew Ichigo, who had broken into running on all fours, ribbon-tied kitty tail flailing behind her.

Slowly, _ever so slowly_ , Ryuzaki, fingers bridged upon his knees, swivelled around in his chair, poker face firmly in place.

The two stared at each other in silence.

Nothing but the sound of the computers' fans running and the dull hum of the generators filled the room. Ryuzaki was as still as a statue, not even his chest rising and falling, not even his eyes twitching or blinking, even minutely.

“Light-kun.”

Light swallowed.

He let at least a full minute, but what felt like longer, pass, before finally allowing himself to attempt to form a response. “Yes?”

Ryuzaki did not respond at first, simply staying still, remaining an unblinking, unbreathing statue. Light's pulse was hammering in his ears, blocking out the fan, blocking out everything.

But still, the other stared and sat. Light shut his eyes, head aching, and now, the thundering of his pulse was all he knew.

“What kind of dessert do you like best?” Ryuzaki asked him.

Light nearly fell over onto his back, eyes snapping open. “I -... what?”

The other merely sat there and waited for his answer.

“I...”

Ryuzaki's eyes narrowed.

“Well, I suppose... I...”

Black eyes bored into him.

“I don't mind..." Light considered it briefly. "Coffee cake, sometimes.”

“Is that so?”

“You think I'm lying?”

“No.” Ryuzaki placed a hand to his mouth, leaning forward in concentration. “In fact, that's exactly what I suspected.”

Light blinked in disbelief. He then remembered something. “Wait. You're telling me you took that random speculation earlier seriously?”

“I do not speculate, Light-kun. I _deduce._ And what's more, I deduce _correctly._ Every single time. Do you know what a chocolate tiffin person looks like, Light-kun? Do you know how they carry themselves? And what about a lemon tart kind of person who enjoys cream topping every once in a while?”

Light had gone back to speechlessness.

“In addition, it's not _your_ favourite dessert. It's _Kira's_ favourite dessert. And as you know, it is vital to be one step ahead of the game.”

“You're just bullshitting me, Ryuzaki.”

The anime streaming website had long been closed, though exactly _when_ Ryuzaki had mysteriously reached his hand around to do so, Light had never noticed, and it was as if it had never been there.

“I wouldn't keep you around if you couldn't tell, Kira-kun.”

It was just one mind-numbingly strange thing after another with Ryuzaki – first apparently faking his age, even though he looked no older than Light himself, and now this.

Light then blinked, remembering what he had been intending to complain about in the first place.  
As he looked down at the sleeping bag, something was chucked in his general direction and landed by his lap, followed by another heavier something which hit him in the chest and just about winded him.

“Whoops. Sorry. By the way, I hope that Kira-kun likes crisps.”

The name was back, to Light's annoyance.

Both shopping bags were full to the brim with various packets of crisps. There were six large bags in total.

“I can't live on these.”

“If I haven't so much as chuckled dismissively at an eatwell plate for five years then I believe you can.”

Light checked the packaging. “Wait... chilli & chocolate flavour? What the hell is this?”

Ryuzaki shrugged. “I essentially consider it a vegetable.”

“Do you at least have anything to _drink?_ ”

L pointed to one of the bags, and Light dug around inside it to find three cartons of strawberry milk. “You only have this?”

“Calcium is important for developing strong bones.”

“Staying dry is important for computers to continue functioning,” Light echoed sweetly.

“Young serial killers still need to grow, too.”

“You don't even have _water?_ ”

“Alright, I have some ice tea in this bag, calm down.”

“Calm down? _Calm down?_ You just attempted to smother me in this thing over here!” He pointed indignantly to the sleeping bag. “When did it even get here?”

“When I got back from the shop.”

Light glared.

“Kira-kun was fast asleep. Or perhaps passed out again from mental exertion. He was also rather cold, as I noticed earlier, so I graciously decided to get him a sleeping bag.”

“And smother him in it.”

“I wouldn't have wanted to wake him up, you see. Any smothering, I can assure you, was only halfway intentional.”

Light was tossed the ice tea, only just managing to prevent it from smacking him in the face. Reluctantly he opened up a bag of crisps, deciding that having a stomach which didn't feel like a pit was the more sensible priority to take at the moment.

He'd move onto the second one he had in mind in just a moment.

“Does Kira-kun need some more aspirin?” L called to his side of the room from the desk.

Light had only just noticed that the former ever-present ache in his head was now completely gone. It was... odd, but he certainly wasn't complaining. Ryuzaki seemed to take his silence for a 'no', and turned back to his computer screens.

“You're so eager to start calling me Kira, but have hardly given me a formal introduction yourself.”

“Kira-kun needs one? I thought he was already quite chuffed at having figured it out on his own.”

Light was tired of trying to talk to the other by now, and decided to just shut up for a while and eat his shitty chilli-chocolate crisps. His future course of action was already decided upon.

-

“This place obviously doesn't have a working bathroom.”

“Ah yes, I was waiting for you to complain about that.” Ryuzaki got up from the desk and headed over to the corner of the room.

Ryuzaki unlocked his own cuff first with a click, and Light took his chance.

He pulled the chain, eliciting a surprised flinch, a moment of weakness, and lashed out as hard as the energy he managed to summon in his exhausted body could allow -  
In a daze, Light registered the chain being grabbed from him, and pain struck him in the chest as he flew across the room. _Wait, why -_

Returning to his senses, Light only just managed to grab the wildly swinging chain and clasp Ryuzaki's cuff back on before they went flying again – collapsing in a heap, Light was the first to grab hold again, yanking the other over and pinning him down.

It was infuriating, looking at that wide-eyed stare underneath him and being unable to do anything about it; unable to kill the life in eyes that already looked dead. Just that face managed to taunt him, somehow - to infuriate him to no end, enough to make his mind want to reach out and take a strangle-hold -

Light couldn't even feel the burning from behind his eyes. There was nothing.

His head had long stopped hurting... But there was nothing. He couldn't feel a thing.

Had his power gone? Had he overexerted it and... somehow lost it?

Light realised his mistake too late as Ryuzaki took the opportunity to reverse their positions while he struggled to figure out what was going on, wrists pinned to either side, chain now loose.

“Kira-kun let his guard down.” Ryuzaki stared down at him, black hair like spidery fingers falling down around his face from above, almost obscuring lightless eyes. “Kira-kun wasn't just after a rematch, right?” He leaned down slightly closer, body pressing Light's against the ground more firmly as his weight shifted. “Kira-kun wants to hear me say it outright. Correct?”

A faint smirk now played at the other's lips, lips which _certainly_ hadn't been oddly soft when -

Forcibly derailing that unwanted train of thought, Light quickly turned his head to the side, hoping to God that infuriating gaze couldn't see how quickly his pulse was racing.  
Because it was true. Ryuzaki, _L_ had seen through him again, like he always somehow did.

_Correct. So that this war between Kira and L stops hiding behind all your bullshitting. So that you acknowledge what you are: my opponent._

And so Light decided he'd make him do it. He smashed their foreheads together with all the strength he could manage, dizzying Ryuzaki for just the right amount of time to reverse their positions again himself. Grabbing hold of the chain and slipping it behind that pale neck, pulling both ends to let them cross over the other's throat, he held both wrists down tightly.  
Light leaned down close, savouring the frustrated shock on L's face. It was his turn to be smirking like a douchebag this time. “Well? Go ahead.” Light yanked the chain, eliciting a strangled choke.

Shock had changed to momentary defeat and now settled into a cold sort of amusement. There was that grin again, the one that told him everything was always a game or, god forbid, an experiment when it came to this infuriating bastard.

“I'm L.” Ryuzaki's voice was a choked, mocking stage whisper.

Light heard it, but found himself angered instead of triumphant, reminded of that infuriating letter on a screen that taunted him so endlessly and made his existence even worse than usual on average for the past week or so.

He gave the chain another violent jerk, but L only smiled, a strange elation lighting up his eyes. “Trying to kill me the old-fashioned way, Kira?”

Part of him wanted to go on, to force that irritating voice to shut up himself -

“You're not going to do it.”

Light scowled. “And what makes you think that, _L?_

“Because Kira doesn't enjoy killing.” L was still, unblinking. “Kira kills, Kira _killed_ , because he was bored.”

 _I was... bored. Bored... No, I... I was_ chosen _for this! But..._

Light bit his lip slightly, not wanting to admit it.

 _'Now things are interesting'. That's what I remember thinking once he, once L showed up. And that's why I can't... that's why I won't...?  
_ _No, he just knows that if I kill him, I'll have no choice but to go back out there alone and face getting caught - Damn it, why...?_

Light's grip on the chain slowly slackened, and he sat up, blank-faced.

He then proceeded to grab Ryuzaki by the shirt and punch him in his stupid face one last time for good measure. “Kira won't hesitate to kill again if you don't actually show him where the fucking bathroom is, though.”

Shaking off the assault, Ryuzaki looked down with amusement at something Light hadn't seemed to have noticed. "For taking care of _which_ problem, exactly?"

"...Let me just correct that, then. _Kira won't hesitate to kill again._ "

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had the cracky headcanon that L knows all the words to the ending song of Tokyo Mew Mew...  
> Also, eatwell plates are like the UK equiv. of a food pyramid or w/e they have in other countries.


	14. Fatal Beating

L looked at the other beside him, who was sitting on a slightly-mouldy chair he'd managed to find in the must-infested kitchen of the apartment. Being chained to Light now meant that he had to be within closer range, and he supposed a little company wasn't so bad either, regardless of said company being a serial killer of questionable homicidal status. When you were L, you couldn't really afford to be choosy with your friends.

It had been a good few hours now since he'd had to lead the other down to the public toilet down the road, preventing about two separate escape attempts in the process. The sky outside was finally beginning to lighten.

“Interesting,” L said. “This article thinks that you're a harbinger of evil sent to bring the world to ruin.”

“I can't read French, so I suppose I'll just take your word for it.”

It was about a kitten born with two tails, but who needed to know that?

Surveying a different screen close to his side, L noticed something interesting all of a sudden and turned to focus his attention on it. It was displaying the Japanese occult board he'd frequented when Kira's location had been confirmed.

**I am Kira.**

It was a topic made by a user whose IP L didn't recognise; certainly not Light's. Blatantly attention-grabbing topic title aside, L found himself interested and decided to have a look.

 _**[KIRA]  
**_ _**Posted 03/10/23** _

_**10/25, 10/26. 10/27.** _

_**The proof will appear.** _

The post was indeed very short, with a huge burst of responses either disbelieving, panicking or worshiping. L did a quick check of other countries' boards, and could not find the same post on them.  
Placing a hand to his mouth, he leaned in and looked closer at the screen. October 25th. That would be tomorrow.

“What are you so focused on now? L.” That tone of resentment in the other's voice was becoming awfully endearing.

L changed the webpage. “Something intriguing,” he replied, “that I may want to look into if anything happens.”

Light raised an eyebrow, but seemed to decide not to press on the matter for now.  
In fact, he was beginning to look rather tired again, despite the short nap earlier. L had long since noticed the beginnings of dark circles under his eyes and signs of tiredness and stress – Light hid it well around others, so it was natural L would act as irritating as possible in order to disrupt that mask - back when he'd been observing him at school. It wasn't such a stretch to think that Light didn't sleep too well thanks to all the mental exertion. This was somebody killing upwards of hundreds of people a week, and considering just six had been a stretch for him at one point, who knew how much he had been pushing himself by the time he worked his way up to that number?

“Kira-kun is sleepy,” L decided to point out.

The other raised his drooping eyelids and perked up almost immediately. “Of course n-” He was cut off by his own yawn, and L grinned in amusement.

“Do I need to carry him to his sleeping bag?”

“No, but you _do_ need to _shut up._ ”

“Perhaps I would take Kira-kun seriously if he looked a little less like a grumpy kitten right now.”

“Perhaps Kira-kun would be willing to fall asleep in the same room as you if you looked a little less like a freaky basement dweller.” However hard he was trying to fight it, however, Light's eyes were closing again of their own accord, and his head soon flopped down on the desk next to the keyboard.

 _This is certainly ideal_ , L thought to himself as he got up from his chair to carefully pick up the other, who now looked like a less grumpy kitten, and carry him to the corner of the room. _Now I'll get a chance to test out my new theory._

He placed the already-fast-asleep Light down on the sleeping bag and then unlocked his own cuff, attaching it again to the radiator. Before getting back up, L caught a glimpse of the other's sleeping face, already surrounded by a very attractive puddle of drool, and couldn't help but grin.

_But I guess I'd better let him sleep for a while first. God knows how much he needs it._

-

Light woke sometime later, unable to recall the last time he'd felt properly rested like this. He was soon shivering in the cold air, however, cursing to find himself placed on the sleeping bag and chained again to the radiator. The room was almost pitch black, and he could hardly see his own hands in front of him – though the silver glinting of the chain-link was easy to pick out. It was clear, then, that he'd been asleep for a long time, since he'd nodded off early in the morning...

He could hear unfamiliar voices behind the thin walls, a rustling at the door.

“I'll go in first,” Light heard from one of them.

A few minutes later, Light heard the door forced open. In the darkness, he could only just make out the figure of somebody walking inside. Backing even closer into his corner, he tensed, hoping that he'd be hidden in the dark and wouldn't be noticed. If things came to the worst, would he be able to kill this stranger and defend himself?

Light saw a flash of steel and stilled himself, holding his breath. That person was right in front of him. Surely he could...

“There's someone here. Don't worry, I'll do it.”

He could hear footsteps nearing the corner.

Light closed his eyes, trying as hard as possible to focus, but nothing was happening. He couldn't feel a thing.

A cold blade pressed against his throat.

He tried again, straining, knowing that if he could just feel that familiar burning, he'd be able to make the other drop dead in a second -

The knife lowered, and his assailant pulled away. Confused, Light turned to look up at the man.

The stranger pulled his hood down. “Happy birthday, Kira-kun.”

Light couldn't see the other's face properly, but that voice was unmistakable. “L!” He yelled. “You -”

“I know it's a bit early but I thought I'd surprise you.” L stared into space oddly for a second, nibbling his thumb thoughtfully. “I'm lying. It's actually _my_ birthday soon, but there isn't anybody to surprise _me,_ even though I'm such a kind and generous person.”

Light glowered. “What the hell was that about? You're trying to take poetic revenge and make _me_ have a heart attack or something? Oh wait, I suppose it's already been thoroughly established that you get a good kick out of torturing me anyway, so there's _that_.”

L crouched down in front of him, and Light could tell even in the darkness that he'd put his usual 'observation' face on. “So it's like I thought.”

“What is?”

“Kira-kun has lost his psychic ability for the time being,” said L, beginning to unravel the thickly wrapped scarf from around his neck. “You aren't displaying any signs of headaches or any other sort of pain from mental exertion like your earlier subsequent attempts to kill me. That means that you can't even access the power inside your head. Is that correct?”

Light remained still, and the other took the opportunity to unlink the cuff from the radiator and place it on his own wrist again after he'd taken his coat off.

He didn't know what to think about this idea of actually communicating with L, of placing a certain level of trust in him in order to cooperate for now.  
But perhaps if he did it, he could get the other to lower his guard. Regardless of anything, Light was powerless at the moment, and unsure of whether his ability would ever come back. If he managed to escape, they wouldn't be able to prove he was Kira, at the very least. For now, figuring out how to do that was the priority.

“It seems so,” Light decided to reply.

L got up, heading for the desk, which meant Light was forced to get himself up and follow.  
There was a hum as L turned on his monitors, a white glow soon bathing the room and illuminating him. After that ordeal, Light was almost glad to see his face, to verify that it was really Ryuzaki there and not some random robber.

“And whether that is indeed the complete story coming from you, Kira-kun, is up to me to now contemplate,” L mused as he sat down in his chair and opened up a box of cake he'd just got.

Sighing, Light sat down in the chair opposite. “What do you even _do,_ aside from sit there and browse Kira articles? You don't exactly need five screens for that, Ryuzaki.”

“It's research, Kira-kun. I need to know what's going on outside here in regards to Kira case news, of course. Normally, I would be looking for paranormal cases that catch my attention, but obviously, I'm rather focused on this one at the moment.”

“Ah yes, only very important, relevant information. Like that matcha Swiss roll baking recipe you have up on that one there?”

“We all have hobbies, Kira-kun. Some happen to be more savoury than others.” said L with an accusing glance.

Light scowled at that, not in the mood for any of this after that bullshit he was just put through.

Unfortunately, the fact that the two of them were now linked by a chain was more of an afterthought that occurred to him once he'd _already_ punched Ryuzaki again and sent him flying off his chair.

-

“Kira-kun is ungrateful.”

Light hissed, not looking the other in the eye as long white hands placed a plaster over a particularly-nasty swelling on his face from the aftermath of their fight.

“I go out of my way to go and get him some plasters out of the kindness of my heart, _lest I point out who started that whole fight_ , and he decides to repay me with the silent treatment.”

Light winced as L stuck on another plaster over a particularly sore spot. “I'm not.”

“You were.”

“Maybe it's just because you seem to have no concept of personal space, Ryuzaki.”

“Oh, so it's not the Hello Kitties?”

L suppressed the urge to grin as Light's face flushed red.

“It is most certainly _not_ the Hello Kitties.”

L admired the cute patterned plasters that now adorned the other's face with a small smile, as well as the grumpy expression underneath them. “Well, I'm glad to know that's the case, because I was worried it might have been.”

Light grumbled under his breath.

L's own face was covered in bruises too, and he'd halfheartedly stuck a plaster or two on it, but aside from cleaning up a bloody nose before going out to buy – er... _acquire_ them in the first place, he hadn't really bothered. It didn't really seem to hurt much, anyway.  
Light was now staring rather intently at one of the monitors on the desk, and L turned to see what he was so fixated on. It was a page where many recent news articles were displayed.

**Kira's reappearance? More mysterious deaths!**

**Three people dead claim Kira was watching, dropping down together! Kira sends a message?**

“The Second Kira,” L mused to himself as he read the titles, instantly thinking back to that post he saw on the occult board yesterday.

“You know something about this?” Light asked, turning to him. “It's what you were interested in yesterday, wasn't it?”

L nodded at him, opening one of the articles and reading it. Three people, criminals from different corners of the globe who had constantly evaded capture, but who were not known to have been affiliated, had mysteriously appeared together in the middle of a square, where they all stood in a line, screaming that Kira was watching them before collapsing and dying at the same time.  
L suspected without a doubt that Light was currently weighing up whether to risk attempting to escape and find this new Kira. What Light didn't know, however, was that this person had used that name intentionally, not calling themselves a Second Kira, but _Kira.  
_ While IP evidence had been scrambled, the fact that the Second Kira had posted only on a Japanese Kira site suggested that their location could also be Japan. If true, it was entirely possible that the two would be able to meet.

He suddenly remembered M-ko, the girl who had claimed people died when she thought of them long before the Kira case was known to the public, and her desire to 'meet' Kira herself. It was true that he'd denounced M-ko as deluded, but this second Kira had shown the proof of their power clear as day...

It was the only lead L currently had, and he was prepared to follow it. He would wait for tomorrow, the second date that the post mentioned, and see what pattern would unfold.

But... whether to reveal about this situation to Light or not? The other would undoubtedly want to find this second Kira just as much as L did, and perhaps L could use that to his advantage, convincing him to combine their efforts...  
He would just have to make sure that under any circumstances, the two Kiras would never form an alliance. Well, L had already succeeded in pissing off one mass-murderer to an inhuman extent, so surely he could manage it, right?

“Light-kun,” L said, knowing the use of the other's real name would make him more cooperative, “I'll show you what I saw. You might find it interesting too.”

 


	15. We Are In Control

For once, Light found he was feeling rather warm and comfortable. He smiled to himself unconsciously, burrowing further into the source of the heat, not having to deal with any head-splitting migraines or annoying Latin letters.

Latin. The Latin letter that particular word started with was the most annoying of them all. _larvae res dulces amant._  
Wait, when did he know Latin? Apparently now. When you were a genius it was just too difficult to keep up with your numerous hidden talents. Perhaps he'd soon discover a natural-born ability at table football.

Somebody just poked him. At least, it felt like it. That was rather rude of them. However, Light managed to ignore it, happy to continue drifting in the unusual warmth he was enveloped in.

Until it happened again. The warmth was slipping away quite rapidly as his mind began to awaken, and he desperately tried to cling on to the remnants of blissful sleep in vain.

Poke.

Poke.

Poke.

Light's eyes slowly opened to the cold grey of the afternoon, and a hollow black stare gazing back at him. He jumped up, nearly knocking off the coat that had been placed over his body, which was lying on the sleeping bag. “ _What was I saying about personal space?_ ” Light reprimanded, backing away as far as he could. There was a _click_ as Ryuzaki unlocked the other cuff from the radiator and put it on himself as usual.

“Good afternoon, Light-kun. It seems you slept well. Here's breakfast,” he said, halfheartedly tossing a packet of chilli chocolate crisps at Light's lap and then dragging him off to their desk to sit down.

“Ugh,” Light grumbled. He'd been in the same clothes since he was brought here, and they felt disgusting, still covered in sweat and blood from the fight yesterday. He made a mental note to tell the other to get him something else to wear soon. _And_ to make sure it wasn't completely terrible.

Light remembered how he'd agreed to work with Ryuzaki on finding the Second Kira, acting like he'd put his animosity towards the other behind him. It was going to be a chore to pretend to be his friend again, but it would surely drop his guard, even just a little, and allow Light an avenue for escape if all went well.  
He had little doubt that this Second Kira was trying to get his attention. Light still didn't know if his own ability would ever come back, and so if he could convince them into working with him, he could finally start changing the world again while having no chance of being caught himself.

“Light-kun looks very intense when he is contemplating an inner monologue.”

Light was shaken out of his thoughts, jumping and quickly composing himself. Surely he hadn't been glowering _that_ deeply? Wait, he was glowering in the first place? God damn it, he never knew he did that. Well, now he just felt silly.

“Oh, don't mind that, Ryuzaki,” Light said nonchalantly, putting on a fake smile. “So, any news from the Second Kira?”

“Yes. That's why I woke you, in fact. Look at this,” Ryuzaki told him, pointing to one of the monitors.

Sure enough, it was a recent news article, announcing the deaths of three more people in the same spot, same time.

“They're obviously trying to get across something about that particular place," Light commented, reading intently. "The Second Kira must want to try and draw Kira -”

“ _You_.”

“- ...So anyway -”

“Just in case you forgot about it or anything.”

“ _Unnecessary comments aside_ , the Second Kira must want to try and draw Kira to that place.”

“One thing I haven't quite decided on is what I'm going to do once I find that person. Well, aside from keep Light-kun firmly away from them.”

“Well, that will be part of the plan we're trying to come up with right now.”

“Plan. Ah yes. I suppose we will need one.” L, holding a bag of jelly babies, reached inside and took three out: one cherry, one lemon, and one orange. He pushed the keyboard to one side and placed down the lemon jelly baby in the middle. “Alright, so the Second Kira is here. Only three dates were given, so I at least suppose that they will be waiting there somewhere for you on the third. Or, perhaps they have been there on each day. We don't know.” He placed a finger to his mouth contemplatively.  
“One thing to note is that the nature of this Kira's abilities seems different to yours. Both sets of murders are supposed to have taken place at the exact same time, on the second. In addition, it can only be said that the Second Kira has the ability to control or to influence people before they die. My guess would be that the Second Kira communicated, perhaps telepathically, with victims before death. Lastly, it is not known whether the two Kiras' exact ability to kill is the same. I have my own theories, but I'm sure Light-kun wouldn't be all too happy to start telling me everything he knows about his psychic ability.”

Light was rather interested in the differences between his and the other Kira's power too. He hoped the third instance would provide him with some more evidence.

“So, I suppose Light-kun will survey the area, making sure to have his face hidden of course,” L said, placing the cherry jellly baby somewhere on the edge of the scene.

“While you do what you do best, Ryuzaki, and stalk me?”

“Once again, rather impolite usage of my words. Also, you didn't wait for me to put down the orange jelly baby.”

“You're making this look a little complicated for such a simple plan.”

“Well, to be honest, I just wanted to make use of the jelly babies.” Ryuzaki was staring at them rather intently, nibbling at a finger.

“...You can eat them now.”

With that, he was quick to pop all three in his mouth with a smile. How old _was_ this guy?

“Oh, and if the Second Kira insists that you prove yourself, I can always pretend to drop dead on cue.”

“It won't work if they point out a specific person they want.”

“I know. Just saying.”

“But I don't mind if you want to try that for real right now.”

Light got a red jelly baby shoved in his mouth for his efforts.

-

Just one day left. Tomorrow would hopefully be the day.

The screen was covered with pictures of her perfect Kira; pictures that no one else had even found yet. It was enough to stare for now. It was enough to simply stare and sigh, imagining what he would be like in person.

Tomorrow would be the day Misa would finally find out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I suggest you don't try and translate that Latin if you don't want spoilers, lololol.


	16. Salt

“Agent Flake, time to get into position. Over.”

“I'm not going along with that stupid codename thing again.”

“You are to address me as Mr Whippy. Over.”

Light sent a tired glance to the other, who was no more than 2 feet away. The scent of sugar and chocolate, trapped inside the scarf pulled up to his nose and hood covering his head, was like a faint reminder that L was still with him even if they weren't attached by chains anymore. Whatever the case, Light was glad to be out in the fresh air again, even if the must of that apartment still clung to his clothing.

The area where the Second Kira's third victims had dropped down dead was sectioned off and being investigated by police. Sure enough, there had been three more criminals who had walked over and died in the same spot, claiming Kira was watching. Despite it naturally being the most suspicious area, Light knew it would be stupid to risk going too close – the search for him was undoubtedly still out there. His father was probably flipping the fuck out. Even with the hood and scarf he could still be recognised.

There was a photoshoot going on close to a nearby chocolate shop that had been opened recently, from the looks of things. Naturally, L was now hovering as inconspicuously close as possible, slowly lagging even further behind Light as they walked. He'd spotted somebody outside the chocolate shop giving out free samples and seemed to be rather busy.  
Light walked past the photoshoot, vaguely noticing the blonde-haired model dressed up in a fluffy brown-white Angelic Pretty dress with matching accessories to fit the shop they were near to. He recognised her face from magazines Sayu was always reading, but hadn't particularly cared to learn her name.  
The model caught his eyes and her smile froze. Ignoring the complaints of the photographers, she instantly demanded her manager for a break, making a small motion for Light to come over and then bounded off towards a fountain off the set, round the corner.

Even if it was just to tell this girl he wasn't interested in getting her phone number, it was still a good excuse to get away from his enemy. Light took a glance behind him before heading off. Ryuzaki was still busy harrassing the samples salesperson. He hadn't noticed that Light was gone yet.

-

Amane Misa. Now that he'd heard it again, it was familiar. The girl was bouncing up and down happily, fluffy dress flouncing everywhere.

“Misa never thought Kira would be this cute!”

Light froze, trying to process what he had just heard. “Wait – you're saying that _you're_ -”

“Don't hide your cute face up like that!” Misa chided, pouting. “Misa knows you're probably in hiding and all but c'mon, let her see, just a little...” She reached to try and pull down his scarf, but he grabbed her wrist, preventing her from doing so.

“Stop it. We need to talk properly.”

Misa puffed her cheeks out childishly, curled pigtails bouncing as she put her hands on her hips. “But Kiiiiira -”

“And don't call me that.”

She beamed. “Okay. Misa knows your name anyway. It's so cool! Light, but written with the kanji for -”

 _God, not this crap again._ It was times like this that Light remembered how his name was legitimately picked out of the dictionary by a drunken friend of his mother (who was _also_ stone cold pissed) two months into the pregnancy, and supposed he should have been glad he didn't end up named some more unfortunate English word. What was alphabetically closest to Light? Liger? Ligament? Now that was a terrible thought, but at least no one would want to date a guy named fucking Ligament.

Well, except maybe this girl. Something... _persistent_ in her eyes just gave him the creeps - unless it was those unnaturally wide circle lenses.

Light made sure to speak in hushed tones. “Yes, okay, but to the point. We are both psychic killers -”

Misa giggled, placing her hands on his shoulders. “Okay, but to the point, Misa is single.”

Light blinked. He really wasn't entirely surprised. “Is... that seriously the only reason you wanted to draw me out?”

“Well... Misa always did kinda want to meet the other Kira running around, but when you were all over the news and she found out who you were... Come on, of course Misa had to find you!”

“So... yes, I suppose.” _Sigh._ “Alright, I have a bit of explaining to do before we're on the same page here. I'll make it as quick as possible.”

-

Misa was seething, eyes dark with anger. “L found you first? It was his fault that your identity was exposed? He stalked you at school?! Misa will KILL him!”

Light couldn't help but smile. It was nice to hear that. Maybe even a little tingly.

“Yes, and while we _will_ get to that part a little later, for reasons I already told you, I need your help.”

Misa, it had just occurred to him, was... odd. It was unfortunate for Light to consider it, seeing as he'd always felt like he gained the ability because he was meant to have it. But Misa was just some girl with no big aspirations or anything, with a similar psychic ability. It was hard to believe that he was chosen or special now. And if L's theory was to be believed, this girl had her power before Light got his own.

“Misa-Misa, break time's over! Come back to the shoot!”

Misa flinched suddenly, looking up at the sky. A raindrop was rolling down her cheek, and soon more followed, a heavy downpour soon cascading around them.

“Ah, the weather report said nothing about this. We'll have to cancel...”

As Misa pulled him away, Light spotted Ryuzaki. He'd been hiding nearby, listening in, but as he tried to get closer, he was blocked by Misa's manager.

“Ah, get that creepy guy away!” She yelled. “Stalker-san, Misa's not accepting autographs!”

Light smirked triumphantly at that defeated face as he turned and walked away arm-in-arm with the Second Kira.

-

 _Yagami Light, confirmed piece of shit,_ L thought to himself as he stuffed four coffee-dusted white chocolates into his mouth at once rather angrily.

No, this was his own fault for being so careless. But there had been a sale. A sale! Not that that really mattered, because he had no actual money anyway, but... Okay, that was absolutely no excuse. He'd been careless, goddamnit. And he would punish this abominable lapse in judgement with a couple more vanilla fudges.

The screens in front of him were full of information he'd pulled up on the model girl, Amane Misa, the Second Kira, who he'd seen walk off with Light.

It was time to do some research.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's because L is... salty >U>


	17. Until Tomorrow

The apartment had an odd metallic scent that was hard to place. At least on the surface, it was certainly clean – but underneath it lingered the impression that somewhere, in the cracks, there was an embedded sort of filth that the pervading aroma of perfume, pressing in close enough to cling on couldn't hope to blot out.

It was when Light regained consciousness, feeling bedcovers against his skin, that he placed it. Blurred vision made out the patch of red against white that a single touch revealed as a tissue. Under the pounding of his own head, he dimly registered the points of long nails scraping across his skin; the soft, fragrant hands they belonged to stroking tenderly through his hair as if they wanted to try and soothe the remnants of his headache and make it go away.  
Managing through the pain to turn onto his back, the admiring, half-lidded gaze from the girl regarding Light from above like a twistedly loving goddess came as a jerk to reality.

"Morning," the girl, who now registered under the name  _Misa_  in Light's mind – though he couldn't remember much else about her – giggled, stopping the stroking and instead cradling his face in her hands. Light blinked back a pinprick of trepidation; sharp black fake nails lingering only slightly too close to his eyes.

"Misa's Kira looks cute when he's sleepy."

Kira. Yes, that much was easy to remember – this made the confusion clear somewhat. Everything else seemed like a blur, trapped under a heady rosy haze that was impossible to sift through. But there would be more time to sort that out later once he'd figured out what this crazy girl was after and how she somehow knew his identity.

Misa smiled sweetly. "Don't you remember what happened?" As soon as she said that, a recollection surfaced through the fog as if commanded by her words. A vague memory of falling and hitting his head, with the girl above him racing over to help him appeared in Light's mind, and though something about it felt... off, it was all he had to go on at the moment. Besides, something told Light it wouldn't be good to start doubting her about this.

"Misa helped you when that happened. And... because Misa didn't want anybody to find out who you were, she brought you back here." Misa winked playfully. "Though there's a bit more to it than that."

Light started trying to sit back up as his energy returned, head still a little fuzzy. He could tell there was a lie somewhere, but didn't let the suspicion show on his face, and waited to see if she would explain further.

"Promise not to tell anyone, 'kay?" Misa placed a finger to her mouth coyly, then leaned in close, whispering. "Misa is Kira too."

Light froze.

"And Misa wants to help. Her Kira might not know right now, but he can't use his power at the moment. Misa doesn't know why, but she's willing to take over for him." Misa's wide eyes gleamed. "Misa will kill L."

Light narrowed his eyes questioningly at her. "If I couldn't do it, then what makes you think  _you_ can?

Misa giggled carelessly. "Misa doesn't think she can. Misa  _knows_  she can. And she has just one condition for her Kira if he wants her help." She grinned widely. "Kira has to be her boyfriend!"

There was already something very wrong, something unsettling about this girl, even though she had supposedly helped him.

Misa must have sensed his apprehension, and leaned in close again, placing her hands on Light's shoulders. "Don't worry if you're still thinking about one of those girls from your school or something," She smiled placatingly, crossing her legs on the bed and tilting her head to the side. Her eyes seemed as wide as a doll's, covered with impossibly blue circle lenses and outlined with heavy mascara. "because they're all dead."

Silence fell between them.

"So there's no need for you to choose."

Light knew that if he tried to escape in his current state of apparent powerlessness - as she had claimed - it would only get worse. Much worse. As much as he hated the thought, his only option right now was to play along.

Light forced a smile onto his face in order to seem docile, swallowing the sudden lump of panic that had risen in his throat. "Of course."

"So Misa is your girlfriend now, _right?_ "

Her suddenly-sweetened voice became like a lure with these words, somehow impossible to deny or reason with. The edges of Light's vision were swirling with that same heady daze clouding his judgement; the edges of the other's porcelain features softening, blurring underneath it. "Mm," he mumbled in response dumbly, unable to think, unable to scream at himself like he would have if he'd been in control of what he was doing.

"Yay!" Misa launched herself at Light, squeezing the ever-loving life out of him as if he was one of the many plushies she had lying around. "You know, some of them were pretty hard to track down, but it was all worth it!"

The haze cleared somewhat, and Light shuddered suddenly as he remembered what was happening. This subject needed changing, fast. "You claimed you're Kira too. But how can you kill L without knowing his face? If your power is anything like mine, then you shouldn't be able to."

"Misa saw him," Misa said, pouting. "Remember?" Light's last memory seemed suddenly clearer now. He'd been pushed into traffic by someone – Ryuga – no,  _L_  – and blacked out. Misa must have found him then.

"Misa's power doesn't work _exactly_ like her Kira's. There are a few little differences," she continued cryptically. Light didn't like it. "You could say it's a bit more _personal._ "

"What do you mean?" Unconsciously, he'd tried to move away as far as possible from her.

"Misa's Kira will see soon."

Light noticed Misa's hand rustling underneath her petticoat too late, because quick as lightning, she whipped something out.

A needleprick stabbed into his back, and Light protested too late as his head began to dull again and his vision faded into darkness.

* * *

Castle walls of white chocolate truffles, expertly stacked on top of each other, surrounded the keyboard and rose high around the arrangement of monitors delicately.

L was depressed, and when he was depressed, he always ended up losing his appetite.

And so the stash of chocolate he'd squirrelled away today in order to cheer himself up after depleting the hoard from yesterday had turned out as nothing more than food for his idle brain as it stagnated in lack of progress.

Setting down the last chocolate atop the last tower, L sighed and looked back at his screen, placing his now-taskless hand to his mouth.

Turning up information on the model Amane Misa was proving difficult. Up until around a year ago, she seemed to have no history whatsoever. She had to have been using a stage name, because no records at any schools of anyone with that name could be found. It had been easy enough, at least, to find out her flat's location from tag data in pictures she'd taken of herself and shared online, but it wasn't much consolation. L had already taken one risk too many with the first Kira, and by some amazing stroke of luck, it hadn't cost him his life.

That wound still stung.

There was no such thing as being too cautious with the second – L wasn't willing to risk getting too close this time, especially since he already knew that the abilities of both Kiras differed from eachother.

This feeling of frustration wasn't one he was very accustomed to.

Perhaps it would be best to look at things from another perspective and focus on his initial suspect for the Second Kira – M-ko. All he had for her was a location - which Misa's didn't match - and the date she deactivated her account.

L recalled something.

 **[Yukimenoko]** , another user on M-ko's friend list who had claimed to know her IRL and backed her up, claiming she wasn't lying.

He checked her account history on the occult board. Her last post had been a year ago, but she had an email address listed on her profile. For now, it was his only hope.

* * *

"Misa becomes a little voice in the back of someone's mind that tells them Kira's always watching."

Dawn was glowing from behind the curtains. The digital clock on the nightstand read 6:00 A.M.

"She slowly builds up enough influence, and then they bend to her desires..."

Misa was resting peacefully against his side and whispering into his ear, face as guiltless as an angel, grip as fierce as a boa constrictor.

Light might have been able to interpret the gesture as affectionate, or even  _loving_  -

"And then Misa makes their life a living nightmare."

\- if he hadn't woken to find himself tightly bound and muted with duct tape. Strangely, it didn't feel like the first time he'd been knocked out and woke up in some stranger's flat.

It was likely that Misa had been asleep for a little while earlier, as her lenses were placed in a case on the nightstand next to the clock.

As they gazed deeply into his, Light saw that the girl's black eyes held no reflection.

* * *

**Yuki:**

**What? You want to know about Mitsuko? She told me she was going to kill herself. They still haven't found her after all this time. I honestly wanted to forget about her. She's probably dead, hell if I know!**

L had tried pressing the girl further on the matter, and she refused to answer. But, he'd gotten somewhere. Researching news articles from around the time M-ko deactivated her account had led him to a solid clue.

**Parents of Tokyo girl die mysteriously.**

**Akane Shoko. 36, and Akane Shinji, 38, were found dead outside their home on Sunday. The two were found at the foot of their apartment building, where their shoes were left on the roof. There was no note left behind.**

**Their room was found in disarray, with strange scrawlings covering the walls. While the former of the two was known to have a history of mental health issues, including not taking her prescribed medication, residents of the complex reported that both of the pair had been acting strangely weeks prior to their suicide.**

**The daughter of the couple, Akane Mitsuko, is reported missing. It is unknown at this moment why she may have disappeared.**

**Below: Mitsuko, 17, still reported missing.**

L studied the photo of the girl with shoulder-length brown hair and a tacky smile. She was rather pretty, with a long blunt-cut fringe.

She was rather familiar, too.

Just to make sure of himself, L pulled up a series of pictures on his other screens for comparison, and just about split his face grinning as everything fell into place.

The model Amane Misa had no history until a month following this incident... and just so happened to look exactly like this lovely missing girl here.

 _The second Kira can control people to a great extent before they die,_ L remembered as he chewed on his thumb intently, staring at the screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yandere!misa, yay .u. well, she's somewhat of one in canon, what with that whole 'I'll kill any other girl if I see you with her' line. I always thought that aspect of her character was pretty wasted and it would have been interesting if it ended up making her unpredictable and causing unforeseen problems for light/the keikaku down the line. when I first drafted the story she was a lot milder but I ended up feeling the misa parts lacked impact so I went back and edited it (despite how much I just wanted to be done by then ;A;)


	18. Visible Noise

Her Kira was finally asleep.

Misa smiled as she heard the other's breathing become slow at last, opening her eyes and sitting up. She had work to do soon, but first, she could at least afford to steal a glance or two at her new boyfriend. She was convinced that now, after this little problem was solved, everything would finally be okay. She would be okay, and she would be, most importantly,  _happy_.

Misa could tell that her Kira's sleep wasn't an easy one. Judging by the look on his face, he'd been quite unhappy to finally fall into the clutches of biological necessity. It had been the same for her ever since she'd realised her ability, too, and she wanted nothing more than to calm those nightmares away.

Misa let her hand slide through silky hair admittedly and annoyingly more perfect than her own. "I love you," she whispered by his ear, leaving kiss after kiss anywhere that could receive it, locking her Kira in a tight embrace. "I love you," she repeated, squeezing tighter. " _I love you, I love you,_ _ **I love you.**_  Never leave Misa alone.  _Never leave..._ " She suddenly jerked as some instinct inside her flared up after saying those words.

_But what if Misa's Kira leaves?_

Misa pressed against him as hard as possible. Were his bones going to break? What a silly thought. Her Kira was a god. No, her Kira was  _God_ , and he was going to make everything alright.

Misa slowly let go, realising that there wasn't any time to be wasting. There would be plenty of time to truly make her Kira aware that he belonged to her later, after she proved herself by getting rid of the final thing standing between their happiness. It didn't matter that her Kira didn't love her yet. He would soon – she'd make sure of it.

Due to the drug she'd injected earlier, her Kira wouldn't wake till later. He now seemed somewhat distressed, mumbling in his sleep and rolling onto his side. Misa frowned and gave him another little kiss on the cheek, hoping it would help.

"Time to go trick or treating," Misa whispered softly, picking up her phone in order to glance at the date displayed, and grinned.

"Let's eat some strawberries..."

Misa whipped round, wide-eyed, to Light, still sleeping beside her and now faintly singing in his sleep.

"With parfait, cakes, and daifuku..."

Double-taking and blinking in horror, she slowly began to shuffle away.

* * *

L really never thought he'd have to admit it, but here it was.

There was a bad time for sugar.

He'd pulled the wrapper off a ghost-shaped lollipop with his teeth, surveying the hoard of grotesque-looking sweets around his desk with a somewhat more lukewarm reception than usual. Mountains of candy corn, gummy eyeballs and spiders, all surrounding a dark chocolate layered cake in the middle, and normally he'd have been more than happy to see it all there.

Today was always the exception to his formerly seemingly-constant boredom, mainly because of the obvious excuse of being able to surround himself in even more sweets than usual, but also because limited edition pumpkin flavoured things tasted amazing.

But, looking at the empty corner of the room, L had felt nothing close to excitement despite himself.

In the back of his mind, he knew that maybe, just this one time, he'd been looking forward to not being alone on his birthday for once.

Then, his head had begun to ache; vision blurring, forcing L to curl into himself closer, gripping his knees tight as words painted themselves inside his head maliciously.

**happy haLLoween**

The words, bright red, wouldn't leave his vision, as if written onto his eyes in permanent marker.

**happy haLLoween!**

A voice punctuated it with a giggle this time, an exaggerated, syrupy voice sweeter than all the candies in the room. Even though it was obviously being put on as a disguise, L knew already the true identity of the person speaking to him.

**are you having fun?**

L grit his teeth, steeling his willpower, and retorted back inside his mind:  _Kira...!_

**oooh, you have a Lot of sweets there! been trick-or-treating?**

L narrowed his eyes. _I get it, you know I'm L. Now, if you're going to make me hallucinate your words, please use proper grammar. I'm having war flashbacks about my Latin teacher._

The words were no longer showing in front of his eyes.  **Actually, my Kira just said he wasn't going to help me translate anymore... God damn it. He can really be such a drama queen.**

L rolled his eyes.  _Tell me about it._

**But he's** **_my_ ** **drama queen, and you're going back six feet under where you belong. Kisses, sweetie.**

_So you_ can _kill me? Aren't you going to do it?_

 **Oooh, those look really good. Why don't you have one?**  The Second Kira trilled.

There was a jolt of pain inside his head, and L's right arm twitched – with horror, he realised it was threatening to move by itself, and fought with all he had to keep it in place.

**C'mon. Don't you want a cupcake? I like the ones with the little bats on them.**

There was another jolt that dragged out a cry of pain, and L's arm broke free of his will, reaching out and grabbing the packet of cupcakes, then opening it.

 _Death by choking?_ He questioned.

**Happy birthday! Nice present, right? Do you like it?**

To his surprise, however, L didn't choke, and managed to eat the cupcake - though it seemed it had been a distraction tactic, because in the middle of doing so, L felt his body unfolding and leaving the chair of its own accord, and no matter how hard he tried to push that influence snickering in the back of his mind, he couldn't stop himself from getting up.

**Just a joke.**

Though resisting with every inch of his mind, L left the room, hearing the patter of rain starting up outside as he drew nearer to the exit of the apartment building.

**Your present's actually coerced suicide. I hope no one already got you one!**

L's eyes widened in horror, but he couldn't do anything about it – he was already walking up to the roof of the building, the Second Kira's taunting laughter echoing around inside his mind. Forced outside, the unforgiving rain began to drench his body, drops rolling down his face.

**Hey, L. You always made a pretty big deal about supernatural incidents like ghosts, right?**

L refused to answer, and a shot of pain raced through his head, nearly making him fall off the edge of the stairs.

The Second Kira continued. **I know a bit about all that stuff too. I bet I know some stuff that even you don't.**

_Chatty, aren't you._

**Most spirits are just lonely people who know they're dead and get all depressed about it, thinking they can't move onto the next life, or are really angry about something that happened but are**   **unable**   **to get revenge for it.**

_And I suppose I should just take it for a given that you have your sources on this, Second Kira-san?_

**You could say.**

L was nearing the top, hair and clothing soaked through.

**Nobody can even see them, unless somebody really wants to. Unless somebody remembers.**

**Meanwhile, some deluded little souls can go on for a long time still attached to this world, never knowing they left it. That's pretty interesting, huh? But they'll end up like the first kind if you nudge them along a little bit, if you burst their bubble and break the news that the funeral cake was pretty damn good.**

Walking up like this, he got the strange feeling that he'd finally started to remember what he'd been doing all this time that he had somehow forgotten about. An unsettling sense of deja vu that clenched in his chest with every step further.

**But, wanna know what all ghosts have in common?**

**They don't remember who they are. Not really. Sure, you can remember things about yourself, or whatever it is you were so determined to stay living for.**

**And there's just one little thing that does the trick. That makes everything come back.**

Reaching the roof at last, L was surprised to find that he wasn't alone there - standing in the middle, veiled by the shimmering rain, stood two figures.  
Forcibly, he was pulled forward, schooling his face into indifference as he drew in to meet the First and Second Kiras.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'I am so tired of people obsessing about Halloween in August,' I thought to myself as I wrote a fic since the beginning of that month that centers around Halloween.


	19. If I Survive

It felt like a long time since he'd last come face-to-face with Ryuzaki.

Through the haze of the rain, the dull white of his shirt managed to stand out, a target for Light's eyes to latch onto as his familiar enemy was forced to approach them. Light noticed his face was bruised, with kiddy plasters slapped over them carelessly, and somehow thought he remembered being the cause of it.

_Why does it hurt to look at him again?_

The plasters were falling off because of the rain, and Ryuzaki was starting to pick at them. He was looking over at Light, eyes softened in a way that somehow made that delicate,  _nostalgic_  pain even worse, and -  
Everything suddenly dulled as Misa turned to him.  **Be quiet** , something at the back of Light's mind suddenly snapped, and his scattering thoughts felt compelled to obey it.  **There's no reason for Misa's Kira to feel pain when you have her. So long as you stay with Misa, nothing will hurt anymore.** It was true that he felt unable to leave her side, as if bound by a red chain. Nothing except her presence, her love, was able to register whenever she looked his way, and there was no longer any room for complaint.

"So," Misa began, now speaking out loud, in that sugary sweet tone of hers. They were both shaded beneath a black parasol adorned with lace, keeping her elegant, bell-shaped dress pristine despite the rain. Her clothes were as dark as the sky behind them, as monochrome as somebody dressed for a funeral.

"L-kun, Misa wants you to see if you can answer a little question for her."

Light could feel that accusing gaze on him again, unnerving as always even in the face of death.

Misa's eyes were hidden beneath a dark net veil on her head, painted lips curled into a smile as she asked simply, "What's your name?"

Ryuzaki froze. He seemed to swallow, fingers fidgeting subconsciously before he placed a thumb to his mouth, the habit Light knew he would descend to when in deep thought.  
He was chewing it now, eyes wide all of a sudden. "My... name," Ryuzaki echoed, voice thin. Misa tilted her head, waiting.

"My name..." He was frozen still in place. "My name."

Misa continued smiling her angelic smile. "You can't remember it?"

Slowly, Ryuzaki began to shake. "I can't... I..."

"Hmm?" She pressed.

"Why can't I... Why..." His voice was wavering painfully, and Light couldn't help but stare. He wasn't sure what was going on.

"You're the detective, why don't you do the explaining?" Misa questioned.

Ryuzaki then gripped his head tightly, almost doubling over from how violently he was jittering. "My name. My name is... My name, my name,  _my name..._ " His voice was frantic, wracked with desperate confusion.

Light was just as confused. "You... can't remember your own name, Ryuzaki...?"

 **_Quiet._ ** **It'll be over soon.**

"Don't –  _don't call me that,_  it's not my –" L snapped. "What is my...  ** _why can't I remember my name?!_** " Almost as quickly as this outburst finished, however, his hands dropped to his sides limply, eyes wide open in a thousand-yard stare.  
Slowly, silently, Ryuzaki stopped shaking and straightened back out. He moved through the rain, walking away from the two of them until he stopped right on the edge of the roof over at the other side.

Misa was smiling to herself, and Light couldn't see any sign of strain on her face, meaning that she wasn't controlling L right now. What was going on?

"Ryuzaki!" It was instinct to call out upon seeing this, even if Light knew he should be jumping for joy at the prospect of seeing his enemy dangerously close to jumping off a building. Somehow, the rose-tinted haze around his mind that strengthened whenever Misa spoke had been dented momentarily.  
He could see L mumbling something to himself, stringy hair plastered to his scalp and shoulders by the pounding rain. The noise was swallowed up inside it, and Light moved closer, calling out that name again.

Misa remained where she was standing, and Light braced himself as the rain hit him, soaking his body.

**He'll be gone soon. Say goodbye if you like, I suppose.**

" _I ..e. ..o Light-ku.. co...n't ..ll .. bec..se..._ " Light could only make out bits and pieces of what the other was saying, and continued walking closer, stopping just in front of the ghostly figure at the edge.

L's rain-soaked face turned to face him, bearing an odd smile. "My shoes. So that's where I left them." Light blinked for a moment, before looking down to the other's feet. He wasn't wearing any, as usual, but...

Sitting at the edge of the roof of the building were a pair of ratty, weathered old trainers.

L was looking at Light now, with those reflectionless eyes. "I felt like I was forgetting something, you know." He was smiling with a childish sort of wonder, with amazement; the expression of somebody who had finally figured out a difficult puzzle all on their own after being frustrated over it for so long. "I always felt like I forgot what I was doing all of a sudden." The smile that shouldn't have been there twitched, hiding the horror of unwelcome realizations. "Who knew that what I was doing was, in fact... being...  _dead._  What a thing to distract yourself from."

Light stared blankly as he slowly tried to figure out what he was looking at, L letting out a short laugh as he undoubtedly saw his eyes widening.

Making an odd choking noise, L then dropped down to his knees limply. He was looking down at the ground, far down below, off the edge of the roof, where the city below was shining. It was a while before Light heard him speak up again softly.

"I was bored, too, Light-kun."

There was another pause.

 _Kira kills, Kira_ killed, _because he was_   _ **bored**_ **.** _ **..**_

Light swallowed uncomfortably, confusion not lifting in the slightest.

"That's what I remember now," L continued, head bowing down, letting drenched hair hide away his face. "when I stand in this place, that frame of mind I was in comes back to me. Boredom. I felt like... I hadn't found my purpose, or had no purpose. That nothing could possibly come along which would take away this feeling. That no matter how far I searched, there would just be nothing waiting for me. Nothing but boredom. It was something along those lines."  
There was a small pause as L seemed to come to another realization, letting out a short laugh. "Ah, yes – that's right, now..." He tilted his head, shaking fingers clenching the ground. " _That's_  what I decided. The one thing that could pose any interest to me at the time. To understand what absolutely nobody alive possibly could. Death...  _Death,_  as a solution to boredom... "

Locked-away memories were fluttering behind a door, threatening to break free. Something was keeping them sealed there every time Light was on the verge of remembering, but sometimes something would slip through – something faint; a few words, the smell of sugar, the feeling of a cuff around his wrist, a sharp kick to the face.  
Raindrops had stopped falling on Ryuzaki's body – they dropped through, as if he wasn't there. He almost seemed to be glowing now, barely able to be seen through the rain covering up his translucent features. "Death must have been... uneventful. I must have... I still wanted... to find something that could interest me. I still wanted to find some sort of purpose for myself. And that... must have been what kept me here. How fortunate that I was bored enough to stay here and entertain you."

There was the clop of platform mary-janes as Misa took her place beside Light, jeering down at Ryuzaki. "But now, there's no reason for you to stay here, is there? Because you've lost. Looks like it's time to leave, _L,_ " She mocked.

"No... reason. No reason... that's... somewhat true, isn't it?" L gave another odd little laugh. Before he began shaking, hunching over and gripping the ground hard, slight body barely visible.

A ghost that has merely no purpose. That lingers, invisible to everything. A ghost without a purpose, kept in spirit only by the unfortunate fact of not knowing their own name...

"This is really quite surprising," Misa remarked. "Do you really think that somebody cares enough to remember you? Your purpose for staying here is gone.  _Something's_  keeping you here, L-kun. Maybe you're more remarkable than Misa originally thought, hmm?" She scowled. "So maybe we need to really get it _into your head_  that  _nobody_  wants you here."

The edge of her painted lips quirked up, and a strangled scream tore through the air. Light flinched at the sudden outburst, wondering what Misa could possibly be showing him that would cause such a reaction - it was difficult to place, but something about seeing Ryuzaki like this was... scary. He didn't want to look.

Another scream, and Misa was grinning ear-to-ear. Through the rain, that stark form could only barely be seen, stringy hair obscuring the pain on his face. "Is that so...?" Ryuzaki coughed out, voice faint.

Misa cocked her head. "Even your voice still works? How interesting. Now, time to get back in the grave, it's past your lifetime."

"Is there nothing keeping me here... Akane Mitsuko-san?"

She froze.

Light saw her face twitch behind the veil, saw her grip on the parasol shake. Steeling herself, Misa held onto it again as tightly as possible, but her fingers were still shaking. "...No."  
Misa quivered. "I... no, that... that's not my name, I..." Still shaking, she bit back a noise in her throat for a second, but was unable to stop herself as she lost her composure at last and shrieked, "Akane Mitsuko is dead! Kira killed Mitsuko! Kira killed her!"

The parasol dropped to the ground as she lost control, and Misa grasped at her head, screaming.

"You have a habit of leading people to jump off of buildings, don't you, Akane-san?' L accused.

Light stared silently at Misa, who was sobbing in furious rage, mascara torn down her face from the rain.

"I... I.." Misa dropped down. "They had to die... They had to...! I was PROTECTING myself! I-I couldn't c-come home every day and - " she cried out, holding herself tightly. "I'm... I'm Amane Misa now! I'm going to continue living! I'm g-going to -"

But she saw with her own eyes as the golden spirals of her ponytails started fading away at the ends, followed by the tips of her fingers, spreading further and faster with each passing second. "Light!" Misa pleaded, thrusting out her hand towards him. "Please! Don't you love me? Don't you need me here?!"  **STAY! STAY WITH ME!**

Her influence was fading fast and Light quickly stepped back, swallowing, but she crawled with all her might towards him, grabbing on. They toppled over, splashing in the rain, and she held him tightly despite his protesting, her eyes glinting with frenzy. "Please... if you need me here, I'll stay... I need you...! You need Misa, don't you?!"  **STAY! YOU NEED MISA, YOU LOVE MISA -**

The door burst open at last, and memories flooded his mind like a typhoon all at once.

_M-ko. Second Kira. Making a plan. Jelly babies. Smirking victoriously, only to black out in the car, blood dribbling from his ears, as he went away with Misa..._

"...No." Light spat.

"No...?" Misa froze. Slowly, she smiled again, removing one of her arms from around Light and reaching it up her skirt, gazing serenely. "Alright. If that's the truth, then..."  **You can't escape. You're** _ **mine.**_  Misa revealed a blade from underneath her petticoat. " _Misa's Kira will be coming with her._ " Light panicked, prepared to fight back -

The knife dropped from her grip and landed on the ground.

**No...!**

Misa's lightless eyes widened in despair as she faded into nothingness, only the parasol and the blade left behind where they had been discarded to signify that she had ever been there.

The space left between the remaining two now felt like a void, filled by falling raindrops. Pulse still racing from that attempted attack, it took a few moments for Light to properly calm down and adjust as he sorted out what had really happened, free of the rosy distraction of false memories. Everything he had heard previously was making sense. Everything was clear again.

"Light-kun."

Light could only just see the faded black against pale white that the rain still worked at wearing away. Looking at it again, looking at L with everything now returned to him, the numb pit of frustration and hate from before regaining his memories had sifted away, leaving only that inexplicable, unrelenting pain. He quickly got back up from where he had been thrown down, shivering with cold and disgust.

"So that's why I couldn't kill you, L."

"If I die again, so will you." L said flatly.

Light blinked, then narrowed his eyes. "In case you can't tell, I'm still alive, Ryuzaki, and I'm not planning on being the next one off that roof any time soon."

The other tilted his head, that telltale gesture of when he'd figured out everything and was very pleased with himself about it. "Light-kun  _died_ too, and the day he started living again was the day he killed Otoharada Kurou."

 _We... were both dead? We both... did we use each other in order to continue living? No, to_ start _living... Is that what you're trying to say, L?_

_That... that's a lie. It's a lie. It's just another lie from you. Nothing else._

"Just... just go! You were dead from the beginning! As far as I know, my power is gone, so what do  _you_  have left?!" Light argued, even though he knew he was faltering. He knew he was slowly falling.

L still had his back to him, but his smile could be heard. "Believe it or not, I stopped caring about Kira a long time ago."

"You're dead! Go back where you belong, and eventually, I'll become Kira again! What will you do, come back and haunt me?! You decided yourself that you have no purpose left, Ryuzaki!" Light knew he was grasping at straws, that he was contradicting himself, making no sense -

"No purpose? But I just realised it."

A pale hand grabbed at his ankle, followed by another. Ryuzaki's faintly-visible body managed to lift himself up to his knees, despite the shaking, as he slowly turned around. A dark bundle of hair pressed into Light's stomach, followed by arms wrapping round his back. That smile could be felt against the material of his shirt, plastered by rain to his skin.

"Light-kun is what keeps me here," L murmured against him.

Light gaped, barely able to think of a response, but by the time he had, all that was left of that cursed body had vanished away into the freezing air.


	20. Hooligan Spirit

"I don't want to go."

The two older children busy harassing the small boy didn't seem intent on letting up any time soon.

"Don't be such a wuss, Near," said boy's self-proclaimed friend, Mello, scoffed. "Just because L didn't wanna come with us this time doesn't mean you can back out. Come on, it's your birthday and we went to all the trouble of making you a surprise."

Near, five years old and far too naïve for his own good, frowned in frustration and held Lucy, his sheep plushie, closer.

"That's a lie. L did want to come with us, but he was busy," Near told them, and he knew it was true, but whenever he told people the truth, nobody ever seemed to listen. Even though he'd heard it himself...

"I thought you got told to stop wearing your pyjamas outside already. You're going to get in trouble, you know," Mello's friend Matt, wearing some kind of godawful vest that made Lucy a little nauseous, chided. Near didn't particularly like Mello or his friend Matt, but for some reason L did, even though they were horrible and tall and spiteful and held Lucy for ransom biweekly.

"I don't care," Near said. "If I always wear pyjamas I can fall asleep when I want."

"That's stupid," Mello told him, even though Near could hear his mind saying that he secretly wished he could do something like that. The others started grabbing his arms and tugging him along as they made their way down the path nearby the orphanage.

"Matt, you brought the chocolate, right?" Mello was handed the backpack and proceeded to gorge himself. There was just something about having to deal with stupidly short albinos that made him hungry.

The trio soon approached rusty iron gates leading into the church graveyard that was down the road. It was only natural for Near, who was expecting a surprise hopefully involving lots of new toys rather than headstones, to become a little apprehensive at this. Other children were always daring eachother to go here under the false assumption that the place was haunted.

Whyever would there be a birthday surprise in a place like this? Unassuming, then-innocent Near could not possibly fathom the answer at the time.

"Why are you taking me here? I thought you were going to be giving me a surprise."

"Oh, we are." Mello assured him with a snicker.

Near frowned. "But there's only dead people here."

"We're not going to dig up a body ( _this was the truth),_ stupid. We're going into the church."

"But it's locked so people don't use it anymore, so we're not meant to."

"Just shut up, okay?"

"Ghosts aren't real. L told me."

"Yeah they are. Santa's not real, though."

Near blinked, eyes widening. This would only be the first dent to his innocence today. "He... he's not? But L said..."

"I know, I got it spoiled by some kid older than me when I was little too," Matt grumbled.

They reached the old church building. The front doors were closed up, but there was another entrance around the back – a tower, whose door was always left suspiciously open. Inside it was claustrophobic at first as they filed up the spiral staircase. It was dark until Matt pulled out a flashlight. Then it was only mostly dark, but Near could hardly see anything.

He could hear the others even though they weren't speaking with their mouths.

Minds always spoke, even if nobody else seemed to notice.

**We'll leave him.**

**Yeah,just follow my lead.**

**Honestly, he's so stupid to fall for this.**

He was being tricked?

It became dark again as he realised Matt and Mello had walked on ahead of him and gone up further. Near started running as fast as his short legs could carry him, reaching the top, where the tower seemed to lead into a high-up room of the church. It was completely black, but he could feel the open space when he waved an arm around.

"Mello? Matt?" Near looked around, beginning to panic. "Where have you gone?"

"I want to go back," he called, but there was no answer.

Near tried to hold Lucy closer, but she was gone. Crying out, he dropped down to try and feel if he'd dropped her, but found nothing.

There was a new source of light from ahead. It was faint, and with his poor vision, Near couldn't make out any details. He ran to it to find that the flashlight had been dropped there. Picking it up, he shone it in front of him and continued walking, slowly becoming more scared.

_We'll leave him._

_Yeah,just follow my lead._

_Honestly, he's so stupid to fall for this._

Near remembered what he had heard.

He often enjoyed being alone by himself. He would choose to lock himself up in his room and wouldn't even care if it got dark. It was nice sitting in the dark sometimes. It made him sleepy.  
Most of all, it was quiet. When he was around people, he would always hear what they were saying even if their mouths weren't moving, and it would all pile up in his head at once, making it impossible to think. Near hated it, especially when most of those things were never very nice, and being alone was the only way to get some peace and quiet.  
But now, that feeling of solitude wasn't a comforting one. Alone, knowing nobody really wanted to be friends with him. That they thought he was stupid. Everyone called him stupid, except L, who would try and convince him otherwise, but he found it hard to believe sometimes.

Maybe L secretly thought he was stupid too.

Even though Near had never heard him laugh at him inside his head like he heard from everyone else...

It took a few moments to realise that the echoed sobs resonating around the place were his own, and he didn't even have Lucy to hold on to. Near began to cry, as loud as possible, as if somehow that could solve things quicker.

When he opened his blurry eyes, he saw that it wasn't dark anymore. Standing there was Matt, holding Lucy, and Mello, who must have jumped out to try and surprise him a few seconds ago, but were now just staring guiltily.

Both of them jumped as they heard the sound of footsteps, and quickly hid. Turning around, Near saw somebody standing there by the entrance of the room, someone tall and skinny.

Tall and skinny meant L.

Scrambling up, he ran over as fast as possible, grabbing onto the other even though he didn't even reach his hip yet.

"You both know that if you don't show up right now it'll be even worse," L announced to the dark room, and watched as both sorry culprits quickly came out of the woodwork. He scooped Near up, giving him a tissue to dry his face with and a packet of custard creams for good measure.  
But the only tissue Near needed was being able to glower down at those two from his rightful high position like the traitors they were, sticking his tongue out as Lucy was handed back to him. Served them right.

"Mello," L began. "The usual. All chocolate is under my right of consumption for... oh, let's say a month."

Mello winced, looking down.

"Matt." L reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. "Someone's been ruining their lungs especially early with Q and S round the back of the house every Tuesday. Hmmm..."

Matt jumped, sweating nervously.

"Oh, and you have to trade Near your Mew."

"W...what? It took me a week to get!"

"It took you five minutes to  _gameshark_."

"B-but..."

L tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. That was about all it took.

Near watched both of them as they fled out of the room, tails between their legs... and grinned widely. He felt a hand ruffle his hair.

 **I see you've learned _,_**  Near heard L's mind say.

* * *

"Come on, you always take ages to get over the fence!" Matt complained as Near struggled to climb over, soon helped by L.

"Ghosts aren't real," Near declared as soon as he was back on solid ground.

"Hmm. Well, it's debatable, I'd say." L said.

Near stared, confused. "But you told me that..."

"It applies to lots of things. I'm not closed to the possibility of something convincing me otherwise. You have to keep your beliefs open. It's part of science."

"Hurry up already!" Mello yelled, already halfway down the path. The group soon caught up with eachother, and he turned to Matt. "Chocolate?"

"Yep," his friend replied, patting his backpack.

"Good."

Matt frowned. "Just one thing, though."

Mello sighed. "What?"

"Did we  _have_  to bring B?" Matt complained, glancing towards the wild-haired nightmare currently gleefully gutting a jammie dodger while lagging at the back of the group.

"Did we have to bring bad manners?" Scoffed B, a manic glint appearing in his eyes as he finally pried apart the horrible dusty biscuit casing in order to start chipping at the filling with his tongue in a rather unappealing manner.

It was, the nine-year-old fully assured himself, the manner of a hunter.

Matt, only just slightly squicked, tried to hide his flinch. That little bastard  _smelled_  fear. " _Did_  we?" he whined. Mello grimaced.

"Matt, we've been through this."

"He threatened to cut your hair off in your sleep again?"

That memory was still sore. "N-no!"

"Did he give you a Chinese burn again and make you cry?"

Mello flailed indignantly. "No! This time, he just followed us."

"Actually, you  _all '_ just followed' me," drawled L. "I was going out on my own."

"But does  _he_  have to come too?" Matt whined.

"You know there's no point in protesting it," L sighed.

Matt pouted.  _"_ But  _L..._ "

"Don't you ' _but L_ ' me. You know so long as he has a reasonably-infinite supply of those," L pointed to the packet of jammie dodgers, "He'll be both quiet and contented."

Near frowned, tugging at the other's sleeve to get his attention. "L, you already ate five of them."

L stared far away. "And we're going to hell."

He just about fell over as the nightmare tried to jump him from behind and get on his shoulders. L complied, knowing there was no other option, or he would wake up (It didn't matter how irregular his sleeping was, the little bastard always knew when he did) to find jam smeared inside every single article of clothing he ever owned.

It was one way to learn to stop caring about your wardrobe variety.

B giggled as he sat on his new transportation vehicle, and L grimaced as he felt sticky crumbs begin to accumulate in his hair. Everyone was approaching the graveyard already.

"I'm going to scare the ghost," B announced. "It's gonna be cool."

"You can't scare ghosts, idiot." Mello grumbled.

"I don't really doubt him." L muttered under his breath.

"See?" B grinned proudly. "L thinks I can scare a ghost."

"I _know_ you can scare a ghost."

B laughed, and started flicking down his discarded biscuit crumbs at the back of Near's head.

L sighed. " _B._ "

"What?"

"Stop that."

B rolled his eyes, pausing for a moment, and then started doing it to Mello instead.

L didn't say anything else the rest of the way there.

As they stopped in front of the church, Near bristled all of a sudden. "Something smells."

"Probably you," Mello teased.

"No, it smells like burning."

Everyone sniffed, and L turned around to see streams of smoke rising up over the trees down the road where the orphanage was. His eyes widened. "Who... was on kitchen duty today?"

L surveyed the group of children, but all were silent. He took a deep breath. Everyone slowly turned towards B, who was staring blankly into space.

Faint screams filled the air from the burning wreckage in the distance, and B suddenly blinked. "I left the chips on."

* * *

_The orphanage had burned down that day. Luckily, nearly everyone was evacuated in time, but it was never rebuilt. It didn't have enough money, and so they'd all been sent somewhere else._

_Nearly everyone._

_It was maybe out of homesickness or curiosity that L went out of his way to visit the wreckage a month after running off to try and live on his own. Deciding to revisit that church, perhaps just for old time's sake._

_And that decision would change his life forever._


	21. Can You Hear Me

The rain from yesterday was back in full force. Light heard the pattering of it against the window panes as he quietly slipped down the thankfully-empty school hallway towards that familiar room.

It had taken a lot of effort on his part, but he'd managed to level the blame for Kira's actions onto Misa, claiming that she had been stalking him before the incident in which he was pushed into traffic, and was responsible for killing that driver in order to protect him. He'd claimed he'd been in her apartment since then, which was supported by his old dirty school clothes, still bloodied from that fight with L, being there. Light's questioning was by no means over, but his father had naturally been inclined to believe his son was not a serial killer, making matters of convincing far easier than they should have been.

Going back to school had been less easy. His name had been and still was all over the news, and the torrent of questions from his classmates had been endless. It was finally lunchtime, so he'd quickly headed to the only place he knew nobody would think of coming to harass him.

Oddly, everyone had forgotten about the existence of 'Ryuga'. Light had seen him sitting in his usual place behind his own desk, but his name was never called out.

Light had raised his hand. "You forgot to call Ryuga."

The teacher had stared back at him oddly, followed by the rest of his classmates. "Are you talking about Ryuta-kun? He isn't here anymore."

"But -" Light had said, turning to look behind him. There was no mistake – L was sitting right there. He'd pointed.

"There's... nobody there." Someone had told him. "Yagami-kun, you're not seeing a ghost or something, right?" Everyone laughed.

"He really is crazy!" Someone wailed.

Light had blinked, and then, sure enough, he saw that nobody was sitting there in the desk behind him.

However, something at the back of his mind must have expected to see Ryuzaki as he opened up the door to the old club room and let himself in, because the first thing his eyes were drawn to was a familiar mop of black hair above the turned-away computer chair.

"So you really are still here," Light mused to himself as he closed the door behind him and walked over. That once-present smell of sugar that used to linger in the room had been replaced with the faint scent of mould.

Ryuzaki didn't reply, or move in any way to show that he'd acknowledged Light's words. Irritated at this, he spoke up again. "Hey, Ryuzaki. Still alive?"

Ten seconds passed, and there was no reprimand for that godawful pun. Light placed his hand on the back of the chair and spun it around so the other would be facing him, and stiffened in surprise once he did. L was sitting with his face tucked into his knees, arms hugging his legs. He was faintly shivering, but not otherwise moving, and Light had to strain his eyes slightly to properly see his body, faded and glass-like.

"Ryuzaki." Light called again, but there was no answer. Deciding on the quickest course of action to get a response, he took a deep breath before throwing an attempted punch, only for his fist to miss its target completely. Light made a shocked noise as he went through Ryuzaki's body entirely, waving his hand around in disgust for a moment before quickly recalling it. "I... guess I should have expected that."

To his surprise, however, Ryuzaki took notice at last, jumping and snapping his head back up with a startled flinch. "It's rude to stick your hand into somebody's body without asking, you know."

Light flushed indignantly. "What the hell, Ryuzaki?" Was he a magnet for weird perverts now?

L tilted his head, placing a thumb to his mouth. "All I'm saying, Light-kun, is that the next time you plan on placing your hands inside my body, I would like you to ask permission first," he said, grinning impishly.

Trying to will away the heat from his face, Light spluttered as he tried to think of a response.

The other's form had lost its translucent quality now – it was like he'd been before realising he was dead; a lifelike impression in all but his eyes. "Hey," Ryuzaki asked suddenly, "Are you able to touch me now, Light-kun?"

"Why the hell would I want to after you said that, Ryuzaki?!"

Ryuzaki raised an eyebrow. "Light-kun doesn't want to try and punch me again? That's surprising."

Supposing then that the question was at least worth humouring in the interests of science, Light tentatively reached out his hand towards the other, forcing himself to mirror that ever-present impassivity. His fingers skimmed against a shoulder gingerly, caught by the edges of spidery strands that further, curious touch found to be surprisingly smooth - before Light quickly then removed his hand, suppressing another flash of heat.  
Physical touch was something that was now always too quick to remind him of Misa; of her possessive clinging and and cooing. Just remembering how he'd been careless enough to underestimate the girl and fall into her trap, turned into little more than a puppet, was enough to anger Light instantly. He'd refused hugs from his own family after returning safely home; even a gentle tap from someone was enough to make him flinch.

But this... Light opened his mouth, about to say something ( _some kind of excuse_ ), but hesitated when he noticed that Ryuzaki was now staring at him intently.

There was silence for a few moments, the other remaining unblinking, unmoving, until his lowered, even voice filled the space between them.

"I'm scared."

Light swallowed and narrowed his eyes, confused. "Why?"

Curled into himself and taking up as little space as possible; hugging his knees shakily, wavering on the fringes of visibility, Ryuzaki seemed so fragile as he softly spoke. "I don't want to disappear."

There was a pause.

"Light-kun would have to understand something about spirits first, I suppose."

Light remembered Misa screaming out to him not to let her fade away, something along the lines of that he had to want her to be there in order for her to continue to exist...

Did Ryuzaki also have no control over whether he could stay existing?

The memories of  _his_  screams were still particularly fresh in Light's mind, too. It was hard not to recall them as the other looked at him so resignedly, painfully aware of his impermanence, that the slightest pressure could tip the scale and push him away for good.

"Do I particularly want to hear?"

L blinked. "I may have claimed that my staying here has nothing to do with Kira, but that's not necessarily true. As L, you could say that I still have one more theory to find the conclusion to."

Light was sitting down on the floor now, listening attentively. "Oh?"

"Light-kun's abilities as Kira came to him because he was bored. Akane Mitsuko's abilities as the second Kira – though first chronologically – came to her from trauma, I suspect. I believe that if Light-kun were to become bored again, his psychic ability would return. Furthermore, that is not my theory. Well, not all of it."

"Then what is?"

L looked down for a moment, then softly spoke up again. "Let me ask. Does Light-kun  _want_  me to disappear?"

Light hesitated. Did he?

No. This shouldn't even bear contemplation, should it? What was he doing even considering that the answer could be anything else but  _yes?_ He should have just let this end the first time!

"Of course I do!" Light snapped, bristling. "I just want all this crap to be over with! I can't stand looking at you!"

The room was still in the aftermath of his outburst, and Light saw the other's eyes slowly widen, mouth hanging open slightly in... surprise?

Why would it be a surprise?

"I thought..." Ryuzaki mumbled to himself, normally-flat tone wavering.

"Thought what?" Light jeered.

Ryuzaki pressed his lips together and swallowed, looking down at his knees without a word.

_I was bored too, Light-kun._

Had Ryuzaki maybe...

He spoke up again after a long pause, still not meeting Light's eye. Ryuzaki's voice was strained, and barely able to be heard under the pounding of the rain outside.

"I thought Light-kun needed me too."

Light froze in realization at what he had done, staring as rapidly, the other began to fade away. Regretting his decision too late, Light reached out and tried to shake him, pull him over, do  _something,_ but his hands found no purchase.

"Ryuzaki, come back! Wait...!"

There was nothing in front of him now but an empty chair.

Knowing he was alone, Light drew his knees up to his chest, hugging his legs, and buried his face into them.

* * *

The next day, Light returned.

It wasn't for any reason like he thought Ryuzaki would be there every time he opened the door. It wasn't like he bit back disappointment and  _guilt,_ that sickening pill he refused to swallow every time, upon seeing the room empty.

No, it was just to get away from everyone who still insisted on harassing him.

Light stared blankly at the wall as he sat in Ryuzaki's chair, curled up subconsciously in his position. Glancing at one of the drawers, he got up to fish around in it and found that note he'd crumpled up. It was infuriating just looking at the familiar handwriting, and he tore it into shreds.

When Light heard someone knock on the door he whipped around, wondering who could have found his new hiding place to come and bother him.

It opened, and Kyoko walked in, hands clasped together. "Yagami-kun...?"

Light relaxed. She hadn't been bothering him at all since he returned to school. In fact, she had been keeping away from him, so it seemed. He quickly tried to look composed. "I'm guessing this is about Ryuga, Kaji-san?"

Kyoko nodded, looking down at her feet. "I just wanted to know... what happened to him. He disappeared at the same time you did."

Light turned away from her for a moment, sitting back down and bridging his hands in front of his face. "I'm sorry to tell you, but..."

Kyoko's eyes widened.

"Ryuga's dead."

She gasped, and tears began to roll down her cheeks. "A... are you being serious? Y-Yagami-kun, please don't lie..."

Light closed his eyes and nodded. "It's true, Kaji-san. He's dead. At least, as far as I know."

"It was Kira!" Kyoko shrieked. "I bet it was Kira!" Light jumped slightly at her outburst.

Kyoko removed her glasses in order to wipe at her face with her sleeve. "I already knew Kira was horrible... but now I hate Kira more than anything! I don't even care if Kira kills me, because I'd never want to live in a world where someone evil like that was in charge!" she yelled, and with that, turned and fled from the room, tears streaming down her face.

Light's eyes never left the door for as long as the rest of lunchtime lasted.

* * *

In his defense, Halloween sweets had been on sale.

Taking the packet of candy corn out of his school bag, he placed them down on the table and proceeded to awkwardly sit down.

"Hey, Ryuzaki," Light said aloud as if he wasn't alone in the room. "You like this stuff, right?"

The room was still and silent.

Light huffed. "I went out of my way to get them for you, you know. You could at least have the courtesy to show up."

The silence was grating on him now. Irritated, he ended up opening the packet and popping a candy corn in his mouth just to see how it would taste. It was pretty gross, but Light ended up swallowing it anyway out of needless polite instinct. "Look, I even ate it. But you're still not showing up." He scowled.

 _Kira kills, Kira_ killed, _because he was bored._

_If I die again, so will Light-kun._

"Look, it's...  _boring_  coming here and just sitting here alone, you know."

No response.

"Didn't you hear me? I said it was boring."

Light growled at the continued silence, by now at his last nerve. "Are you even liste-" he cut himself off, hearing something that sounded like loud chewing, and turned to see Ryuzaki sitting on the floor nearby, munching happily on candy corn.

Light stared, aware that his breathing had stopped.

"Light-kun stole my chair."

Ryuzaki stopped chewing for a moment, blinking oddly. "Why does Light-kun look so angry? I'm the one who should be raising a complaint here." He grinned at the candy corn. "How crafty. Light-kun knew there would be something I'd need to form myself physically in order to touch."

Light untensed at this, now confused. "Wait, Ryuzaki. Are... you saying you were here all this time?"

L tilted his head. "Well, partially. If nobody wants you to be there, then you simply won't. Physically, anyway. You just sort of..." He shivered. "Float around aimlessly, dimly aware of your surroundings. I'm lucky to be back."

 _Don't you need me here? Please!_ Misa's face as she faded away flashed through Light's mind.

 _Light-kun is what keeps me here._  Ryuzaki had said it outright... But it was more than that. He knew that without him, Light would be bored... and had the proof right here.

 _I thought Light-kun needed me too._ That was the theory he had been wanting to prove.

 _And it was true,_ Light admitted to himself reluctantly. They needed each other.

Leaving the chair, Light snapped Ryuzaki out of his sugary daze by grabbing him harshly. "You'd better not plan on disappearing again any time soon, since you already know I'll be bored."

L's smile was a knowing one. "I think you know by now that that's your job alone, Light-kun."

There was a satisfying crack as his fist connected with the other's face. Ryuzaki tumbled onto his back, unfazed, simply shrugging it off nonchalantly.

"I just want you to know how mind-numbingly infuriating you are," Light grumbled.

Ryuzaki seemed to take this as a compliment. "I can say with confidence that it's my general goal when interacting with people."

Light pressed a hand against his forehead, frustrated. "Honestly, you... you just -"

L tilted his head.

"Why do you have to be -"

Light's anger dissipated as he noticed the translucent quality the other's body had suddenly taken on, the telltale sign that he was going to fade away.

"What are you...? Wait!"

"I'm sorry, Light-kun," L said sadly as a colourless, watery haze spread over his features, fingertips like silvery shells. "I suppose this will be goodbye."

"Stop that!" Light cried out. "I  _want_ you here, so stop that!"

L grinned, and became fully visible again. "I was only joking with you, I'm not going anywhere," he said as Light seethed indignantly. 

"Oh dear, I think Light-kun is angry. Is he going to punch me agai-"

Ryuzaki was cut off by another mouth silencing his own, which might as well have been a punch for all its roughness.

Now that Light wasn't drenched in rain and chilled to the bone like the last time they had come into any sort of contact, he only just realised how cold the other was, a temperature that conflicted dizzyingly with his own heightened one.  
Quickly, Light pulled away, trying to will away that heat again. This hadn't been meant to happen, that was for certain. He'd messed things up and was now unable to control the situation. Hadn't this merely been a long chain of events that could be described as that? No wonder he was so tired already – tired and frustrated of not being the one in control of what was happening.

Ryuzaki was smiling. That was another thing that wasn't meant to happen. (Smiling a nicely bruised smile - and noticing that was still another.)

"We need each other, Light-kun."

"I know," Light said breathlessly, "and it pisses me off."

He'd chosen this – he'd chosen this over being Kira, over letting himself return to boredom and going back to trying to create world peace in his bedroom for a hobby. Light might have wondered what exactly he was thinking if he didn't already know that right now, he definitely  _wasn't._

"I'm glad," Ryuzaki returned, quick to tug Light back over and leave no more room for words between them. As the scent, and soon the taste of sugar fought to overwhelm him, Light pushed back and claimed them for himself and felt the other grinning knowingly - that their competition had not disappeared, but only found a different form.

"Ugh," Light grumbled abruptly, pulling away. Ryuzaki was doing a very good impression of an annoyed baby panda, obviously wondering what had happened to ruin the moment.

"Candy corn. Gross." The aftertaste had hit.

Rolling his eyes and mumbling something like "Light-kun isn't very romantic," Ryuzaki prodded Light away from him sourly and proceeded to curl into an inconsolable sulk-ball.

Had the two of them not been so very distracted a little while earlier, they might have heard the footsteps outside the door.


	22. Just For Today

Returning home after a long day of being forced to do nothing but think when it had quickly become impossible to do so, Light slumped down in his chair and soon let his head empty.

Studying. That would be mindless enough for now, and he had entrance exams coming up, after all. Light was about to set up everything on his desk before a head popped through the wall and just about gave him a premature heart attack.

Well, that didn't really happen every day.

"Hello, Light-kun," Ryuzaki said smoothly and soon brought the rest of himself in through the wall, crouching down on the desk and staring down at Light in that weird hawklike way of his.

"I..." Light rolled his eyes. "Do I want to ask?"

"Well, it might help a little. As you can see, I can become immaterial whenever I want. You know, I've realised that it was probably why I found it so easy to steal things. I would simply think that I didn't want to be seen, and nobody would see me."

"That's all well and good, but you're still on my desk."

Ryuzaki frowned. "That's the issue Light-kun has chosen to prioritize, rather than the possibility of his parents overhearing him and sending him to therapy for having an imaginary friend?"

"Off," Light snapped, shoving Ryuzaki off his formerly very neat and very tidy book pile. The other decided to comply with his wishes and proceeded to sit down on and wrinkle his formerly very neat and very tidy bed instead. Light winced, and Ryuzaki smiled.

"I suppose Light-kun could claim he was talking to his girlfriend on the phone."

Light flushed despite himself and averted his gaze. "Girlfriend?"  _Do I want to contemplate how far that may or may not be from the truth?_  Unwelcome flashbacks of earlier that day were returning to him.

Ryuzaki shrugged. "I'm a simple spirit. All I need from a prospective partner is a steady supply of sweets - baking ability preferred, proficiency in massages, and a willingness to be the little spoon." He worried his thumb. "...Psychic abilities of mass murder and/or God complex optional."

 _Do you know how much I want to be angry at you right now?_ "We... are  _not_ talking about that right now. Okay? Okay. We're okay."

"About our dubious relationship status, or the psychic abilities of mass-destruction and/or God complex?"

"Both would be just fine, thank you." Light became suddenly anxious as he remembered burning a batch of cupcakes two years ago in cooking class.

Ryuzaki's eyes drifted to the ceiling, and he tapped at his mouth. "Alright. Then I'm afraid I'm out of conversation topics."

"I suppose being an undead spirit doesn't lend itself to many exciting things to talk about," Light mused, rolling his eyes.

"Yes, you'd really be surprised." Ryuzaki paused for a moment, before seeming to have come up with something. "Ah."

Light waited.

"I'm hungry."

He blinked. "...Oh."

Ryuzaki got up.

"Wait, you can't -" Light reached out an arm.

Nope, too late. He'd left.

* * *

Ryuzaki soon returned holding a pudding cup and a spoon, sitting back down where the indent shaped like him still remained on the bed.

"That's my sister's," Light told him.

Ryuzaki frowned, offended. "Who, pray tell, has been going around passing laws enabling you to register legal possession of a dessert based on nothing but a verbal affirmation? Whoever would do such a thing?"

Light pinched the bridge of his nose.

"So yeah, it's mine now." Ryuzaki grinned childishly and started spooning custard into his mouth.

"How can you even be hungry? You're dead."

After gulping the pudding down faster than lightning, Ryuzaki replied. "Sometimes I still breathe out of habit. You might have guessed already, but realising you're dead is a bit of a...  _distressing_  experience. So, naturally, I guess I'm trying to forget that with familiar bodily routines." He tapped his mouth. "Also, food doesn't just stop tasting good or anything."

Light had started working on his studying again out of habit, and also to ignore his obnoxious ghost maybe-boyfriend.

"It was my birthday, you know," he heard Ryuzaki muse somewhere behind him, "On the day you tried to kill me. As lovely as that is, I promise I won't hold it against you. I think, though... that makes me... hmm. Twenty-four, now."

Light jumped, turning to look at the other.

"What?" L blinked. "It's not like I'm sixty."

"I guess your brain never matured past whenever you died, then."

L frowned. "It was five years ago that I died, so I was nineteen, and I guess I still look like it."

"...I'm not even legal, you know."

"Well, not much about Light-kun's recent history is very legal either."

L turned transparent just in time to evade a punch. He opened his mouth, about to complain, when the door swung open and Light froze in his tracks.

"You stole my pudding cup!" Sayu whined, pointing accusingly in his direction. She noticed the empty cup still lying on the bed along with the spoon, and shrieked. "Guilty as charged, nii-chan!"

"I..." Light looked in Ryuzaki's direction but he was nowhere to be seen. "Sayu, I assure you it's a misunderstanding. It was my annoying poltergeist ...friend Ryuzaki. He's obsessed with sweets and being a jerk on the Internet."

Sayu puffed out her cheeks and placed her hands on her hips. "Yeah right. I can't believe it! It was limited edition chocolate yogurt balls!"

"And it was damn good," Light heard a low voice mutter by his ear, and grumbled to himself.

"Okay, I ate your pudding," Light sighed, shrugging and letting himself appear guilty. "I guess I was hungry."

"You have to do all my homework for a week now, okay?" His sister giggled to herself. "I'm not forgiving you!"

Sayu gave one last suspicious glance in Light's direction before turning and leaving the room. He sighed in relief, slumping back into his chair and turning back around to face the desk. He soon began to get back to whatever it was he had been working on before that whole unfortunate kerfuffle.

"Light-kun."

_Not now._

"Light-kun." Light pointedly attempted to remain unfazed.

"Is Light-kun ignoring me?"

 _Yes, Light-kun is ignoring you._  He felt a chilly presence creep up by his back and couldn't help but finally turn around, only to see that Ryuzaki wasn't there. Instantly fearing the worst, Light was about to panic until he felt that same presence now pressing in on him from the front, slowly forming into a solid body sitting distractingly on top of him. Light whirled back around to face Ryuzaki, who was staring, nibbling at a thumb.

"What are you doing? In case you can't tell, I'm trying to get on with this and it's not my fault you just happened to show up and say hello."

The other just smirked, settling down with his legs folded to one side in Light's lap. "In case Light-kun can't tell, I don't intend on being ignored. It's not so horrible for his ghost girlfriend to want a little bit of attention, is it?" Ryuzaki's face buried into his neck, overwhelming him again with his sugary scent.

Determinedly, Light decided to attempt to reach around the roadblock in his way and continue the research he was doing on his computer, paying no attention to the heat burning up his face.

"Light-kun is still ignoring me," Ryuzaki whined, muffled against him.

"Do I have an obligation to pay attention to you?"

"Well, like it or not, I'm not disappearing, so that means I'm still here because Light-kun wants me to be. Therefore, the question really is..." Ryuzaki grinned. "Why Light-kun  _isn't_  paying attention to me."

"Y-you can obviously see that I'm busy, and -" Light was cut off by a sudden brush of lips against his collar, placing feathery kiss after kiss up his neck until they reached his mouth and claimed it softly, his view of the monitor now effectively blocked. Light struggled to focus despite his rapidly vanishing resolve, slowly but surely melting into the other with a sigh. Cool fingers glided across his face and he shivered, soon becoming breathless, tugging at Ryuzaki's hair to try and make him stop, but it only seemed to encourage him further. Light finally pulled away with a slight gasp. Ryuzaki was looking back at him, confused, but then quickly came to a realization. "Oh. I forgot Light-kun needs to breathe."

Light turned away, red-faced. His hands were still buried in stringy black hair, and it was hard to resist playing with it a little more. Some strands were surprisingly long, and it made him wonder when the last time Ryuzaki ever bothered to get a haircut was.

There was a lot he wondered, in fact, now that he had the time to think about it. Light turned back to Ryuzaki, who was smiling contentedly. The smile all but vanished when he realised Light was looking at him, however, as if he hadn't wanted it to be seen. Seemingly flustered, Ryuzaki was quick to bury his face back into Light's neck, arms wrapping round him. Slowly, Light began to move one of his hands downwards until it was placed over the other's chest, carefully trying to feel for a heartbeat, but like he'd suspected, there was nothing. If he cut Ryuzaki, would he bleed? He'd definitely shed blood when they fought together, but that was before he'd realised he was dead.

"Ryuzaki," Light mumbled into messy strands, "if you can still breathe when you think about it, then can you make your heart beat again too?"

There was a pause, a soft "Hmm," and then Light could feel it, a rapid beating against his palm. The cold body against him began to warm up, bit by bit, and he found himself surprised by how pleasant it suddenly was to be this close to someone.

"It was one of the reasons I never liked sleeping much, you know," Ryuzaki said quietly. "When I did, I'd always try and fall asleep sitting up how I usually do. When you lie down, your head goes quiet, and you can hear it."

"Your heartbeat?"

Ryuzaki nodded. "While lying on your side, your ear picks up the vibrations. Even if I tried lying on my back I'd change position eventually. Having to listen to your own heartbeat like that... Well, it's a reminder of how similar sleep is to death, isn't it? It just made it even harder for me to get to sleep."

Light's hand slowly found its way back to the other's hair, threading through it absentmindedly. "I never really thought of it like that. I've always fallen asleep quite quickly, just grateful that I could finally rest, I suppose."

Especially when he'd been Kira, exhausted every night, needing even more rest than usual...

"I don't think I'd mind falling asleep if I could be like this, you know," he heard Ryuzaki mutter under his breath.

Light considered the image for a second. Falling asleep with warmth wrapped around him, black hair brushing his neck, the scent of marshmallows in the air as he woke up. Would Ryuzaki smile in his sleep? Hopefully he wouldn't drool or snore loudly. Maybe he would sleep heavily, needing a lot of rest due to his former lack of it, and Light would have to wake him up with gentle kisses, or maybe poking if he was particularly annoyed. Was Ryuzaki ticklish? How would he sound laughing?  _'Light-kun, st- hahaha!' 'Light-kun- hahaha! has clearly become Kira again! Two hundred percent chance!'_

...Whoops, where had the time gone.

"If... you fell asleep on me, then I really would end up getting no work done," Light grumbled, face strawberry-red.

Ryuzaki paused for a few seconds before grinning. "Ah. Light-kun's heartbeat has suddenly gotten faster."

* * *

Light had been bound to actually need to sleep sooner or later, and unfortunately Ryuzaki was still there to harass him once he ended up going to bed.

If spooning constitued harassment, anyway.

"Light-kun." He heard the low mumble next to his ear. The other was lying on top of the covers behind him, naturally (and unfortunately) unable to sleep. "Do you know what day it is tomorrow?"

Ryuzaki's body was thankfully still warm, heartbeat faintly recognisable against his back. "Ryuzaki, I'm so tired right now I can hardly remember what month it is."

"Then I'll just tell you, and you can fall asleep if you want, because it doesn't matter that much," Ryuzaki said, then paused for a moment before continuing. "It'll be Bonfire Night.`

"Bonfire Night? I've heard of it, but never really looked into what it was all about. Fireworks...?"

"That's a part of it. Fireworks are launched because of a group of conspirators in 1605 who came up with a plot to smuggle barrels of gunpowder beneath the House of Lords to assassinate King James I. It was known as the Gunpowder Plot."

"And I suppose that's worth a celebration four hundred years down the line?"

"It was more than that. They wanted to instill Princess Elizabeth on the throne and return England to Catholicism."

"Not a good idea, I'm guessing. Ryuzaki, are you from England?"

A pause. "I... don't know. Along with my name, I can't remember much of anything about my identity. Maybe I am. I suppose if I said something in English, I'd find out."

Ryuzaki was quiet for a little while before he resumed explaining. "There was a bonfire in celebration of King James I's survival where an effigy of the Pope was burned, and that led to the bonfire tradition. The margins for success were nonexistant to begin with, but it's undoubtedly clear that had it miraculously been pulled off, the consequences would have been... quite disastrous."

"Ryuzaki, I'm asleep."

He felt L's smile against the nape of his neck. "No you're not."

Light grumbled. "Okay, fine, but I'm getting there. Now, goodnight."

"Hey, Light-kun."

Spidery strands of hair were tickling his shoulders. "What is it now?"

"You'll... keep me here, won't you?"

Light froze, opening his eyes. He saw the other's arms wrapped around him, pale hands now bunched up in the fabric of his shirt. He swallowed, realising he was going to have to say it eventually. It was hard to admit, but this was finally it. He chose to leave Kira behind. He... chose this, and there was no going back now.

Was there?

"I... will."

Light felt Ryuzaki smile again against his ear, and as he drifted into the haze of sleep, the other's chanting softly eased him there. Ryuzaki was speaking in English, and there was a lyrical quality to the words that didn't quite show in his usual bored-sounding, flat-toned Japanese.

"Remember, remember, the fifth of November..."

* * *

Gunpowder, treason, and plot.

I see no reason that gunpowder treason

Should ever be forgot."

L watched the other's sleeping face warily, knowing that nothing which seemed wholly innocent ever turned out to be.

In other news, though, he'd just found out he was from Somerset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so just for laughs, I wanted to give L the most unfitting english accent ever. (it was going to be essex)  
> the fluff train has arrived, I am trash, enjoy it until it leaves the station ;A;  
> november 5th, bonfire night, is L's canon death date, and I always thought that was pretty neat, and wish it was explored more ;u;


	23. Disappear Here

In the morning, Light had rolled over, disappointed to see the other gone from the other side of the bed. But there was a faint imprint left of where the weight of his body had been, and a sugary scent embedded in the covers that Light breathed in as he buried his face into them with a secret smile, finding that he was glad, more than anything, that Ryuzaki had been there last night at all.

* * *

"I don't want to believe that Kira was Misa-Misa-chan all along!"

"Hey, Yagami-kun, did she like, really stalk you?"

"Hey, I bet you were both Kira."

" _Yagami-kuun,_  stop ignoring me."

Light had made the mistake of staying in his place this breaktime, hoping that his personal press would've died down a little by now. Ryuzaki hadn't shown up that morning, but Light figured he might have just seen no point in it. He had no need to pretend to be a student anymore.

"Yagami-kun's a _liiiar._ "

Hearing this, Light turned around to see one of the girls who had formerly been in the club: Keiko. She was standing right beside his desk, grinning widely with her hands behind her back. "Oh, I don't mean about not being Kira," she giggled, "I mean about when you tried to convince all of us there was nothing going on! You're such a liar! Liar, liar, liar! Heheheh!"

Light narrowed his eyes. "What are you talking about?"

A bunch of other girls, including most of the ones from the club, had now crowded round, some of them excitedly mumbling to Keiko to ask what this was all about.

"Somehow I forgot he even existed until now, but Ryuga-kun was back yesterday!" Keiko announced. "And he was with Yagami-kun! Look, I took a picture!" She held up her phone, displaying a photo taken through the window on the door of the pair of them together.

The crowd of girls, now joined by some boys, erupted into chaos.

"Yagami-kun is blushing!" Keiko laughed.

"I-" he started.

A group of other girls around her shrieked. "Oh my god, he _iiiis!_ "

Swallowing and forcing himself to remain composed, Light took a moment to recall how he could turn this situation around, calmly rationalizing and searching for an answer like second nature. He recalled the details of how ghosts seemed to work. "Didn't you say it yourself?" He asked nonchalantly, steeling his voice. "You forgot he even existed." Light retained his impassive face, noticing the blank looks that were beginning to surround him. "I don't know who you're even talking about. In fact, I doubt anyone like that was ever here at all."

Keiko looked confused. "I guess, now that you remind me..."

"That's right," Light insisted, "He was never here." Looking to the side and sighing, he calmly concluded,

"I don't know anybody named Ryuga."

* * *

Papers.

Papers upon papers, strewn everywhere across the room, torn out from a half-empty black notebook lying sprawled in the center of it all. When Light walked in to see it, he'd nearly fallen back in shock.

**LIAR.**

**LIAR.**

**LIAR.**

Scrawled on every single one were these words, the letters jagged and rushed. The marker that had been used to write them lay beside the open notebook, where words had been written on a page that was only half torn out. The word forcibly pressed onto it seemed the same at first, but it was then suddenly confusing to see that the last two Hiragana characters,  _tsu_ and _ki_ , that finished out the word 'liar', _usotsuki,_  had been replaced with the kanji for -

**LIAR LIGHT.**

... _Moon_.  _Tsuki._  But it was obvious that this message was directed towards him. It was his name, and it was a direct, personal accusation.

The chair by the table was empty, and Light screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was difficult to think of a way to translate the (terrible) pun in a simple way... ;v;


	24. Burning

Colours, sounds and shapes were a thick soup that refused to clear as L slowly became aware of the fact his body responded to touch once more. It was whole again; the fading had somehow reversed.

The last thing he remembered before finding himself in this situation was disappearing. All of a sudden, he'd felt it, that hollow ache in his chest that told him that the sole person keeping him there, that Light had suddenly wished for nothing more than for him to be forgotten.  
While he could still force his body to touch the physical plane, he'd grabbed a marker and written, over and over, until his body had faded up into nothing, spiting the other with every single second he had remaining. There was nothing quite like leaving the world's most terrible pun in order to symbolically flip off your ex for the last time.

Although it wasn't like the term  _ex_  was really applicable here, since the only official title they'd ever acknowledged between themselves was  _enemy._

Ex-nemesis, then. That sounded more interesting, and made it rather easier to forget about certain more unfortunate and more recent feelings. And also made it seem to L like he'd been some kind of superhero, although he'd absolutely never wear spandex no matter how well it flattered his junk.

Wait, but that didn't mean  _Kira_  necessarily would reject spandex.

Kira in spandex. That was the wrong train of thought to hop on.  _Get off. Get **off**  the train, get off. You're meant to be cursing the bastard, for God's sake, stop it. He killed you and probably never cared about you in the first place! This is  **not**  the time! ...Ah yes, there it is again. That lovely cold-blooded feeling of absolute loathing. Now, where was I..._

It had been difficult enough to come back from his first disappearance. When somebody made you disappear, only a desire for you to return that was stronger than their previous desire for you to leave could pull you back.

Light's wish for him to leave had outweighed, had covered up whatever desire he'd had for him to stay. Whatever feelings L had wanted to believe he truly had.

L almost felt like laughing to himself right now, because he had been right, despite how much he didn't want to be this time. And when L was right, it was hard for him not to celebrate that small victory like the child he always was and would be.

L had been right. The two of them could never trust each other.

There was a nostalgic scent in the air, a scent that coaxed his heavy eyelids open. The withered grey grass and battered old tombstones made him twitch with sudden deja vu, but something about the picture seemed off to wherever in his mind it had come from.  
There was a large gravestone topped with a weathered cross standing below from where he realised he was hanging above and looking downwards. The gravestone was not marked with a name, but it stared L in the face like it knew it would be his. He swallowed painfully, and suddenly choked as he felt the rope chafing round his throat, forming a loop that held his head to a wooden beam above. L tried to grip at the rope and pull himself free, but his body would not obey. It wouldn't move.

He blinked, and a flash of white appeared where it hadn't been before. There was a small boy, perhaps around five years old, sitting down on the ground nearby the gravestone. He was staring up at L with intelligent eyes pale as icing powder that were far too old for him. This boy seemed familiar, so familiar, and it ached the more L tried to remember. The realization was just out of reach, the same feeling he got when trying to remember his name.

"Hello," the boy said, in a voice that was also far too old for him. "Ah, I should explain that. This is how you still remember me, from somewhere in your mind – when I was five. I can't figure out how to get my voice to match, though."

L stared for a moment. It was obvious that he did know this boy from somewhere, but... "But I don't..."

"Of course," the other replied with a knowing look. "I understand that. If it's really that offputting, I can go back to how I usually look."

"Well, you've already apparently decided to have me hanging here, so why not. Make yourself at home."

The boy glowed for a second, and then changed into a taller version of himself. There really wasn't a whole lot of difference, aside from looking a little less round-featured and a little more grumpy.

"Not a lot of change. Is it bad that I have the sudden urge to pinch your cheeks? I don't quite know why."

The pale boy smiled slightly at that. "I'm sure you would have done that."

"I'm guessing you don't intend on telling me who you are," L mused.

The stranger's smile widened slightly. "If you need something to call me, then 'N' will be fine."

N reached out a hand to the face of the gravestone and touched a finger to the surface. He drew a short, horizontal line, and magically, an indent in the stone was created after it. N continued on, leaving a space and then making seven more short lines afterward.

Blank spaces for letters. L couldn't help but sigh tiredly as he realised the significance of his current... situation. "All for the sake of this joke, N? Really?"

N shrugged. "Well, who says a little trial to help you figure out yourself again can't be fun?"

L choked against his rope.

N frowned. "Oh. Well, _I'm_  having fun, at least. It's nice to see you again."

"I'm sure I'd return the sentiment if I could remember who you are," L drawled.

"I mean it."

L paused. Could this boy, N, have been somebody he knew but who died, and now was able to reunite with him in the spirit world, or wherever it was inside his memories they happened to be at the moment?

"I'm not dead," N said. L's eyes widened. Had his thoughts just been read?

"Yes, I can read your thoughts," N explained. "It's something I've always been able to do, except it took me a while to be able to get it to happen when I actually wanted it to. I used to hate being around people because their thoughts were all I could hear, and I could never think." N smiled faintly. "It was always fascinating being able to read yours, you know. I wanted to tell you about it eventually, because I knew you'd believe me. But..."  
N's eyes softened and he cut himself off, pausing for a few moments. "Eventually, I learned that I could project myself into others' minds and analyse them more closely. This place is taken from your memories, but I've changed it around a little by myself. Put simply, I'm here to help you." He smirked. "...In a way, anyway. So, as you can see, your trial is a game of Hangman." N pointed to the large gravestone. "Your task is to correctly realise your own name."

L narrowed his eyes, confused. From what he knew, a spirit realising their identity again was the key for them to move on and pass to the grave peacefully. Well, or not peacefully, considering Akane, but the idea was still there - and he didn't want that. But... L's only other option, of course, was to be a forgotten spirit that could do nothing but drift around aimlessly in the world of the dead. Passing on... maybe N really was helping him by guiding him towards it.

N smiled in the face of his apprehension, however. "Trust me," he assured. "You'll return to where you're supposed to be."

"I see you don't intend on simply telling me my name, then."

"Of course. Because..." N curled a finger around a white lock of hair and began twirling. "In the end, if you can't win the game, if you can't solve the puzzle, you're nothing but a loser." The strange boy tilted his head. "In your words, originally."

L's eyes widened. It was true, wasn't it? This was the final mystery unknown to himself, his name and identity, and it was time to work it out on his own. N was only doing what he would have wanted for himself.  
He chewed at his lip in place of his thumb, unable to move his arms. Of course simply passing on peacefully couldn't be all there was to it. It was just up to him now to figure it all out.

L cried out as he hit the ground, the rope around his neck vanishing. The gallows stand was gone, too.

"It's time to begin," N announced, gesturing to the gravestone. L slowly composed himself as he became able to move again, rubbing at his throat. N grinned and held up one finger. "Oh, and there's just one rule you need to know."

L curled into a ball and waited for N to continue.

"Guessing a certain letter will end in automatic failure. In addition, you can only have eight guesses wong."

Placing a thumb to his mouth, L wished he had something to eat before attempting to properly think.  
N chuckled, and a packet of Custard Creams appeared in front of him. Nodding gratefully, L picked one out and nibbled at it.

While the opposing strategy of a usual Hangman game was to come up with an obscure, difficult word with as many underused letters as possible in order to trick the guesser, guessing a name could be easy enough, since as far as L knew, he had no Welsh heritage. Vowels would be a safe bet. "A," he guessed first.

N grinned, and to L's triumph, the letter appeared on the second set of marks, one line in.

**A**

Now was no time to get cocky, because that was just a lucky guess. The name would surely need more vowels. L was about to consider which to go for next, but his head became dizzy all of a sudden, the colours in front of his eyes swirling around.

* * *

_Nearly everyone had been evacuated._

_Nearly._

_A shadow in the corner of the dark church room. L walked closer, swallowing his apprehension, towards the small child standing there looking at him with lightless eyes._

_Blinking in shock as he recognised the girl by her strawberry blonde hair, L reached out a hand unconsciously towards her, the beginnings of a letter on his lips._

* * *

The sudden vision dissipated, and L straightened himself up again, head still swimming. N was staring at him patiently.

"U," L tried next. N's finger stopped playing with his hair and froze. He smiled and shook his head.

N pointed towards one of the smaller gravestones around them, also blank-surfaced, and L watched as the letter 'U' appeared on it. Hearing something behind him, L turned to see that the base of the gallows had reappeared.  
With the first of his guesses now depleted, L pressed his lips together, hiding his natural distaste for losing. N must have known all about it, however, because his smile had become a grin.

"I."

He guessed right again, and the letter appeared on the large headstone's smooth surface.

**A I**

"E."

Another correct guess. N seemed rather amused.

**A I E**

"N," L then guessed, having come to the conclusion that the other's name could have been a hint for him.

N chuckled. "I thought you might try that even before I heard you think it." He pointed towards another blank headstone, and L's mind dizzied once more.

* * *

 _That same dark, musty stone church building. L made his way up a spiral_   _stairway that constricted space on all sides, holding a flashlight. He could hear faint sobs coming from the top, and remembered feeling a flash of anger._

_Reaching the top, he saw that boy – N – curled up on the floor and crying. Noticing the light, the boy turned around and saw L, eyes instantly brightening._

" _It's okay now, Near."_

_Instinctively he knew that the two others, Matt and Mello, would be hiding around somewhere, and proceeded to call them out._

* * *

As the vision faded, L saw the other staring at him again.

"Near...?" He mumbled, and N smiled. "I don't remember everything, but I..."

"You'll remember everything if you find your way out of this game," Near said.

L went back to thinking. One Hangman strategy was to look for RATS, aka, try out those four very common letters. He'd already guessed A, so now one of the others would have to be his next one.

"R."

Near shook his head, and the letter appeared on another blank headstone. L gripped his knees, steeling his nerves as the third addition to the hanging block appeared. It seemed he had no memories attached to this particular letter.

"T," he tried next, and to his elation, it was another correct guess.

**A I E T**

Leave it to L to have the weirdest name known to man, because what was there so far looked like no other he had ever known in his life. As for that letter he was apparently unable to guess, he certainly had his suspicions. It would be in the name somewhere, L was sure of it, but  _where_  was the question – a question that would only be answered once all other letters were exhausted.

"M."

Another incorrect guess. L's head began to swirl again as the letter appeared on a blank headstone and a support connected the top of the wooden beams.

* * *

_Two boys, older than Near, one holding a backpack and with his eyes glued on a Gameboy as he walked, and the other busy opening said backpack and relieving it of its Mars Bar supplies._

_L remembered rolling his eyes as he noticed they'd followed him, but knew Matt and Mello would mean no harm. Except possibly to Near, who they'd also dragged along._

" _Just one more thing," Matt had asked suddenly, glancing behind him at a fourth, bizarre-looking child. "Did we_ have _to bring..."_

* * *

As the third vision faded, L found he was getting better at shaking off the nausea in his mind. He noted that the mentioning of the two boys' names in his vision about Near had most likely been a clue as to the next letter that would trigger a memory. The name of that last one had been cut off just before he could remember it, and it was lingering in his head, on the tip of his tongue. Perhaps he would remember if he tried hard enough, but for now...

"Were they your friends?" he asked Near, who tilted his head.

"Something like that. Still are."

L smiled. "I'm guessing they weren't very nice to you."

"Well, after that first memory you saw, they didn't touch Lucy anymore. In any case, no need to get off topic. Make your next guess."

L thought carefully. He considered letters that could follow 'A'. "Y", he guessed.

The letter appeared on a tombstone, and L swallowed as a noose appeared, dangling down from the top beam. Four guesses left.

"D."

Near shook his head, and L felt his body move of its own accord, moving over to the wooden stand and taking his place there, the loop hanging above him ominously. "C-C." he spluttered out next. This wasn't good. It was even harder to think like this. L felt a numbness hit his gut as the letter appeared on a tombstone around them. Near was looking somewhat disappointed, and L supposed he was deserving of that look, since there was something he obviously wasn't seeing.

"S." L tried. It was another common letter, but it was another miss, and he was down to his last guess. A stand appeared beneath his feet, and his hands took hold of the rope of their own accord. L closed his eyes. Now wasn't the time to be staring death in the face.

"You're so sure I'll be winning this guessing game, Near?"

"I wasn't sure," he heard the other's smooth voice say. "But it was worth a shot. I thought that if anyone could figure it out, it'd be you."

L tried to think. It was his last chance, he might as well try some obscure letter in the hopes of it working. "W," he said at last, and to his surprise, his hands didn't move. Opening his eyes, he saw that the letter had been added on to the blank spaces.

****A W I E T** **

Was it futile to believe there was hope?

"I'll give you a little hint, now." Near said softly. "Each missing space is the exact same letter."

L's eyes widened as he realised the implications.  _But if I say that letter, I'll lose automatically. If I win... I lose?_ Near was smiling, undoubtedly able to hear his confusion. There was method to this. There had to be. But it just wasn't adding up.

"Another small hint." Near pointed to the grave. "This, as you might have already suspected, is  _your_  grave." L knew that already – that finding out his name would mean true death. Then, was the point of the game  _not_  to complete it?

Near was silently studying him, milky eyes challenging.

There was only one option left. The answer had finally arrived.

"B."

* * *

_With the rest of the house asleep, nobody else must have heard the clattering from the kitchen downstairs. Already having a good idea of who could be causing such a ruckus, L left his room and headed downstairs to the lair of the beast._

_Empty containers and packets were strewn everywhere on the floor, surrounding a spindly child with awkward limbs busy shovelling raspberry jam into his mouth with his fingers. Three other empty jam jars lay next to him, and just looking at the gruesome scene was enough to make L a little queasy._

" _B," L huffed, "Stop that."_

" _Stop what?" B questioned, slurping his sticky fingers. "You want me to put this back? I already licked it. I have a really bad cold, and everyone will get it."_

" _Yes, you can keep the jam," L sighed, and bent down to pull the child out of the mess, holding down his arms as he tried to protest. L expertly dodged about seven separate bite attempts as he started dragging him upstairs. "You're going to have to clean all of that up tomorrow."_

_B squirmed. "No I won't!"_

" _Yes you will, probably after puking up all that food you ate. I'd threaten that we won't buy jam anymore, but then I know you'll run down to the shop in the middle of the night and steal it yourself."_

" _If you tell on me, I'll tell everyone your real name."_

 _L froze at this, mainly because even_ he _didn't know his own real name. Full name, at least – he was abandoned too young to remember it and the identity of his parents was unknown._

_The little devil grinned. "I know everyone's names, even though they all pretend with fake ones like some kind of game, and I ended up playing too. I always know names. And I know yours."_

_L stared. He knew that B could simply make up something and he would have no way to prove if it was true, but why would he have chosen to make up that particular story about himself?_

_The boy's eyes always had seemed just a little too red to be called brown, and they glinted at L mischievously. "You can believe me whether you want to or not, but I can see your name right here in front of me, and it's -"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> near is clearly just as much of a little shit with puns, and L is secretly proud.  
> sorry L, I had to make B's name not appear in the flashback or you would have figured it out too quickly. lololol.


	25. Last Man Standing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in my defense, the first scene was added literally after the final draft. whoops, looks like I'm going to have to take off that 'no shinigami' thing in the description, pffff. (how they work and the shinigami world etc have been changed a bit from canon though)

Even immortal beings of Death needed friends.

That was Death with a capital  _D,_  because the business was a rather significant one - even if those who happened to be involved in it were rarely very enthusiastic about their work. But this particular immortal being of Death out of all of them, the Shinigami named Sidoh, fancied himself on the lowest ends of that scale of enthusiasm.  
Even being the ferryman on the black sand shores would be better than his job, which, while not the most boring on offer ( _that_  would be the office drones stuck organizing human names in complex pan-language alphabetical order for the Notes), was certainly dismal. The world of the dead was a dismal place to begin with, and he certainly hadn't been missing it.

The other denizens of the place, other Shinigami, were hardly the type to invite you in for tea, and that wasn't even getting started on the dead themselves. Foul-mouthed, nasty humans bearing grudges more numerous than the total of their vast population, all wanting nothing more than to break free from the gates that held them and wreak havoc on the surface - their human world, which was an infinitely more tempting place to visit. And so, it was just his luck to have ended up there some time ago. Exactly how long ago, however, Sidoh couldn't say, seeing as measurements of time in this place weren't his specialty. But he did know that the pretty blonde girl he'd found himself in the company of since then, the aforementioned _friend,_  had gotten considerably taller in that time.

"You're still following me, aren't you?"

Alright, so perhaps  _found himself in the company of_  was the wrong phrase to have used.  _Started stalking_  was more accurate. But hey, it wasn't like she minded. It sure was nice having a friend, Sidoh thought as he was caught red-handed in the middle of some of said stalking.

Awkwardly, he folded his wings in and stopped in his tracks, attempting to hide behind a nearby wall in the open space round the back of the large building. "Uhh...  _No...?_ "

The human scoffed, walking over and leaning against the wall, peering round. "Oh, you're right, it must be some other Shinigami with that wimpy little voice."

Sidoh drooped. "That's really not very nice."

It really wasn't, in fact, seeing as how she had a very strange voice herself. It wasn't much like most of the other human girls he'd seen, but humans and their oddities were not Sidoh's specialty, either.

"So, you're still the Lord of the Dead and all, right?" The girl asked with a smirk, flipping her shoulder-length hair and casually thumbing her pockets. Her dark eyes were glinting, the telltale sign that she'd soon be up to no good.

"Uhh," he tilted his head dumbly, " _Yeees...?_ "

So there  _may_  have been a little exaggeration involved on Sidoh's part when it had come to introducing himself. Not that actually being the Lord of the Dead was any better of a job, really - though of course, no easily-impressed human needed to know that. You just sat there in one place on an admittedly cool-looking pile of skulls all day and listened to the dead people you're the apparent Lord of complaining. You could do a kind-of neat thing where you point at someone who was annoying you and zap their soul off to Mu, which came with its own dramatic black lightning effect. It did get old after the first hundred million times you saw it, though.

But anyway, all Sidoh did was guard the Gates of the dead people the Lord was Lord of. Usually he'd just sit there and sleep, only needing to open the Gates up whenever new arrivals came in, which used to be much more infrequent, but recently his job had actually become very busy. Sometimes, he looked at the spirits packed in like angry sardines behind the bars, but he never got too close. The mean ones would try to bite.

"Well that's good," the human replied, holding up a small, dark pearl-like orb connected to a broken thread, "because you know how you're permanently indebted to me?"

Well, so she liked to think. As it happened, Sidoh had only dropped his soul (yes, having to carry it around was awfully inconvenient) by accident and had honestly just been too polite to ask for it back once the girl had picked it up. Somehow, she'd gotten the idea that by reciting some kind of incantation she got off the Internet in the ancient human language of the Roman Empire (Nasty place, the dead from that time were always reciting obscene poetry and complaining about being sober), it would mean that he would be placed under her control, and he was lonely, so he just went along with it.

"Uh... Yes."

"And you know how I'm your best friend and I'll burn this tacky thing if you don't help me?" Ah yes, well, that would present a problem. Sidoh didn't actually know how difficult it would be to try and get the thing back. Souls were very small and finicky things, and this was a girl with a personal vendetta against cows for a wardrobe who somehow managed to make his nonexistent bowels feel like emptying in fear even with her yelling muffled by inordinate amounts of chocolate.

Sidoh considered this for a moment. "...Well-"

The human grinned widely and leaned in close, folding the gloved hand holding the precious object into a fist. "Good, because I have a little request for you."

* * *

Light couldn't sleep.

For the past week, it seemed that no matter how long he lied there with his eyes closed, sleep would not come to him. Laying there for what felt like far too long, he was left alone with nothing but his thoughts every time. Opening his eyes after endless hours, he would see the dark November sky outside, feeling no more rested than when he had first rolled into bed.

At first, laying there with all that empty time and the inability to numb his mind with schoolwork, there was only pain. There was only his heartbeat thrumming in his ear, impossible to ignore.

Denial was the first stage of grief. But what was there to deny? He knew it was all his fault. No matter how many times he went into that room again, Ryuzaki would not return.

_Stop this. You really thought he trusted you in the first place?_

_For now, you can lie to yourself. You've done it to other people. It's all you do to other people. You did it to him, too._

Light rather liked where this helpful voice inside his head was coming from. It seemed really quite sensible. It couldn't possibly be himself, of course, because he was still busy being pathetic and weak and able to feel regret. It was disorienting and frankly unwelcome, to say the least, to find that he still happened to have emotions, and that they had to hurt so much and so constantly.

_Don't you remember what you said? 'I don't know anyone called Ryuga'. It's true. Say it again to yourself. Say it over and over. Say it until you get bored of it and you'll believe it. Understand? It's not difficult to tell a lie. You've known this since before you even said your first word. Fake it until you make it._

_Fake it until you make it, fake it until you make it, fake it until you make it._

Everyone had heard at least once in their lives that faking a smile would eventually make you think that you were happy.

"I don't know anyone called Ryuga," Light said out loud.

"I don't know anyone called Ryuzaki," he then said.

"I don't know anyone called Ryuzaki," he repeated, tone bordering on frantic.

He repeated it again and again.

_I don't know anyone called Ryuzaki Idon'tknowanyonecalledRyuzakiIdon'tknowanyonecalledRyuzakiIdon'tknowanyonecalledRyuzakiIdon'tknowanyonecalledRyuzaki._

Light smiled as the bliss of sleep finally overtook him.

* * *

The apartment building was scheduled to be knocked down soon.

Claiming he was going out to the library that weekend, Light followed the familiar route up to the top floor flat. His footsteps echoed around dully in the abandoned stairways. It was a good thing he'd got here before the construction company arrived to make preparations.

The room was more or less how Light remembered it. The desk, along with the generators and monitors still lined up. Brightly-coloured wrappers and packets were scattered everywhere across the chaotic jumble of wires and across the floor.

A flash of white that he hadn't noticed before caught his attention, however, and Light walked closer to find a video tape lying on the desk, along with a package with the address of the NPA station written in. On the white cover of the tape was a black calligraphic L, the same one he recognised from before. On the side was neatly written,  **'The conclusion to the Kira case'.**

Why had L not sent it off? He didn't seem like the type to procrastinate. This had to have been made somewhere in the time after Light had been with Misa. In addition, when he'd found L after his breakdown at her hands, he had been barely visible. It was doubtful he would have been able to touch things, or to even record his voice. Light concluded that the tape must have been made by L sometime after he'd found out the true identity of Misa, Akane Mitsuko, and intended to stop the two of them in their tracks by presenting his evidence against them. But, for whatever reason, he didn't do it.

Whatever reason.

Light could certainly think of a possible reason.  _How laughable._

Gingerly, he picked up the tape, looking at that familiar letter for a few seconds. It brought none of the fury he had experienced when viewing it as Kira for the first time. Instead, it just made him feel empty.

_Emptiness is better than pain. Emptiness? Just fill it back up with something else. You know it'll happen soon. You know what ennui does to you._

Light placed the tape into his bag and turned to leave the mould-infested room.

* * *

Staring at the static on the television in his room blankly, Light found himself reminded of ghost movies.

The screen became a stark white, with that familiar symbol displayed.

"In light of recent progress made on the Kira case investigation, progress that I may assuredly allow myself to call a conclusion, I have taken it upon myself to present my findings to the NPA." The masked voice was the same as the one L had used when speaking with him. Listening to it, the back of Light's neck began to prickle as if remembering the touch of spidery strands against it. "I have little doubt that some, or most of you will recognise me as L, the self-proclaimed opponent of Kira since the beginning. What I want to say to you first of all is that no matter how unlikely it may seem, this is the truth, and the truth is all that matters."

_Interesting to hear from a liar like you, L._

Light shut off the tape and proceeded to burn it outside.

* * *

"Wow, where did you get all those computers, nii-chan?" Sayu was staring at his desk in wonder.

"I found them in a junk shop, and I'm working on fixing them up right now."

"Wow, that's really cool! My big brother's really good at everything, isn't he?" Sayu nudged him, rolling her eyes. "Well, except getting a girlfriend. You're gonna be in university soon, you know!" His sister teased.

Light froze, pressing his lips together. He didn't let his face be seen. "Sayu, I'm busy. I need quiet to work."

Sayu frowned, sensing how tense he was all of a sudden. "Nii-chan, I just came in here 'cause Youko had some of these left over from baking class today. Even though Halloween was ages ago, she's still really obsessed, So I wanted to know if you -"  
She stopped, eyes widening as Light spun around in his chair to see the container of pumpkin Swiss roll slices she'd just opened up, horror flashing on his face.

"Are you oka-"

"I'm fine." Light said firmly, only just stopping himself from snapping. "I'm just not hungry."

"Nii-chan, today you didn't even touch breakf-"

"I'm not hungry, Sayu, and I hate sweets. Please just let me work."

Sayu forced a smile, deciding to try and cheer her brother up. "Well, why not at least keep them for your ghost friend Ryuzaki, huh?"

A stab of numbness hit Light in the gut, and he grit his teeth. " _Don't be stupid._ "

Sayu obviously knew something was wrong, but must have been too nervous to press it upon seeing the look in Light's eyes. Wordlessly she turned and left the room, but not before leaving the container on his desk.

Light found the lid immediately and closed it up. No ghostly fingers were going to come prying in any time soon, thank you very much.

Gluttony was a vice. There were plenty of sweets down in Hell.

* * *

**Topic: My conclusions to the Kira case.**

**[L]  
** **Posted: 03/11/21**

**The Kira case has come to an end, with the culprit confirmed as Akane Mitsuko, better known as the model Amane Misa. I'm disappointed to have not reached this conclusion myself, as I had been certain on the former suspect.**

**However, there is a part of me that believes that this will not be the end of Kira. While the original murderer may be now dead, the idea of another person in the world appearing with similar abilities is not improbable. It is for this reason that I now swear to find and expose any subsequent Kira murderers, especially those who intend to try and adhere to the first Kira's sense of justice and try to pick up where she left off.**

**An individual with the psychic ability to kill and manipulate people is a simple murderer, but Kira is an idea.**

**And the idea of Kira is one that I stand opposed to.**

* * *

The midnight sky was pitch-black, but the pinpricks of white falling down gracefully almost resembled stars as she gazed upwards in wonder.

"The snow's so pretty, Sayu-chan!"

Sayu looked back down to see her friends around her in their New Year's kimonos, all giggling and trying to catch the falling flakes on their tongues. "Hey, you're going to fall over, Youko!" she warned, pulling her friend by the shoulder before she could totter over. Youko laughed.

"Alright, alright. Hey, I've just decided what my hopes for the new year are!"

Everyone grinned at her. "What, you're going to pretend it's autumn every season?" One of the other girls asked.

"No," Youko scoffed. "I'm gonna get a cat. A really cute black one! I haven't decided on a name yet, though."

"Oh, I haven't decided on what I hope for yet." Sayu thought for a moment.

"For Ryuga Hideki to become an ebhebophile?"

"N-no!" Sayu flushed, playfully elbowing her friend. "I think I want to see my brother be happy again. He's really seemed down lately. Something's wrong, but he's not the kind of guy who opens up and tells you things. He's really good at making everything seem normal and okay. He always has been."

"No way! Who could have broken his heart?"

"If it was my older sister, he can have me instead!"

Sayu rolled her eyes. "I don't think he'd ever have that kind of issue, Yumi. Maybe he's just nervous about getting into university or something." And speaking of Light, she spotted him standing alone over by a tree in the distance. Waving goodbye to her friends, Sayu ran over to talk to him.

"Hey!" Sayu called out brightly, getting out an extra mochi she'd bought and handing it over, but Light refused it with a polite half-smile.

"I was just talking with my friends about what we were all hoping for the new year," she said, grinning. "Do you have anything in mind yet?"

Light didn't reply at first, looking down at the mochi Sayu was holding. "Yeah, I do."

"What is it?"

The shrine bell was beginning to toll now, ringing out the first of one hundred and eight times to purge everyone of their worldly sins, to put the past year's regrets behind.

"I want to find something that I lost before."

"Something you lost?" Sayu asked, blinking. "You could ask me if I've seen it around."

Light smiled – no, smirked, eyes becoming sharp as he turned away from his sister.

"Something very important. I hope it comes back to me soon, but I think it ought to before I get too bored."


	26. I'm Still Awake

_Spring was the second symbol of a new beginning._

_The queen of the Underworld, Persephone, would return to the surface where the sun once more shone, as dictated in Greek mythology._

_It was only fitting that now, he would rise from the depths of boredom once again and return to his true purpose._

_Once that familiar burning behind his eyes returned, the first thing Light did was imagine that bastard Ryuzaki's face, just to make sure he would stay dead._

* * *

**Topic: New Kira**

**[L]  
** **Posted: 04/04/15**

**And so, Kira has re-emerged.**

**The first string of killings are confirmed to have originated in France, but quickly have branched out to the criminals of other countries. Because nobody in Japan has been targeted yet, it is unlikely for the new Kira to be Japanese. Times of killings vary wildly.**

**As of now, not much information can be surmised about this new Kira, aside from their probable location in Nice. Their motivations seem to mirror that of the original Kira almost exactly – a desire to try and change the world by killing off criminals. As of yet, no ability matching that of the late October 2003 triple killing cases has been shown.**

**I look forward to finding out more about you, New Kira.**

* * *

The varnishy scent of paint and clay, spools of thread and assorted tools scattered with seeming haphazardness across the workspace on the floor.

 _Just listen to me. I already knew you were stupid, but this is a new low._ Those words from that argument earlier were returning, even though they were being deftly ignored at the present moment.

Careful brushstrokes over clay features, body soon secured to head with stitch after stitch. Kira was shaping up rather nicely.

_And oh, sure, you're definitely welcome to that stupidity, but seriously, you think you can try and take him on? That's suicide._

His face would, slowly but surely, take form soon - if he was to be like the other puppets, then it would show up when the paint had finished drying, revealing the truth of his nature. Eyes were the windows to the soul, and in this case, it was the truth.

_I'm no expert on you psychics and your mind bullshit, but if what you've told me is any indication, you're going to be exposing yourself to Kira like a complete fool._

There was a space left out on the shelf specially for the new puppet, and with the last few stitches made securely, it was soon placed there and left to dry.

_Whatever. If you have half a brain at all, you'll know what I'm getting at here. I give up. I'll sort him out before you turn into a dribbling lunatic anyway. Have fun trying to reason with that piece of work, Near._

* * *

Shadows started hiding at the edges of Light's peripheral vision.

At first it was when his head was still dizzy and aching from the exertion, blood throbbing in his temples, that he saw them. Flimsy silhouettes, blank-faced and gaping, standing by the walls, by the windows, anywhere they could fit.  
Only a few at first. Only a few dared to confront him, and even they were content to hide. Light thought he was only hallucinating from mental stress and was quick to dismiss what he was seeing as nothing more than that.

Soon, hundreds upon hundreds, packed into his room, packed into anywhere he dared walk like a crowded Tokyo subway. Their bodies began to take on more defined features, but their faces remained expressionless, gawking blobs.

Any time he would use his power as Kira, they would be there, a crowd of witnesses to his crimes, each pair of lifeless eyes staring at him accusingly.

Light continued to dismiss it all as mere hallucinations.

At least, until they began to call for him.

_Kira, Kira, Kira, Kira._

Gripping his head, Light only just held in a scream as a shadow that blocked his way as he was about to step onto a train carriage formed a distinctive face for the first time, shrieking at him unintelligibly. It was the face of a bank robber he'd executed last year as one of his first.  
Light nearly fell off the step, and a businessman behind him who he'd nearly knocked over in the process yelled impatiently. Light froze again, however, as he saw another shadow standing behind the man, wearing the face of a woman found guilty of theft who he'd put to death only two weeks ago.

Quickly, he pulled himself into the train, panting in shock as he grabbed onto a strap from the ceiling. People hurriedly packed in around him, and Light closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. With the train full like this, there was no way he could see any more of those things.

As he lay in bed that night, the shadow people surrounded him at every corner like a tall dark forest, constantly watching, staring down at him restlessly with their empty white eyes.

Their voices were soft and hushed, but together formed a chorus of grating vocals, subtly excruciating to listen to like the silence in a pitch-black room.

_Kira, Kira, Kira, Kira._

Light soon found himself unable to sleep once again.

* * *

There was a familiar black notebook sitting there on the desk.

Light stared at it apprehensively for a moment. There was nothing else unusual in the room. No shadow people leering at him.

Flipping it open, the crisp white pages were blank, but about half of them had been torn out. Light scowled at it in vain – how had this got here? After collecting up all of those  _accusatory_  pages strewn about the club room, he'd taken the notebook in the middle of the pile and thrown it away immediately.

"Still around, Ryuzaki?" Light sneered to the empty room. "If you have something to say, you can say it in person."

Reaching the back of the book, he noticed that there was something there after all. It was a short note written in English.

**From M.**

Narrowing his eyes at the strange message, Light placed the notebook into his desk drawer, hoping but rationally suspecting otherwise that it would be forgotten soon enough.

* * *

**Topic: Kira findings**

**[L]  
** **Posted: 04/09/14**

**As has no doubt been speculated already, the new chain of killings moving suddenly to Austria suggest that Kira may have changed location. I would like to know your thoughts on this.**

**[meltychocol4te]**

**I think you're useless, L. You've made no progress at all. You should stop wasting our time with all of this.**

**[wrappingribbon555]**

**I kinda doubt you could do better [meltychocol4te].**

**[apollonia]**

**no, I agree. L is useless. In fact, I want Kira to win. Kira's already won!**

Even here, a board not officially dedicated to Kira, support was spreading. Light grinned triumphantly as he read the comments piling in. Pretending to be L, while little more than amusement to him, also served the importance of spreading news on the Kira case to the innumerable many who had looked to that mysterious, anonymous figure in support and awe.

Crushing L's reputation was only a bonus.

**[N]**

**Put the pieces together, L number two. You haven't seen it yet.**

Light was snapped out of his thoughts as he noticed the strange response on the screen.  _Number two?_   _How did this person...?  
_ White bathed the room in its glow as one by one, each screen blanked completely like sheets of paper hanging against the wall. A single black calligraphic letter displayed in their centers, but it wasn't the one he was already acquainted with.

**Put the pieces together.**

The voice that sounded from every screen at once in an accusing chorus, soft and androgynous, seemed to thrum inside his ears, inside his head. Light bit back a thrilling sense of nostalgia at this direct challenge, coveting that letter with his eyes, unable to tear them away.  
It was then that out of the corner of his vision he noticed something, looked down to see a small pile of blank white puzzle pieces scattered across the desk. Even though there was nobody there in the room with him, no shadows lingering, Light felt what could only be described as a face staring into the inside of his mind, and knew he was being watched.

"Alright,  _N,_ " he answered coolly, and began to slide the pieces into place with little difficulty.

There weren't enough to make much of a shape – only the beginning of a corner. With each puzzle piece he put down, sensation grew foggier, bit by bit. The faint sense of slowly returning to reality, of the dreamy daze inflicted by those eyes staring into his mind unraveling. With the last one put into place, a set of black letters appeared across the unfinished puzzle fragment.

**you're slipping**

Light woke to find his head laying on the desk, screens all dark. The dizziness faded and clarity finally cut through the sudden drowsy wave. The puzzle pieces were gone.

* * *

_It was only when Light tried to imagine it he found that, like a ghost, that face had long vanished from his mind's eye._


	27. Formula of Fear

_The river dividing the realms of the living and the dead was managed by Charon, the ferryman of Hades._

_A coin left in the mouths of the dead was intended to be his payment in the afterlife, and anyone unable to pay for passage would be left to wander aimlessly the border between living and death._

_Shame no one'd stuck around to leave Ryuzaki his coin._

* * *

Picture after picture, name after name.

First, it was tidy routine, it was there to fill a vacancy and it ascended over merely that, built above and beyond. Soon, it was the height of godliness. 

Nobody else could do it. Nobody but Kira. None other had been chosen for this.

Light grit his teeth, suffering the after-effects of trying to surpass the last number killed again. It didn't matter if it hurt now, because it was the only way to get stronger. His hand balled into a fist as he tried to ignore the searing pain, and as his fingers shifted they brushed against a sudden smooth, cold sensation. Opening his eyes, Light noticed his hand lying on top of that black notebook, splayed open and displaying its blank pages.

He narrowed his eyes at it, but something else then caught his attention. Standing at the end of the desk was a shadow staring at him with a gaping expression that slowly twisted into a familiar face.

A name appeared along the neatly-ruled lines:  **Otoharada Kurou.**

More shadows, more familiar faces, appearing one after another, and the crisp white pages were rapidly tainted with scrawled letters, flipping wildly with each one completed. The names of every person Kira had ever sentenced to death was there, more pages filling the paltry number remaining as they ran out.

Light was about to cry out, to yell at them to stop, to get away, but then he saw the names; the sheer number of people he had put to death. The sheer amount of difference he had made. There was no regret in being Kira. There never was.  
He burst out laughing. "Go on, write all your names down. What is this, a petition for Kira's execution? Maybe it would mean something if all of you were still alive!"

"Light, are you okay? I thought I heard something." It was his mother's voice – shit, he'd thought she hadn't come home yet.

Shadows slowly tearing away from his vision, Light rubbed at his temples until everything returned to normal, catching his breath as the dull headache began to subside. He grabbed the notebook, which was still full of names, and shoved it into his bag, along with a few other things. "I'm fine," he called back after leaving the room.

"Are you going somewhere?" His mother asked as she saw him heading towards the front door.

"Just going somewhere to catch up on studying," Light lied easily, and walked out.

As he hid alone and watched Ryuzaki's black notebook go up in flames, he heard the laughter of a hundred million voices seeping out from the cracks in the walls around him, a sea of beady white eyes forming an enthusiastic audience.

When the damned thing was nothing but ashes at last, Light stood up, smiled, and took a bow.

* * *

A gaunt face pulled severely by stress, hollowed out under tired eyes with dark circles. Sickly hair, uncared for and untrimmed, falling unintentionally into his vision.

Light looked back at his reflection and grinned. It was hard not to, after everything. Slipping?  _Was_  he slipping away? Into what? _Madness?_  Of course not. All that mattered was his mind, and if it couldn't quite handle all the shit it had seen recently, then that was too bad. Even if it didn't – couldn't – show on his body, Light was still in control. He was  _always_  in control.

_Always. Always, always._

_Finally,_  unlike before. He would keep passing judgement as Kira until he dropped dead if need be. It was all that mattered.

Light rubbed at his eyes, heading over to the bed. He saw a couple shadows sitting on the desk swinging their legs cheerfully, one a drug dealer and the other a drink driver. He flipped them both off with an equally cheerful smile before sitting down and taking out the new sleeping pills he'd bought from the bedside drawer, swallowing a few down with a glass of water and getting under the covers.

* * *

Planes of black sand shore stretched endlessly on either side of the horizon as far as the eye could see. Shallow pits trailed out behind from where weary feet had left them as they wandered in the sweltering heat towards the dark waters ahead. Light looked up into the sunless sky, blood-red and overwhelmingly scorching, but was soon forced to avert his gaze as his vision strained under the burning rays from above. Tentatively, he walked closer to the riverbank, staring out into the distance expectantly.

He was alone, but not for long, as the flickering swirls in the humid air began to form into drifting bodies of shadow like smudged fingerpaintings that drifted aimlessly across the coal-black land, their faces drooping and resigned.

Something appeared out there on the horizon; a silhouette of a vessel slowly nearing. Light watched as it docked on the shore, a curled boat manned by an odd, spindly creature shaped somewhat like a human, staring at him with beady eyes the hue of the sky above. Holding onto a long oar for steering, the ferryman waited for his client's query with a knife-sharp grin.

"I need to get across, don't I?" Light asked.

The blue-skinned creature cackled in a rust-textured voice. "You just opened your mouth now, Yagami Light – interesting first name ya got there, real original, think I last saw it on a hippy lady who died of drug overdose in the sixties – and I don't think I saw any coin inside. Keeping it in your pocket?"

Light froze in panic, searching all over his body. He was wearing a simple white burial kimono, and there was nothing hidden anywhere.

"Tsk tsk," the ferryman clicked, shaking his head. "How's a Shinigami to make a living?"

Light looked around him at the wandering, featureless spirits that were drifting without purpose, and swallowed.

"Why the look, human?" The Shinigami mocked. "It's only a hundred years of pacing the shores back and forth!" He burst into a fit of cackles.

"There's – there's no other way?" Light pleaded, skin prickling as the featureless inhabitants of the shores began to crowd behind him, outstretching long three-fingered arms.

"Well," the Shinigami mused, tapping at his bloated mouth with a long, sharp claw, "I guess there is a  **bargain**  you and I could make, human."

"What... what is it?"

"You'll get across the river," a smirk followed, "one way or another, that's my guarantee. But it'll cost you..."

Light furrowed his brows. "I... I don't have anything. Do you mean... my soul?"

The Shinigami laughed again, pointing at Light's chest. "Oh, I don't care about that withered old thing inside you. No, what we're bargaining with here is your... let's put it this way: life."

"Life...? But aren't I..."

"Half of your... life. That's what it'll cost you."

Light frowned, knowing this deal didn't sound too secure, but he had little choice with the horde of shadow people still creeping up on him, pressing him to make his decision. "Fine, I... I accept."

The Shinigami cackled, and swung his steering oar above the water, revealing the blade of a scythe on the other end. Light had no time to think or react as a piercing pain shot through his middle and blood poured down onto the sand like a waterfall. All he could hear through his own screaming was wild cackling as the two separated halves of his body were grabbed up by the tide and pulled in. Slowly, with his throat scratching itself raw, Light began to bob across the dark water, vision fading in and out sporadically.

There was a hand on his chest, and Light managed to turn his head, eyes meeting another pair of hollow white ones gazing up at him from beneath.

And another pair, and another pair.

As the river of shadow people pulled him in, his scream was muted by their slimy fingers.

* * *

Light awoke with a jump, finding his mouth pressed against his pillow, muffling his screaming. He sat up, looking around the thankfully-empty room, and let out a long sigh.

There was a stab of pain in his gut and Light pulled up his shirt to notice a thin red line circling around his lower abdomen – the place he'd been cut across in the dream – and held his breath, blinking to make sure it was really there. His vision was swirling, and, one by one, stringy black stitches appeared around the rim, blood seeping out through the cracks.

Clasping a hand over his mouth to stop another scream, Light shook his head violently and the hallucination was gone.

Maybe sleep was out of the question after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just 5 chapters left! :U!  
> mum gtfo, I'm trying to kill people in my room. :/


	28. Dream Stalker

**[Dr3amCarnival]**

**It's clear now that there is nothing that can stand in Kira's way.**

**[mistysky]**

**kira will continue to punish bad people no matter what.**

**[wonderQueen]**

**it's not even fun to root for L anymore, honestly. he's just become useless and there's no way he can put up much of an opposition anymore.**

A blur. Lucidity warping like streams of paint mixing together. Eyes belonging to somebody else, somewhere, opening.

**[N]**

**Put the pieces together.**

There it was again. The screens were quick to blank once more, displaying the letter of their namesake. Light was expecting it this time, and was prepared to respond. Somebody was behind this, and it was time to try and get some answers.

 _I know you're watching, N,_  he told the invisible face staring into his mind. At first there was only stillness, and no response. Light grinned, amused.  _What's the matter? Not going to talk? You're pitiful for L's replacement._

**You never requested a chat until now, Kira.**

That voice spoke out through his head again, soft yet in no way weak. So, N was willing to talk.

 _Well, consider one requested. You could say I'm interested, N. To be doing this, after all, you have to be like me._  Perhaps not possessing the same ability to kill, but N was another psychic nonetheless.

**You'll find we're rather different; homicidal intentions being the biggest item on the list for comparison.**

_So, let me ask. You wouldn't happen to know an 'M'?_

**Oh, wonderful. I knew he'd get up to something. I'm guessing he decided to let loose all those angry spirits at you.**

_You can tell him that all the company is rather flattering, but I like to value my privacy in the shower._

**I'm sure we'll have a word or two. You might be surprised to learn that we're not particularly affiliated. I did suggest working together, but I don't know why I even bothered.**

_Oh, I never would have guessed with the naming theme._  Even though Light couldn't see N, their minds were connected through this link, and that was a dangerous, stupid risk for his new self-proclaimed opponent to be taking.

**Kira, don't even try it. I know you won't be able to kill me.**

_I suppose I should've figured you'd hear that._  It was true. The signal was too faint to properly grab onto as of now, but whether N would later become careless enough to take any further risk could only be told by time.

**Oh, yes. And I can hear plenty more than that. Even things you don't particularly want to hear yourself.**

_Is that so?_

**That voice, Kira, that you've suffocated for so long, the one that used to be you.**

_I'm surprised it has anything to say. You mean to tell me it stops blithering long enough to make engaging conversation?_

Light focused for a second, mind finding a stray hook and latching on long enough to catch it and pull. There was a faint choke on the other end of the proverbial phone line, a gasp of pain just like he'd predicted.

**Thanks for the little brain freeze there. I enjoy your choice of landscapes, despair, death and narcissism never get old. But is it really necessary to have your shirt open while posing around them like that?**

_Personalized images give that nice cosy touch, and... good abs are just good abs._

**I'm not sure what was more traumatizing - the entrails of your dismembered enemies or that odd mole on your left nipple.**

Another catch, another, sharper gasp of pain. Those eyes inside his mind were wishing they'd never come looking.

 _ **T...Touchy subject...?**_  N's voice was strained.

_You don't know what you're getting yourself into._

**Listen. Just listen to me. I know you still -**

_Yes, I intend to listen to you, I just don't intend to give a shit about anything you say._

**Only you can stop yourself, Kira. And if you don't want to listen to me, then I suppose there's no point in me going and sulking about it, because I never had very high hopes for you in the first place. Where M is clearly trying to torment you into guilt, _I'm_  trying to help you rea -**

* * *

_Hey._

_Neeeeeeear._

_Near, quit playing with your dolls already._

_Hey, you listening? You always look seriously creepy when you do that._

"Oi!  _ **Nate!**_ _"_

Near jumped and whirled around furiously, concentration broken. "What?" he groaned at Matt, who had suddenly decided to intrude into his room.

"You've seriously gotta stop hanging out with serial killers. Hey, Josh just ate an entire caterpillar outside and hasn't puked yet, come see."

"Gross. Please leave me alone, I need to -"

The other scoffed, leaning against the door frame. "What, leave more vague cryptic bullshit messages? Yeah, that's gonna get Kira to start hugging trees."

Near narrowed his eyes, irritated. "I don't see _you_  coming up with any plans to stop him. You told me you had some kind of power too, but never what it was."

Matt looked away sheepishly. "Well, you know how I always roll the exact number I want in Mario Party...?"

"...Seriously? That's it?" ... _I've always been suspicious of that._

"Hey, it's useful!"

Near sighed, rubbing at his temples. "Forget what I said, then."

"Hey, I know what cryptic bullshit message you should send next. 'Kira you suck, stop killing people it's mean.'

"No."

Matt tilted his head, taking a second to think, and Near rolled his eyes internally as he heard the other's mind starting to come up with a hundred different puns or shitty obscure music references.

"Okay, fine then," he decided at last, "How about 'Falling down'?"

Near paused for a moment. "Hmm. That actually works. Thanks."

Matt left him alone with a grin and Near linked himself back in.

* * *

**I apologize for the disruption.**

_So, what was that about me taking you seriously again?_

**...My brain wifi signal dropped. Now shut up and take your puzzle pieces, you prissy mass-murderer.**

More white pieces were spread across the desk, where the completed section from last time still remained.

**you're slipping, and soon, you'll be**

Waking up lying with his head down again, Light simply laughed to himself. N was pathetic, M was pathetic, and Kira would take the world with little opposition.


	29. Falling Down

Someone's misfortune is always the reverse for somebody else.

The Gates were wide open. While the humans up on the surface were eager to celebrate and gorge themselves on sugar, in truth this day belonged to the dead - their sole holiday, the sole reprieve from their stale existence cramped behind bars.

For Sidoh, at least, this meant lots of peace and quiet. An easy night, most usually spent nodding off to sleep and enjoying the silence.

But for everyone else - for the humans on the surface, it was never certain to say. While they were rarely the objects of interest to whimsical spirits, tonight was different. Tonight, they were purposeful, whispering amongst themselves excitedly. In the center of their ring, mirthful and mad, a girl dressed for a funeral watching the clock intently, waiting for the  _Hour,_ that time when no spirit can be stopped; waiting for the moment to finally break free.

* * *

**Topic: My conclusions on the New Kira case.**

**[L]  
** **Posted: 04/10/31**

**As you are all aware, little progress, if any at all has been made on this case so far. I promised that I would expose the person behind this.**

**Well, as you all are most likely not aware, I am a liar.**

**Lies, lies, lies. Hey, you know, that word starts with an L. Lie. Coincidence? Nope. I'm afraid the jig's been up since the very beginning. Not my fault you were all too simple to join the dots. Whoops!**

**So now, on to my second point. Another little thing that you probably didn't know about me, and I'd like to shake your hand if you did.**

**I'm Kira.**

**Yep, that's right! Special K, Mr. Glitter, it's me. Bet you all feel silly. But that's okay, because there's just one last very important thing you all need to know, too.**

**I'm dead.**

**In fact, I've been dead for a while now. It hasn't made my arthritis any better – though I doubt many of you care too much about the wellbeing of a serial killer.**

**Well, that'll be all now. Happy Halloween, suckers.**

Light sat at his computer, messy uncut hair brushing the top of his hunched back. Upon posting the topic, he stared at the screen for a second, reading over what he'd written a few more times, before bursting into a fit of laughter. It really was amazing, the charade he'd managed to keep up all this time. Keeping the Internet and the world thinking that the battle between Kira and L was still ongoing. But now, he'd just gotten tired. It was time to say bye.

Perhaps it was fitting that it would be the last time he'd see that letter on his screen again. No illusory message on the boards this time, only the one screen directly in front blanking into white; the light shining at the end of a dark tunnel. A single opponent blocking the way to freedom.

_So you're back._

**Happy Halloween, Kira.**

Light glanced at his computer's clock to see that it was now just after midnight, but indeed, the date had changed.

_Well, isn't it nice of you to show up at such short notice just to greet me, N?_

**I don't have much to say this time, I'm afraid. Only a little bit of trivia, perhaps.**

_Oh? Good to know you won't be wasting my time for too long, then._

**I'm sure you may know already, but you could say it's just a little reminder to prepare your heart, Kira. Today is the day when the links between the spirit world and the living world are at their weakest. I'm sure they'll be only too eager to let you join in their festivities. I have little doubt they'll be so generous as to throw you a party.**

_Sounds like something to look forward to. Is that all then, N?_

**If I recall correctly, in your timezone, it's rather late at night, isn't it?**

_It's a little past midnight._

**Well, I'm sure somebody as smart as you can figure out what I mean by that. Now, all I ask is that you put together the last few pieces. You know they'll be there.**

A pause.

**I have little doubt that this is goodbye, Kira. But don't worry.**

_Hmm?_

**I'm sure she'll come and say hello soon.**

The last few pieces slotted into place, and the full message was there.

**you're slipping, and soon you'll be falling down.**

* * *

Light became dimly aware of his aching head against the hard floor, limbs lying sprawled out in an unnatural position. He could feel the tip of one foot against the bottom of his desk and realised he must have fallen down from his chair while asleep as he slowly returned to consciousness, still dancing around on the border between dreams and reality.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

A dull, persistent throbbing at his temples.

Attempting to move, he found his limbs weighed down impossibly, unmoving and solid as bricks. Fixed in place on his back, Light struggled to breathe against a pressure in his chest; a tight constriction leaving precious little room for air. The pounding refused to cease, rhythm picking up in pace with each shallow, panicked breath drawn in.  
Light's eyes snapped open at last as an indubitable weight, heavy and urgent like a warning siren pervaded the air; the feeling of a sudden presence inside the room - unable to do anything but search with his eyes, Light scoured every corner he could reach, but saw nothing there. No shadow people. No N, no M.  
He tried to relax, but the pressure was crushing down like ten tons on top of his chest, unmoveable and malevolent, and the constant pounding reflecting his racing pulse was ready to admit to the fear his mind wasn't. His eyes squeezed shut again despite himself, its taste on his tongue unfamiliar and unwanted.

A trail of ice, starting as little more than the weight of a fingernail's point at the edge of a collarbone, slid up his neck. Silvery, cool pinpricks followed it, feather-light tips, before all at once coarse palms shoved in, constricting his throat like a tightlaced corset. Light's eyes were quick to snap open again, and found themselves mirrored by reflectionless black ones.

He screamed and screamed but nothing came out as spidery fingers throttled him, fingers belonging to a face determined to stare him down to death. A violently hunched, sharp figure sitting crouched on his chest, crushing it inwards with impassive countenance.

_This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't be -_

A black mark, like a crack, appeared against translucent white skin and spread like ink to water, dying the familiar image in front of him into darkness. It spread across the entirety of that pale body, and against a backdrop of shadow, a wide, knife-sharp grin that didn't belong on the features it had claimed appeared, as if to say  _goodnight_  - even shutting his eyes again couldn't save Light from that unblinking, fishlike gaze, and as his lungs gasped, ready to surrender -

The pressure lifted.

Light opened his eyes, and Ryuzaki was gone.

But, circled round and piling upon each other, distinctly-faced and jeering were an army of shadow people, each grinning as if to suit a festive mood. The room around them was twisted; lines tapering off into gnarled swirls, colours washed into dreary greys, as if it had been decorated especially for the occasion.

" _Kira, Kira, Kira,_ " they chanted, and Light was unable to break free, holed in the middle like a game of  _Kagome Kagome_  as their long arms reached out and gripped him in place.

Mouths gaped impossibly, and the nauseous scent of sugar filled the air as an innumerable amount of sweets plunged out of their mouths like vomit, piling up rapidly in the small enclosed hollow that trapped him. Gummy eyeballs in a variety of colours. Jelly spiders of varying sizes. Piles upon piles of candy corn, gooey gummy brains. Light strained to keep his chin above the tide of rising candies, but as the waterfalls continued to flow and pile into mountains, he was unable to prevent himself from drowning.

A clammy, clawed hand pried open his mouth, bitterness pervading his tongue in full force as he choked back on the flood, gagging against the nauseating, coppery taste so completely opposite to its appearance. No sugar, only a sickening, unnameable flavour -

The mouths closed, the hand pulled away, and as a creeping sensation of sticky dampness began to pour over Light's body, the shadows giggled and cackled like a gathering of witches. Sticky, coppery blackness caught red in the glow of shining hordes of eyes seeping from every corner, from every formerly sugary item packed into the circle - eyeballs, black, bloodshot and lightless stared up at him, threaded amongst stringy brains and countless disgusting yellow teeth.

Light choked and hacked, now panting and gasping over the toilet bowl in front of him. His eyes widened as he came back to what now felt to be reality, mouth and throat drenched through with the taste of sickening sweetness. Strewn around him on the floor were piles of Halloween sweets, almost all unwrapped and devoured.

 _I was really... But when did I...?_ What was a dream, and what was reality? What could be trusted?

_I have little doubt they'll be so generous as to throw you a party._

Getting up and rinsing his mouth out through shaky vision as thoroughly as possible, Light looked into the mirror and didn't see himself. Which was odd to say, seeing as it was, in fact, himself – only grinning, tidy, and strangely red-eyed. It really brought out the shade of his hair, actually.

"We're going for a walk," Kira said, and Light found himself nodding in agreement. Why wouldn't you do what you told yourself to? He was no procrastinator, and proudly so. A walk certainly sounded like a fine idea.

* * *

" _It looks like you brought your coin this time, huh, Light?" The Shinigami cackled, eyeing the shining golden... chocolate coin in his hand._

" _You could say that." Light shrugged._

" _Oh, don't worry, it counts well enough," the Shinigami assured him. "Well, get in the boat, now. There's a long line waiting behind you and they haven't got all afterlife."_

_Following the Shinigami's directions, Light stepped into the boat and sat down as it began to move through the river of shadow bodies silently._

" _Hey, human. It's pretty interesting, you know."_

" _What are you talking about, Shinigami?"_

_"Now, I don't mean to be rude or anything," the Shinigami said, scratching his head, "but it's just that you're very... well, not dead."_

_Light frowned, confused. "I'm..._ not?  _Then what am I doing here?"_

" _I forgot, actually. Hang on, let me check." A feathery wing sprouted from the Shinigami's back and took over the steering while he reached down to a studded belt where a black-bound book was holstered. "Let's see," the Shinigami mumbled to himself, holding it open. On the front in strange white letters was printed '_ Death Note _'._

" _It really has that descriptive of a title?" Light pointed out, amused._

_His observation was dismissed. "Ah. Under the '18 years' section of humans... Man, pan-language alphabetical order is a pain in the ass to make sense of. Ah, yes. Right here. Yep, you're not dead, Yagami Light. But..." the Shinigami stopped there, chuckling scratchily to himself._

" _But what?"_

_The boat was quickly approaching a gaping vortex at the end of the river. The Shinigami leaned over, holding the notebook open in front of Light. His eyes were instinctively drawn towards his own name, next to which something was written, pulsing with urgency in bright red:_

**TO DIE: VERY SOON.**

* * *

As the pages stopped fluttering, the endless audience of shadows cheered and jeered. The lone name written across the page, his own name, was forced into his vision from the notebook hanging there by their countless spindly fingers. The freezing wind jerked Light back to reality, whipping round his thin clothes and through his hair, plastering it to his face. He felt his bare feet against cold concrete, inches away from the edge of a sharp drop.

Below, countless starry points, the scores of lights that made up the city shining a long, long way down.

Light panicked all at once, jerking backwards, but collided with something behind him. He whirled around, wild-eyed, and came face-to-face with his death.

Voluminous golden curls underneath the shade of a lace-edged parasol. A slender waist curved at the ends into a delicate bell-shaped skirt, ruffle-trimmed and pristinely kept. From under the scoring of a black net veil, a painted mouth greeted Light with a smile.

"Misa?" He breathed frantically, but there was no response. Light gasped as he felt his leg shake of its own accord, attempting to move.  _"Kira, Kira, Kira,"_  the crowd of shadows chanted as they forced him closer to the edge.

"No, stop!" Light cried out as shadowy hands shoved him. "I can't die! I don't wanna die!"

" _Now you'll join us, Kira."_

Misa's smiling, silent face was the last one he saw before he finally teetered and took a dive off the edge, screaming and laughing all the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> always wanted to write a sleep paralysis scene where L is the figure sitting on the chest (something common in sleep paralysis reports apparently, never had it myself thank god .A.) and being freaky etc after light kills him. if I hadn't put it here I would've wanted to write one in canon verse... .v.


	30. Out of the Dark

_L..._

_L Lawliet._

_Thin cracks spread across the headstone, and there was a_ _**smash** _ _as it crumbled to the ground. Near was smiling at him. "You won."_

_L's hands dropped from the rope, and he fell down as the stand and frame disappeared. The rope, however, remained, untying its knot and stretching out like a snake, growing longer and longer in front of his eyes._

" _Time to say goodbye," Near said, still standing by the pile of rubble. "But just for now. After all," he pointed towards it. "You said no to your own death."_

_Blinking back at the other, L gazed upwards and saw the rope had extended like a cord into the sky._

_Near pointed to it. "Hold on tight."_

_Unthinking, L took hold of the rope and cried out in surprise as it pulled him up off the ground and into the sky. As he rose far above, holding on quite literally for dear life, he saw Near waving at him from down below, and reached out one arm in order to wave back, smiling._

_Until the cord yanked him up with even greater force and speed and he had to hold on tightly with both arms, vision dizzying as he flew up, unable to see anything but the blindingly white sky._

* * *

_Is he really...?_

_Finally! I think he's -_

_After six years! I can't believe it! Hopefully there shouldn't be any major damage..._

_You think he'll finally get to tell us whatever his name is?_

Blinding white. White was what filled his vision as it slowly returned when he tried to open his eyes. White, beginning to solidify into patterned tiles on a ceiling.

L couldn't help but wonder what exactly he had just been doing.

* * *

Being alive. Breathing unconsciously. A heartbeat that served a purpose. It was all a bit disorienting, and L wasn't sure he entirely liked it.

Sadly, it seemed that nobody gave out lollipops for being brave after you got out of a coma. Finding something sugary to eat was now his number one priority once he got out of here.

Finally leaving the hospital room and walking down freely in his own, living body, it seemed a million senses that he'd forgotten about overwhelmed him at once. Temperature – the heat of his own body. Texture. Discomfort – the distinct feeling of being horribly unclean. The hospital slippers trapping his feet. Simple sensations, like the brushing of his hair against his face, strands slipping in front of his eye and needing to be pushed away. These things were easy to forget when your spirit was kept present only by the enduring desire to remain, and nothing else.

Passing another room as he walked down the hallway, L noticed a flash of auburn hair against a hospital bed, bandages wrapped around skin that had once been tanned, but looked as if it hadn't seen the sun for some time, tinged sickly-hued with blood. L couldn't help but smile to himself.

It seemed that Kira was doing well these days.


	31. Break My Soul

Their painted eyes never had seemed fake.

Near observed the row of carefully-created finger-puppets lined up on the shelf. There was one for every child in the house, the expression of each seeming to channel something of the individual's personality. They were his windows, after all – windows he'd created to allow him access into others' minds without having to be present in the same room.

It was late, and the eyes of the sensible ones currently in bed were peacefully closed.

A certain puppet, white-bodied and dark-haired with a letter printed on the front had opened his eyes all of a sudden, for the first time, and Near smiled. He looked forward to being able to meet him again soon.

A different puppet had closed his eyes for the first time. There was a red mark on his head and red on his body, which had been marked with ' _Kira_ ', but was now mysteriously absent of the name.

Near narrowed his eyes at the puppet warily, slowly taking it from the shelf and placing it on his finger. Instantly, a shiver ran through his body. There was a conflict currently raging on inside Kira's mind. There was a chance that he, like L formerly, would be unable to find his way out and fall down once more, for the final time. That idiot really was stubborn, very much like a certain other difficult individual Near could recall.

Just that simple minuscule sensation of Kira's mind was enough to make his head start to hurt again. It was enough to bring back flashes of the terrible things he'd had to see and wade through just to dig that smug little fucker out for a chat. It wasn't nice, and if Near hadn't been pushing himself as far as possible every single time, he realised, the damage could have been much worse. Who knew what venturing inside that horrible place one more time could possibly bring? But, if he didn't, there was a good chance that in the conflict he'd created, Kira would destroy himself. He would not wake up from this.

And Near knew somebody who wouldn't take the news very well. He sighed, taking off the finger puppet. That thing was nasty.

Near remembered how he'd once looked up to L and idolized how smart he was, or at least had seemed to be to his five-year-old-self. Any intelligence that he supposedly possessed was more than questionable at the moment considering his...  _dubious_  choice in romantic interests (no matter  _how_  perfect their hair).

Yet Near had felt it in Kira's mind, too. A faint, repressed memory under tight lock and key of how happy he had been when they were together for that brief amount of time. Both their feelings were entirely genuine.

 _One last time,_  Near told himself as he put back on the Kira finger-puppet, closed his eyes, and curled it into his palm.

L had better get him a new Twister mat for this.

* * *

The sea of hands from the whirlpool vortex were grabbing out, pulling him in, each and every gaping mouth screaming his name. Before losing his arms to their suffocating grip, Light only just managed to throw them around the curled end of the boat with all his strength, keeping himself from being lost to the world of the dead. But more hands rose up from the ocean of Kira's sacrifices around the Shinigami's vessel, grabbing onto the other end and pulling it in the opposite direction.

"Ugh...!" It was difficult for Light to keep holding on, body stretching painfully in the hands' tug of war. His own strength was nothing except the strength to keep on living, and it was rapidly dwindling.

"Even after all this, you're still gonna pretend there's something worth living for?" the Shinigami cackled, staring down at Light mockingly with his bulging red eyes. "C'mon, you've got a lot of friends down there waiting to see you. No need to worry about being lonely."

"I... I can't." Light choked out, still holding on with all his strength. "I don't want to die! Please!"

The Shinigami grinned in amusement, placing a clawed hand on his hip. "Good manners don't count for a whole lot down here, you'll find. Sorry, but when it's your time, it's your time."

A burst of added exhilaration ran through Light at this, lending him conviction. "It's... but it's  _ **not**_  my time! You have to understand!"

"I think it's you who should start understanding. Because it's you... who sentenced yourself." The Shinigami's rough voice had become smooth all of a sudden, and Light blinked, seeing that the monstrous feathery creature was no longer standing there. It was a young, pale-haired boy dressed in white, still holding onto the oar-scythe that had been there. He reached the blunt end out to Light and let him hold on.

Even though Light had never seen this boy before, that voice was unmistakable.

" _You...!_ "

Near's eyes were sharp; taunting and challenging despite their soft hue, despite him having finally revealed himself, left completely open to Kira's mind. "This is your final battle, Kira. I'm afraid there's not much I can do to help aside from letting you know you can pull yourself out."

Light gripped the end of the scythe harder but the shadows' hold had become stronger, and he knew there was no way he could keep holding on.

_Kira, Kira, Kira._

"The souls calling out behind you - they want Kira. Isn't that correct?"

"What else would they want?!" Light snapped, straining in discomfort. Sweat was drenching his hands, making them slip, forcing him to hold on with his elbows.

Near's calm voice cut again through the shadows' chanting. "Well, answer me this.  _Are_  you?"

"Am I what? Kira?"

The other stared.

Light scoffed. "Well, what does it  _look_  like?!"

"To me, it looks like a very frightened person whom you once were and desperately discarded for the sake of convenience, and for whom it is certainly not yet the time to die. And somewhere in there, you know it best, Yagami Light."

Light's face strained violently, and though Near had already braced himself, he wasn't prepared for the sheer pain that stabbed through his mind. His body flickered for a moment as he fought to stay connected, forcing out the sudden intrusion. He had to stay calm. He could do this, he'd done it before – he could match Kira, he could fight off Kira.

"Then you'll die too,  _N_! You'll join me down here!" Kira laughed, and Near had to bite back a scream as burning seared through his head.

"Is this what you see as 'winning'?!" Near was struggling to stand, holding onto the scythe – the other's only way out – with all he had. "If you don't take this chance, you'll die! How long ago was it that you were screaming that you didn't want to?! Stop this!" But he was forced to his knees as the next wave hit, almost enough to destroy his projection altogether. He was quickly losing power, and knew there was no way out. It was all or nothing now, or he couldn't win.

Summoning every last bit of strength, Near burst through the jagged tendrils curling round his mind and pushed back, despite the sheer strain it caused. This was it – his only chance. He snatched at the first memory he could find, a soft, small thing tucked away behind the jaws of Kira's cage, and forced him to remember.

_Light was trying not to make a fuss as he begrudgingly let plaster after plaster be placed on his face, about as fed up as it was possible to be with the obvious amusement the other was displaying as he worked._

_The next plaster was placed with a gentle brush of cool fingers against his face. For a second, Ryuzaki seemed almost nervous, and as the next one came, he was careful not to let them touch again, unable to meet Light's eyes for a short while._

Light was frozen in place, eyes wide. Even the shadows had stopped, perhaps sensing the change in character taking place. Near saw this opportunity; this moment of weakness, holding on and refusing to let go.

_You'll... keep me here, won't you?_

_I was bored too, Light-kun._

_Light-kun will die too._

_Perhaps I would take Kira-kun seriously if he looked a little less like a grumpy kitten right now._

_I wouldn't mind falling asleep if I could be like this._

_Light-kun is what keeps me here._

Light was screaming now, screaming louder with the fragment of each memory, but Near persisted despite the pain assaulting him until it was too much to bear and let go of the scythe as he collapsed, black overtaking his vision.

* * *

Flickering between realities, gasping as if drowning, Near reached out for the first puppet he could grab, vaguely registering its blonde head and cocky expression, and let his mind scream before everything faded away.

_**HELP.** _


	32. Enjoy the Silence

Kira's eyes were open today.

Lying in bed, he could be seen from the shelf. Near thought he looked rather nervous, and supposed the reason why, after all, was fairly obvious. Near grinned to himself knowingly.

But then a stab of pain hit his mind, a flash of blood and pride and  _Shinigami_  and  _Ohgod_ _whatthefuckisthatnononono_  - and he burrowed back under his covers, heaving in and out, trying to forget the image he had just remembered. He was just lucky that he'd been able to recover like this – and with the company of an old friend, as well.

Footsteps approached the door, and there was a knock. Knowing who it was already, Near made a sleepy noise in response and sat back up as that friend entered the room.

"You'd better take this off me soon, I think the smell of health is postponing my death by diabetes already." L, holding a tray of soup, was quick to make his way over through the large room and set it down.

Near rolled his eyes, shifting the tray into a comfortable position. "So eager for another game with death after you barely won your first go with it?" The other hummed vaguely in response, not really listening. Near noticed that L was looking just a little too impassive right now; too blank and carefully controlled. Oh yes - he was certainly worried about something too, and Near didn't even have to read his thoughts to know what it was, but decided to do it anyway just to see how much of a lovesick fool the other was really being.

_I'm... really meeting Light-kun again today. There are so many ways this could go wrong. I've already mapped out each and every single one of them, and they all end terribly. Yes, I'm convinced there's not even a one percent chance that he'll still like me. Or that he ever liked me at all. Ugh, I need to stop worrying about that and just hope we can even be friends. If he's not still a giant prick, which I kind of doubt is going to change any time soon. Well, I'd rather he be a giant prick than Kira. Ah, what should I do... I kind of really want to kick him off a building again for everything he's done, but honestly, I just miss him so much already._

_If I knew what his favourite food was then I could make it for bribery purposes. I remember that lunch observation diary I made. He had different food every day of the week, but seemed to be more enthusiastic when eating beef. So there we go, I suppose. But that's no good if it's just something general like that. I need specifics here.  
_ _Hmm. I remember when he said he liked coffee cake, so maybe... Cream. Coffee cake with vanilla ice cream. Melted vanilla ice cream. Chocolate sauce drizzled on vanilla ice cream. And coffee cake too, I suppose. Dark chocolate coffee cake. Three layers of cream and a nice rich texture... maybe with a treacle filling. Mmm, coffee cake. You know what, I could use some. ...Oh. I was supposed to be thinking about Light-kun, wasn't I._

L must have noticed Near hiding a smile to himself after he finally disrupted this train of thought, because his face flushed furiously all of a sudden. "Yes, I know you were already going to ask me if I was nervous. You can stop poking around inside my head now."

Near raised an eyebrow. "I've done enough of that already that I have all the gritty details catalogued, so there's nothing to be worried about. Honestly."

"That would imply you went looking for them."

"No. Unfortunately, if you go 'poking' into someone's mind, as you put it, you're bound to stumble on something rather... traumatizing. Of course, Kira's mind was certainly the be-all and end-all of that particular subject... though I think there might be a few things I found knocking about around yours that might be worse."

L tilted his head at him.

Near frowned. "Like that thing with the ice cream cake."

L quickly stiffened. "What thing with the ice cream cake? There was no thing with the ice cream cake."

"If you insist, I can remind -"

"I don't even _like_  ice cream cake," L insisted, just a little too rapidly.

"Your favourite flavour is green tea, with chocolate mint topping and whip cream."

"Well, yes, if I had to pick one under pain of death..."

Appetizing images of the aforementioned dessert were running through L's mentally-drooling mind and Near rolled his eyes. "But I suppose that eating it off the body of a former serial killer was bound to change your negative opinion?"

L froze like a deer caught in the headlights. Moving almost in slow motion, he casually perched down on the edge of Near's bed and peered into his eyes almost threateningly. "It's really strange how just looking at you, I realise I can deduce a reasonable estimate for when it was that you stopped wetting the bed."

Shit. Even Mello didn't know that one. Near swallowed, wide-eyed. He didn't doubt L one bit. "...Oh. Was that the main doors closing downstairs?"

L ran – actually ran, fast enough to probably make his heart think it had been transplanted into someone else.

The room was silent for a little while. The door had been left open, and Near noticed Matt standing out in the hallway, staring in the direction L had just ran with wordless amazement. "So that's what the chance of finally getting some does to him," he mumbled.

Near decided to ask something that had been bugging him for a little while. "Matt, I was wondering. Any particular reason for 'Falling down'?"

Matt faced him, shrugging. "Oh. I just like Hybrid."

* * *

" _You're an idiot, you know that?"_

_Arms dragging him across the floor._

" _I'm sorry, you're going to have to tell me who's speaking. All I can currently see is a wall of decaying skulls and demented looking monsters made of eyes holding apples. Oh, maybe you're the grinning fleshy blob. Hello, blob. I know you're already halfway through with it, but please don't eat me."_

_Being picked up effortlessly, dropped against soft covers._

" _You went after him. I told you that shit would mess you up."_

" _If it's any consolation, my chances of remaining in a non-catatonic state for the rest of my life after this are minor, so there will be no need to constantly remind me how stupid I was."_

_A shake. "I made sure he got what was coming. But you have no one to blame for this but yourself."_

_Near screamed as another wave of pain hit, blood and black feathers, and pages upon pages upon pages, all bearing his name, filling the corners of his vision. A warehouse, a timer, an arrow, aiming for his heart._

_A sharp slap across his cheek, and reality flashed through, revealing the angry face looking down at him. "You're_ stronger  _than this."_

_That was... a new one. Quite possibly the first of Mello's jokes he'd ever consider laughing at._

" _I'm..." He shivered through the aftershocks, shivered and shivered - "when was I ever...?"_

" _You went up against the guy and survived. Barely, but you did. I doubt I could have. All I did was open the gates and let those pissed-off spirits do what they'd always been wanting to."_

_The small glimpse of reality and stability was short-lived, because the nightmares were back again in full force and his throat was scratching itself raw with noise._

_A cool sensation, like a marble against his forehead, a feathery creature looming over him, eyes glowing. The Shinigami did not speak, it merely obeyed its orders. "The worst of them can be sealed away. One by one, they will leave."_

_The marble began to burn, visions slicing in and out like a wildly flickering flame, and, one last time, he screamed._

_"You owe me for this, Nate."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more chapter! ;u;  
> matt can have the essex accent.


	33. Finished Symphony

Honestly, how had L ended up in this huge, fancy place? Were his jet-lagged eyes deceiving him?

It was one thing to have ended up being alive the entire time, apparently, as the email he'd sent claimed.

Oh well. Even if L lived in a mansion now, English weather was still terrible.

Light stared at the coffee cake left out on the table as he was led into the spacious hall.

* * *

It had been about as awkward as he'd expected, but L had  _really_  wanted to come out from where he was hiding and have some of that coffee cake. He really should have thought this out more carefully. It was disgraceful.

"Oh. Hello, Light-kun," he'd said in a casual tone, in the middle of placing a second slice onto his plate. "I hadn't quite noticed you were here yet." Luckily, eating meant you didn't have to speak, and good cake meant you didn't have to think particularly hard. Well, neither of them had actually said anything else yet. Having been left alone together, the silence between them and filling the hall was thick as custard.

Finally finishing his third slice of cake, L had no more excuse to focus his attention on and was forced to look at the other at last, a twinge of uneasiness hitting him in the gut as memory after memory began to return.

 _" **GET IN THERE!** "_ L heard the shout in unison and whirled around to see Matt and Mello standing behind the door frame at the other side of the room.

L spluttered hopelessly and hid his face in his hands, ears burning red. He'd have to think of some particularly creative retribution for those two little bastards later. Shooting them a look, they quickly scattered.

"Get in there? Get in where? We're already inside the house. I don't think I follow entirely. Must be slang, right?" Light asked, confused.

L sat back up, instantly composing himself again. Second languages were an unsung blessing. "Oh, nothing important. Would Light-kun like some coffee cake?"

Light frowned. "Oh. I thought that was for you."

"The best surprises are the ones you give yourself."

A silence followed.

"So. You haven't tried to kill me yet, Light-kun."

"You know I couldn't, even if I tried."

L smiled knowingly. "Yes, I hope the fake plane hijacking I organized for your trip here didn't cause too much trouble. By the way, you look terrible."

Despite the warm winter coat and scarf Light was neatly wrapped up in, his face told the entire story. Not to mention that he looked exhausted.  
At least, after he'd calmed down after hearing that first part - but seemed to simply accept it without much difficulty, most likely not entirely surprised after two false life-endangering scenarios too many.  _Most people_  just asked someone out when they liked them.  
"I guess insanity, temporary or otherwise, will do that to a person," He replied, rubbing slightly at his eyes. "...As well as a fake plane hijacking. Do you know the shitstorm that caused when I finally arrived? Took me ages to get through customs."

"Considering that, I suppose, you're actually looking okay."

"Thanks."

In the silence after that, eye contact was difficult to maintain. They both looked away from each other, L staring intently at the empty plate balanced on his knees. But he blinked in surprise as a gloved hand came and took it away, setting it down on the table nearby. Swallowing, L turned to look at Light again, at the hand that had only just brushed against him in that brief moment. The other lingered for a few seconds, still leaned over L as he'd moved in order to reach over, and quickly returned to his seat.

As they continued their conversation, they did not look at each other again at first.

"So, where were we?" L started, trying very hard to become interested in the wallpaper at the far side of the room. "You being a terrible person?"

"Oh, that. Well, at least it's some consolation to me that you are too."

L hid a smile. "Of course. It couldn't be any other way with us, could it?"

Another pause. He turned and came face-to-face with Light, who was now staring at him, mouth hanging open in hesitation. His eyes were surprisingly warm, and -  _nope, shit, not good. Stop that, now._  L needed Light to save that look for a time when he actually had the self control to deal with it.

Even from the beginning, they had never truly hated each other. They never could. And it was definitely too late to start trying to make himself hate the other now.

 _Time to change the topic._  "Insanity. Near had a lot to tell me."

"Near...?" Light's eyes widened. "N...I thought he had some connection to you, but..."

"I'll have to ask that you be civil if you end up meeting him later."

"I... think I'd rather not, for now. I'm not nearly awake enough to handle it."

L smiled. "Light-kun is tired?"

"Can't you tell?"

"Of course."

L grabbed at the other's sleeve gently and got up, pulling him along. "Come on. We don't need to talk for now. It'll be better if we don't."

* * *

The warmth pressed against his back and the steady beating that accompanied it were not simulated this time.

It was already dark outside when Light opened his eyes, registering being awake at last. Part of him had been expecting this all to be some kind of strangely-cruel dream, and in his sleepy daze, that part was still speaking over his rationality.

Light found a white hand sprawled at his side and gently took it, unfolding it like a flower. Lines on fingers could tell you as much as a book, if you knew where to search. Tentatively, he gave it a squeeze, just to make sure it was real, and then claimed it with his own hand – then both of them, pressing it to his chest – just to emphasize that it was _his_  again.

There was a drowsy mumble from behind and Light turned his body to face Ryuzaki, pulse jumping as he confirmed that the other was really there. Messy hair scattered about on the pillow, tired eyes finally closed and able to rest, face soft and glowing in sleep -

Oh. And the drool puddle.

Light considered for a moment if he should really wake Ryuzaki up, knowing that he really must need that rest. Then again, he'd been in a coma for six years, so he'd had plenty already. That was reason enough.

"Wake up." Light nudged him, but there was no response. Suddenly grinning, he noticed the exposed flash of skin under the other's shirt and slipped his hand underneath.

A smile broke out on Ryuzaki's face and he twisted around, starting to laugh. Without warning, his leg kicked out in his sleep and Light was knocked off the bed, hit painfully in the gut. When he finally recovered and managed to get up, cursing, he saw Ryuzaki clinging tightly onto a pillow and nuzzling it with his cheek, still asleep. "Light-kun..." He mumbled sleepily, still smiling.

Grumbling, Light sat down beside the other. "Hey. I'm over here. You just kicked me off the bed."

Ryuzaki's expression became worried. "Light-kun, I think you've become a marshmallow. It's okay, I think that we can work through this."

Light blinked, then called out. "Ryuzaki!"

"I still love you... in fact, I think I love you more... mrmmn..."

Oh, hell no. He was  _not_  going to be third wheel to a fucking pillow. Light did the only thing he could think of. "Ryuzaki, I'm Kira."

"You're what now?!" Ryuzaki shot up, now very awake. "Oh. Good morning... er, evening, Light-kun." He relaxed a little.

Light glowered. "You kicked me."

The other let go of the pillow with a slightly sheepish look. "Well, you're still in one piece."

"I guess I did sort-of kill you and all," Light sighed.

"Yes, that's true. Light-kun can make it up to me by getting me pancakes, giving me a back massage, or never being Kira again. All three are preferable."

"...I don't know about the pancakes."

L smiled and Light found himself pulled close, now in the position that pillow had been not too long ago. It was just as well, since he'd begun to get more than a little jealous of it. "Also, not that I don't like it when Light-kun calls me Ryuzaki, but I did find out my real name, after all, so I may as well tell him it. It's... a bit silly, though."

Light's fingers started playing with black strands absentmindedly. "Sillier than mine?"

"Well, it's just a letter. At least you weren't named a Hiragana."

"You mean your name really is L?"

"...Yes. I told you it was silly. And it kind of makes me angry that it was staring me in the face the entire time. Maybe I'd just subconsciously ignored it like I ignored never needing sleep."

Light hesitated for a moment. "...L?" L stared at him, and Light buried his face into the other's neck. "Sorry."

"For making me disappear, or for being Kira?" L's long fingers were massaging circles at the base of his neck.

"...Killing you."

"Yes, it wasn't a very nice thing to do."

"...And for what it's worth, it was only halfway intentional." Slowly, Light started placing small, apologetic kisses along smooth, pale skin, pressing himself closer to steal more of the other's addicting warmth.

He felt L relax underneath him, felt his living body exhale as he sighed. "And if it makes it any better, I absolutely suspected that you would do it eventually."

"...I didn't really doubt that." Light's attempted 'apology' continued as his lips grazed a collarbone, beginning at nudging down the other's shirt off his shoulder in a hopefully-inconspicuous manner.

L's breath caught in his throat, and his first attempt at a reply came out as a groan before he regained enough composure to speak. "Also, I suppose that I should choose a later time to ask about the details, since I'd rather like to keep my good mood right now."

Light smirked to himself, more than enjoying the effect he was causing. "...You would probably be correct."

* * *

When he was glowing like that, it was hard to continue holding back.

Pulling Light up towards his face and pressing their lips together, L felt that complacent smirk telling him the other had seen this coming from a mile away. Vying to try and destroy that smugness, he grabbed Light's shoulders and flipped him onto his back.  
"L...?" Light breathed in confusion as he broke the kiss, but soon froze as lips descended on him again, breath hitching. Grazing his teeth along the junction between neck and shoulder, L hummed triumphantly at the choked gasp he elicited, trailing downwards with his tongue and grinning as the other's throat quivered under it, drinking in with his eyes that lovely shade of red colouring his face.

Noticing L watching him, Light quickly turned his flushed face away, shutting his eyes tightly. L bit down and he gasped out, clamping a hand over his mouth, shivering against fingertips rubbing circles at his hipbones and slowly making their way upwards. Smiling, L nudged against Light's neck gently and placed kisses up to the cheek still accessible, pressing more still to his shaking fingertips.  _Don't hide._

Taking Light's wrist, L pulled the hand away, pressing it against his lips once more and watching as the remains of that carefully-maintained facade finally collapsed. He wanted every wall to be broken down between them; to achieve unconditional cooperation, to become unstoppable together. And more than anything, he wanted for them to be able to trust each other, to know that Light wanted exactly the same. L almost wished he could be like Near, able to read others' thoughts, and able to know whether he was right - as much as he liked to think that he could tell what Light was thinking just by careful observation, he knew he'd give anything just to know his thoughts for a single second.

...Although it was unlikely Near would be very happy to go anywhere near Kira's mind, dormant or not, any time again soon. No, ideally, they could be so much more if they worked together, if they fell into sync - nothing like that would even be necessary.

And hopefully, if Light was willing to accept, they would be able to become a team again soon, even better than before.

Far too much to put into words - and so L silently made them known against his lips, still holding onto that hand and pressing it into the sheets, feeling Light's fingers thread with his own and squeeze back just as tightly. More fingers, drifting through his hair before pushing down to deepen the kiss, and L sighed as the last of his worries left the premises. It was too much to think anymore - he was lost already, head giving up at last and floating into the clouds.

But everything shattered and L froze as Light's hand left his hair and dived under his shirt, instantly unable to concentrate any more as -

"Hahaha! L-Light-kun, t-this is -" He curled up as he was mercilessly tickled, tears pricking his eyes. "This is cheating!"

Well, it wasn't like L didn't already know how sore a loser Kira was.

Thankfully, it soon stopped, and the other sat up, snickering at him. There were those warm eyes again, and it took L just about all he had just to stop himself from jumping Light again right then and there.

"Payback for kicking me off the bed. You can guess how I found out."

L soon sat up as well, keeping a fair distance this time. "Oh. Did I? Well, that's hardly my fault, Light-kun. It's... a trained reaction."

"I don't think I'll ask."

"You'll have it soon too once you end up living in this place a while." L was looking forward to watching Light wake to a horde of psychic children intent on analysing every last detail about the house's new resident.

"Living...?" Light's eyes widened a little.

"Well, I'll be able to tell you more about it later..." L smiled. "But... I've been offered an interesting job by the owner of this place. One that I doubt I'll get bored of, at least for a little while."

Light raised an eyebrow. "So your plans of being an ice cream man really are scrapped?"

L tilted his head. "Oh no, I'm going into law enforcement. Well, of a sort. And I was thinking you might want to join me."

* * *

" _I was wondering," L murmured, tapping his lip and looking around the room, where only Mello, Matt, and Near were present. There was somebody missing. "You told me that after the old place burned down... it wasn't only the three of you who ended up being taken in here."_

_Blank, far-staring looks of silent horror and remembrance followed from the three children in front of him. He who must not be named indeed. "...B." Near said simply, hoping somebody else would pick up for him._

" _Well, we haven't seen him since he... left, about two years ago." Mello continued. "Wammy's still tracking him down."_

" _You could say that at least he had a career prospect." Near said._

_B? Employment? L just had to pray that it didn't involve small animals, the elderly, or the care of those two thereof._

" _Yes, I think we all hoped that," Near added, having read his thoughts._

_There was a long pause._

_Matt broke the awkward silence. "He decided to be an ice cream man."_

_Everybody stared at him._

" _Well, by that..." Near mumbled. "We mean he hijacked an ice cream van out of nowhere and somehow drove away."_

_L considered this._

" _What," L decided following said consideration, "exactly, was I_ doing _with my life for seven years?"_

" _...He drank an entire squeezy bottle of strawberry sauce and puked on a crowd of children."_

_L remained unfazed._

" _And then proceeded to run over those children." Near finished._

" _...I'll say it again. What was I_ doing? _"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not someone who usually writes, I usually draw, but for whatever reason this godawful thing has kept me locked in its basement since the beginning of august and I just decided to finish it all in one go because I don't trust myself to leave projects unfinished.  
> my biggest hope is that nothing seems too rushed. I feel like all the editing I did towards the end made some parts a little awkward. (and I apologize for how bad I am with shippy scenes.)  
> and I just want to say thank you so much to everyone who has ever commented on this, because you all gave me so much encouragement. ;u; I may or may not write something else eventually.  
> as for the ending: I'm guessing that their line of work as L will be dedicated mainly to solving supernatural-related shenanigans.


End file.
